Episode Highlights With Dr. Shefali

• Why she wrote this parenting book and how this one is the how-to for parents
• How we can move away from control and into connection with our kids
• The chaos and nonsense we can create as parents without realizing it
• How parents accidentally create the cycle of dysfunction in families
• No human being likes to be controlled and how this control backfires with children
• How to depersonalize interactions with our kids to calm the situation
• Anytime you perceive it as a loss of control, you are going to lose control
• Why kids aren’t trying to be disrespectful and when we fail to understand what is going on under the behavior, we create more of their behavior
• Looking for Signs: Something inside gone negative
• The three reasons children misbehave: lack of skill, lack of life experience, lack of worth and how to help each of these
• What a savior complex is and how it harms our relationship with our children
• How showing up as the savior disempowers them and makes things tougher in the long run
• Ways to teach our children to carry to oars of their own saving
• Developmentally appropriate ways to nurture this in our children
• Why she claims that our children don’t owe us respect (and I agree)
• How punishment and learning are opposed and how to actually help them learn
• Why not to have outcome focused parenting (trying to raise happy, successful children) and how this can keep them from being in touch with their feelings
• Teach your children to be authentic instead of teaching them to be happy
• Creating successful children is an unhealthy goal, and what to do instead
• How to navigate this method of parenting when parents disagree on method of parenting
• What to do when kids are angry, disrespectful, unmotivated, or lie and how to build better connection in these instances
• It’s about being more conscious not perfect

Resources We Mention

• The Parenting Map: Step-by-Step Solutions to Consciously Create the Ultimate Parent-Child Relationship by Dr. Shefali Tsabary
• The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children by Dr. Shefali Tsabary
• The Awakened Family: How to Raise Empowered, Resilient, and Conscious Children by Dr. Shefali Tsabary
• Dr. Shefali - Website
• The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle