The Patrauma Party

A lack of encouragement in childhood leaves a deep mark on us—it can impact our sense of self-worth, of safety, of resiliance—you name it. Sometimes it's easy to see that we weren't encouraged, but for many of us, we don't even realize that it's at the root of many of our struggles. In this episode, I welcome writer and therapist Solasta McIntyre back to the show to talk us through how a lack of encouragement impacts children's developing brains, what the repercussions look like in adulthood, and how we heal.

The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.

There are so many ways to approach healing the mother wound, and what works for one person won't necessarily work for someone else. That's why I was SOOOO excited to have hilarious comedian, internet star, badass feminist, daily meditator, mental health advocate, and sweet baby angel Toni Nagy on the show to talk about what her process has looked like in working through the mother wound (plus we get some dad stuff in there, too, so. humble brag).

The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.

Never heard of limerence? You know that feeling when you don't know if someone's into you, but you can't stop thinking about it, you get stuck in daydreams about them, and you're just waiting with bated breath for the next time they talk to you? It's that feeling of romantic obsession that keeps you stuck on people who don't reciprocate, and turns out—it's a trauma response. In this episode, clinical social worker and psychotherapist Amanda Ichihashi Jagerman joins the pod to talk about how limerence works, where it comes from, and how we overcome it.

The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.

Lucy writes in about being "discarded" by her ex-boyfriend who struggles with addiction. She wants to figure out why he's acting this way—she wants it to make sense. How do we navigate relationships like these?

The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.

It's not something you can slap a dinner party on and call it good. Chronic loneliness is often carried into adulthood from childhood—usually due to neglect. In this episode, I talk to psychotherapist Zara Neukom about how chronic loneliness starts, how it impacts our lives, and what it can look like to change from a lens of hyper self-reliance to one of mutual support.

The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.

Many of us have been cheated on—but also, many of us had parents who cheated. In this episode, Robin writes in to share the trauma she experienced as a child around her dad's cheating, and the way it impacts her still as an adult. We talk about what our inner child needs in those moments, why our worthiness gets tanked when we're cheated on, and why learning that a partner is cheating is actually really helpful information.

The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.

You know that feeling of being in trouble that makes you want to throw up? sob? jump out of your skin? It's really common, but especially when you grew up around dysregulated adults or were abused as a kid. It's not just emotionally exhausting, it also sends your body into emergency mode and can cause all kinds of illnesses (!!!). In this episode, somatic practitioner Veronica Rottman talks us through what lies beneath the feeling of being in trouble, how it affects us, and what it looks like to heal.

The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.

After getting rejected from countless job interviews, Aaron started believing he was a failure, stuck in a rut that would never change. In this episode, we dig through the past to find and heal old beliefs, while looking for new ways of relating to the pain of rejection and lack of control.

The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.

As a recovering people-pleaser, I can ONE HUNDRED PERCENT attest to the fact that we are motivated by fear. It's a survival tactic that tons of us learned to navigate abusive or chaotic childhoods. But the problem is that it doesn't end in childhood—we take people-pleasing into our friendships, our sex lives, our living situations, our professional spheres—literally everywhere. In this episode, I welcome therapist and people-pleasing coach Emily Nader to the pod to talk about people-pleasing without even knowing you're doing it (fuucckkkk), the connection between people-pleasing and anxious attachment, how we heal the instinct to people-please, and lots more.

The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.

After her painful, messy divorce, Erika is isolating from her friends. She doesn't want to be a burden on them or fail in her role as the "reliable" one. Together, we process the underlying emotions of feeling unchosen, unwanted, and unworthy.

The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.