The Balance Theory

The REAL Reason Progress Isn't Making You Feel Better w Annalie Howling


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🚨 Trigger Warning: This episode includes a discussion of self-harm. Please take care while listening.


You’re doing everything right — checking the boxes, reaching your goals, and growing on paper. But deep down, something still feels off.


Why doesn’t the progress stick? Why does every achievement feel good… but only for a moment?


In this episode, we uncover how shame often hides beneath the surface of high achievement — quietly driving your need to succeed, be the “good girl,” or live up to others’ expectations.


🔑 We cover:

* How shame subtly drives high achievers without them realising it

* Why your wins don’t land the way you thought they would

* The pressure to be the “good girl” — and what it’s costing you

* What to do when your identity no longer feels like it fits

* Friendship breakups, saying no, and reclaiming space for the real you


If you’ve ever felt like your life looks perfect but doesn’t feel like yours, this conversation will help you reconnect with the version of you that feels truly aligned.


💭 You might not even realise shame is the root — but if your progress feels empty or fleeting, this might be your missing piece.


NUTRAORGANICS

Today's episode is brought to you by my current daily go-to brand for all things wellness, supplements, vitamins and wholefoods. I am currently LOVING the collagen powder and bone broth range.


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TIME STAMPS

(00:00) Introduction

(04:30) Are high achievers driven by shame?

(07:55) Are Limiting Beliefs because of shame?

(09:36) How do you know if your identity is actually you?

(11:44) Why you shouldn’t say “be a good girl”

(18:04) Be mindful of the word “SHOULD”

(22:26) How do you be authentically you if others are used to another version?

(24:31) How do you manage friendship breakups?

(28:04) Narcissism in friendships

(35:46) What’s the difference between being lonely or being on my own?

(43:06) How does one get good at saying no


WHO AM I?

My name is Erika and I am an Australian living in Dubai. I have my own business as a strategic legal consultant and run this podcast to explore my passion + curiosity for all things health, wellness, self growth & mindset. A big focus of mine is how to sustainably navigate a busy schedule and live my best life in the process. Welcome to my Channel! 📸 Connect with me on IG!


RESOURCES

▶︎ 21 Day Self Growth Challenge

▶︎ Goal Setting System E-Book


LET’S BE FRIENDS

📸 Instagram

📱Tiktok


MY FAVOURITE STUFF

💻 Email & Calendar tool - Sunsama for 1 Month free trial

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The Balance TheoryBy Erika De Pellegrin

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