The Save The Marriage Podcast

By Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Society & Culture Education

What's The Save The Marriage Podcast about?

Learn how to save your marriage and improve your relationship. Stop your divorce and restore a loving relationship. Join Dr. Lee H. Baucom for this impactful podcast that can save your marriage.

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LAST EPISODE

“I Want to Save My Marriage...

01.20.2021

In previous podcast episodes, I have answered questions submitted by listeners. In fact, I still do. You can email your questions by clicking here. But since this podcast goes to listeners around the world, submitted questions need to be a) ...

The Save The Marriage Podcast episodes:

01.20.2021 “I Want to Save My Marriage” Q & A In previous podcast episodes, I have answered questions submitted by listeners. In fact, I still do. You can email your questions by clicking here. But since this podcast goes to listeners around the world, submitted questions need to be a) ...
01.13.2021 From Apology to Reconciling You have already journeyed to here. Maybe your relationship is hurting and in pain. Maybe your connection has gone cold. But however you got here, whatever the path, you want to get somewhere different. Somewhere better. It may seem cliche, ...
01.06.2021 Staying in the Game You might feel like "tapping out," or forfeiting, just giving up and walking away. It can be frustrating when you are trying to save a marriage, only to get pushback from a spouse. You are working to build the connection, ...
12.30.2020 What’s Your Plan? We are about to turn the page on the calendar. For me, that means a look forward. What will the new year hold? What will I bring into the new year? Either it happens to you or you make it ...
12.23.2020 Ghosts of Relationship Past Do you settle down with a good book you have read over and over this time of year? I read my kids the exact same Christmas book every single year. And many years, I re-read a classic for myself… like ...
12.16.2020 Caught In A Triangle Basic geometry, right? The triangle? Just three points and three lines connecting. Simple. A building block for geometric shapes of all kinds. And yet, in the context of relationships… it is detrimental. Not a building block at all. In fact, ...
12.09.2020 “I Saved My Marriage!” Many times, in the midst of trying to save a marriage, the anxiety and fears can lock you up, overwhelmed with what to do next. When that happens, the outcome is often a lack of change, motivation, or action. And ...
12.02.2020 Rewriting the Past Sounds so philosophical, doesn't it? Your "created past." What is that? We all do it. We remember things based on our emotional state, not on what happened. When someone hurts us, we think back on the other times they hurt ...
11.25.2020 Marriage Lie #5: Your Spouse Should Make You Happy You were probably very happy when you got married. You believed the happiness would always be there. And now, your spouse is saying, “I’m not happy.” Embedded in that seems to be some idea that you are the cause of ...
11.18.2020 Marriage Lie #4: Marriage is 50 / 50 Equal partnership. That is what a marriage is about, when it is healthy. Right? Right?? Nope. Just another marriage lie. Oh, not on purpose! Nope, these marriage lies are not intentional. Just not true. Unfortunately, as people repeat them, they ...
11.11.2020 Marriage Lie #3: Conflict Means Its Wrong If you find yourself arguing and in conflict, that is an indication that something is wrong with your marriage, right? Right? No. Not at all. But it may be that your conflict resolution is a problem. Just one that can ...
11.04.2020 Marriage Lie #2: “Meet All of My Needs” A spouse should complete you… right? Your emotional needs, companion needs, physical needs… if your spouse is meeting them, then that is the right spouse… right? And therefore, if your spouse isn’t meeting your needs… wrong person… right? Wrong. In ...
10.28.2020 Marriage Lie #1: “If It’s Work, It’s Wrong” “I give up,” he said, throwing up his arms. He was ready to leave the session. But before he walked out, I asked, “Can you tell me what just happened? Why are you giving up?" He told me, “Look, we ...
10.21.2020 When Your Plan Hits a Wall Your plan to save your marriage has hit a wall. Maybe things were moving forward, or maybe they have been stalled from the beginning. But your plan? It hit the wall. First, let me assure you that this is not ...
10.14.2020 DWYADAYGWYAG No, a toddler didn’t take to pounding on my keyboard. And no, my new puppy didn’t paw my keyboard… well, at least on for the title. Yep, I meant it: DWYADAYGWYAG. But to back up, have you ever noticed how ...
10.07.2020 What About Love? A podcast listener (accurately) noted that I don’t talk too much about love. The listener wanted to just get back to the love they had shared at one time, and wanted to know how to fall back in love. I ...
09.30.2020 There IS No Try “I’ll try,” my client said in response to multiple suggestions about actions to take. But each week, the “try” never happened. Just a couple of days ago, I got the same response to another suggestion. Before that, I had a ...
09.23.2020 Can You Force Connection? Surely you can convince your spouse to work on your marriage… right? Yes, your marriage is in crisis. But if you say the right thing… or say it in the right way… or convince, beg, cajole, argue, and somehow shift ...
09.16.2020 5 Myths of Saving Your Marriage Do you ever start on some new habit you heard about, maybe about the best diet or exercise, only to find that it isn’t true later on? And have you ever discovered it was actually even worse for you? (Just ...
09.08.2020 The Choice… “It’s your choice,” I reassured her. It was a call I picked up between sessions. The person told me she had been following my System, but wasn’t sure if she could keep it up. She wasn’t sure if it mattered, ...
09.02.2020 When You Can’t Make Your Spouse Happy Many a marriage crisis emerges when a spouse declares, “I’m not happy.” It is really a statement about discontent with the relationship. But many respond by assuming they now know what they need to do: make their spouse happy. Which ...
08.26.2020 FACT of Your Crisis: How to Face Your Crisis and Move Forward Sometimes, just a hint or trick will do it. Maybe you want a trick or hint for an online game. Or even a trick for a better pancake. A hint for a better pushup. But hints and tricks won’t work ...
08.19.2020 How Steep is the Climb? “How hard is it to save my marriage?” the email started. The writer wanted my opinion on whether my System would work. There was a problem, though. The problem was… I had no details about her marital problems. I didn’t ...
08.12.2020 Love and Respect: An Interview with Emerson Eggerichs "What’s love got to do with it??" "R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what that means to me!” Tina Turner calls for love, and Aretha Franklin calls out for respect. But what is the connection between love and respect? Emerson Eggerichs is the ...
08.05.2020 How Fear Hijacks Your Marriage: Poly Vagal Theory Your ancestors, way, way back, survived because they were more fearful than their peers. Because of their fear, they survived, while the less fearful fell to threats. Over time, this means that we naturally inherited overly-developed fear responses. It doesn’t ...
07.29.2020 How to Get the Love You Want Why did you fall in love with your spouse? Why do people fall in love with the person they fall in love? And perhaps even more importantly for our time together, why do those same relationships cause such pain? How ...
07.22.2020 Why These Approaches Are Dangerous (2 to avoid) I just googled, “how to save your marriage.” There were 607,000,000. Over 1/2 a billion results! How do you sort through them? How do you find a real approach, from someone who knows what they are doing? It’s like looking ...
07.15.2020 How to be the Bigger Victim Most people don’t come right out and say it, but they have a sneaking suspicion that they are the victim in their marital situation. They believe they have been done wrong… more wrong than they have done. Problem is, their ...
07.08.2020 What CAN One Person Do? Can one person save a marriage, even if your spouse doesn’t want it? I do say that my Save The Marriage System can save your marriage, even if only you want it. But what can you really do, if your ...
07.01.2020 Escaping the Attraction – breaking free from the affair partner Another listener question is the topic of this week’s episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast. The question focuses on an affair… and leaving it. What do you do about the strong attraction that can develop with the affair partner? ...
06.24.2020 The Differences Between Happy and Hurting Marriages Marriages start at the same place: two people in love, ready to face the world together. And most believe they have already beaten the odds. Their love is “the real thing,” enduring and lasting. It won’t fall apart like those ...
06.17.2020 Service or Repair? My car is in for service. Usually, that means I am in their lounge, trying my best to work with daytime TV blaring in the background. But due to COVID, I decided to leave it there and head for home. ...
06.10.2020 How to Deepen Your Connection The #1 reason people sought me out for couples counseling: “We are just not connected.” The #1 reason why marriages end up failing: “We are just too disconnected." What happened? That connection you had at the beginning of your marriage… ...
06.03.2020 Survival Rules for Your Marriage Your marriage is in trouble. You know you want to save your relationship, but you aren’t sure how. Step #1 is surviving. Confession: I have an abiding interest in survival. I’m the guy who reads all the scuba accident reports, ...
05.27.2020 Focused On The Wrong Things? At the beginning of a coaching session, my clients often tell me what they have been focused on in their marriage crisis. Almost always, they are focusing on the wrong things. And in the process, they are not focusing on ...
05.20.2020 When Marriage is Hard “Why is marriage so hard?” That is a question I often hear from struggling couples. What happened? All of that love, all the connection, seems to disappear, to be replaced with struggle and strife. At the start, it seemed so ...
05.13.2020 Hanging On To Hope Your spouse thinks it’s hopeless. You may even be wondering that, too. But is it? Is it hopeless? Or is the problem that your spouse is hopeless — not the situation? Let’s be honest: if you give up hope, it ...
05.06.2020 Love Isn’t (Only) Romantic “Our marriage is broken,” she told me. “We don’t have the passion anymore, so I don’t think we should stay married.” Missing passion… is it the end of marriage, or something else? Most relationships are sparked by infatuation. Call it ...
04.29.2020 Quarantined Together or Apart If a marriage crisis was not enough to deal with… now we have a pandemic. And if that was not enough, we are self-isolating. The pandemic isn’t anything we can control. Self-isolating is best for ourselves and others. What, though, ...
04.22.2020 Finding the Energy – Continuing your Efforts “I’m just out of energy,” she told me, “I don’t think I can even try to save my marriage. Besides, what is the point?" Let’s face it: right now, many people are feeling exhausted and drained. And working to save ...
04.16.2020 Proving Your Perception (is dangerous) I can’t count how many times a couple has come to me for “help with our communication skills.” Funny thing is, they communicate just fine. Then why are they stuck in conflict? Why are they disconnected? Why does it seem ...
04.09.2020 Time for a Relationship Reset? Unless you are hiding out in a cave somewhere (I read about a person who had been on a silent retreat — went in with everything normal and came out to the pandemic), your world has been topsy-turvy. We will ...
04.02.2020 Coping as a Couple Caught in COVID Quarantine Are you suddenly finding yourself and your spouse stuck together, thanks to the COVID-19 pandemic? Is it suddenly very close quarters? If your marriage wasn’t struggling before, this may be the stressor that pushes your relationship into crisis. Or it ...
03.26.2020 Staying the Course in a Crisis (or 2) The phrase, “Stay the Course,” comes from the commitment in battle to continue moving toward your goal, regardless of obstacles or difficulties. So first, let’s let go of the battle analogy. You aren’t in battle. But you are fighting for ...
03.19.2020 What Now? – Saving your marriage in the midst of a pandemic First, you were caught in the swirling whirlwind of a marriage crisis. Now, to add to that, a pandemic is taking over. Whatever fears you had about your marriage are now layered with your concerns about your health (and the ...
03.12.2020 Where Did The Love Go? I get that question very frequently: “What happened? Where did the love go?" Maybe you feel it, maybe you hear it. The end result is the same: one or both people just not feeling it… not feeling love. Maybe “I ...
03.05.2020 Marriage Wrecker: Conflict Over the last couple of episodes, I have been looking at what wrecks marriage. First, I discussed Expectations. Then, I discussed Disconnection. In this episode, we look at another “Marriage Wrecker”: Conflict. Yes, I know, plenty of people will tell ...
02.27.2020 Marriage Wrecker: Disconnection Your marriage is hurting. Why? What happened? What wrecked your marriage? In the last podcast episode, I discussed how expectations can wreck a marriage. But unfortunately, there are some other issues and concerns that can wreck your marriage. This week’s ...
02.20.2020 Marriage Wrecker: Expectations “What can I expect from my spouse?” That was the lead question. Because over and over, her expectations had not been met. “Expectations,” I told her, “can wreck your marriage." “Which expectations?”, she asked. I noted, “Any." But shouldn’t you ...
02.13.2020 Is Your Marriage in the Safe Zone? She started the conversation by telling how she was confused… her spouse had confused her. He said he didn’t feel safe enough to share his emotions, didn’t feel safe enough to move back into their bedroom, didn’t feel safe enough ...

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