The Art of Charm

The Secret to Owning Any Room


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What does it actually mean to be "high value" at a networking event—and how can you radiate it without saying a word? In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak break down how calm, cooperative, and confident behavior—not bravado—builds real influence.

They share the science behind why people are drawn to prestige-based status, reveal the nonverbal signals that instantly raise your value, and explain how one client transformed from anxious to unforgettable using a technique you can try this week. If you've ever felt invisible in high-pressure rooms or unsure how to make lasting impressions, this episode gives you the tools to be the most memorable person in any space.

What to Listen For

[00:00:00] Why high-value presence isn’t about controlling the conversation
[00:01:00] The seven-second rule: First impressions are fast and lasting
[00:04:00] Emotional contagion and how people feel your value before they hear it
[00:07:00] Calm is a power move: How to regulate energy at high-anxiety events
[00:12:00] Case Study: How “Aaron” became the standout at a major conference
[00:17:30] What to say when you’re caught off guard in a group conversation
[00:20:00] How to attract people without chasing them
[00:22:00] Three-step challenge to be high value at your next event

Episode Takeaways

  • First impressions are made in seven seconds—calm energy signals confidence

  • Prestige-based status builds longer, deeper influence than dominance

  • People feel your value before they assess your skills, thanks to mirror neurons

  • The AAA Formula—Attention, Acceptance, Appreciation—creates magnetic presence

  • Exposure therapy helps reduce anxiety and build real confidence under pressure

  • Elevating others (deep compliments, appreciation) increases your own value

  • Body language speaks first—prepare before you even enter the room

  • Being high value isn’t about being loud; it’s about being felt and remembered


    The Art of Charm Social Intelligence ProgramLooking to quickly improve your social intelligence with support from AJ, Johnny, and their team? Check out the Art of Charm Social Intelligence Program at⁠ intel.theartofcharm.com⁠. A quick application gets you on board.

    1. In your next conversation, start by sharing a small vulnerability or flaw

    2. When they respond, label the emotion you hear in their story

    3. Before leaving, ask for advice (not feedback or validation)

      Try all three in one conversation and report back what changed, who opened up, and what surprised you.⁠Email AJ⁠ your results

      • ⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠

      • ⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠

      • ⁠AJ on Instagram⁠

      • ⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠

      • ⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠

      • ⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠

      • ⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok⁠

        What to Listen ForEpisode Takeaways:A Word From Our SponsorsThis Week's ChallengeCheck in with AJ and Johnny!


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        The Art of CharmBy The Art of Charm

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