The Ultimate Birth Partner Podcast

ADVOCACY - Who protects your space when you can't? And why does that matter?

In this episode, we're exploring the third word in my SPACE Framework™: Advocacy.

When we think about advocacy in birth, it can be easy to imagine confrontation, challenging every decision or having a birth partner who is prepared to fight the maternity system. But advocacy is about something much more important than being the loudest person in the room.

It is about protecting your autonomy.

During labour, there may come a point when you are deeply absorbed in what your body is doing and simply don't want to manage the conversations happening around you. You may still want to understand what is being proposed and remain involved in decisions about your care, but you may need someone beside you who can help create the time, space and opportunity for you to do that without taking over or making decisions for you.

Therefore the question I want you to think about this week is:

Who protects your space when you can't? And why does that matter?

Explore the SPACE Framework™ - https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/the-space-framework--digital-pdf 

(This is FREE within the Discover Your North Star Course)

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...

PRIVACY: What Do You Need to Stop Feeling Observed?

What does privacy actually mean during labour?

In this episode, we move to the second word in the SPACE Framework™: Privacy.

Privacy isn't simply about being alone or having a closed door. A woman can have people she trusts around her and still feel completely private, while being physically alone doesn't necessarily mean she feels unobserved or protected from interruption.

During labour, a woman may gradually become less socially aware and more absorbed in what is happening within her body. She may become quieter, close her eyes, move instinctively, make sounds without thinking about how she appears, and become far less interested in conversation or what is happening around her.

So what happens when she is continually brought back into the outside world?

The question I leave you with this week is:

What do I need in order to stop feeling observed?

Explore the SPACE Framework™ - https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/the-space-framework--digital-pdf 

(This is FREE within the Discover Your North Star Course)

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...

SAFETY: What Does Safety Actually Feel Like?

What do we really mean when we talk about safety in birth?

In this episode, I introduce the first word in the SPACE Framework™: Safety.

When we talk about safe birth, we often think about physical or clinical safety, and of course, the wellbeing of both mother and baby matters enormously. But safety is not only about clinical observations, equipment or the ability to respond if something changes.

A woman is also experiencing birth through her nervous system.

She is constantly responding to the people around her, the information she receives, the way she is spoken to and whether she feels able to relax, ask questions and let go.

The question I leave you with this week is:

What will I need to feel safe enough to let go?

Explore the SPACE Framework™ - https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/the-space-framework--digital-pdf 

(This is FREE within the Discover Your North Star Course)

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...

CURIOSITY: What Don't You Know Yet?

How do we prepare for birth when we don't yet know what we don't know?

In the first episode of Season 7, I'm exploring the word Curiosity and why I believe it may be one of the most valuable things you can bring into pregnancy and birth.

We are surrounded by information, advice, opinions, recommendations and stories, but being given information isn't always the same as understanding it. Curiosity allows us to look a little deeper, ask better questions and remain open to learning something new, even when that new information challenges something we previously believed.

I also reflect on these words from Maya Angelou: "Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."

Perhaps we don't need to know everything before we begin preparing for birth.

Perhaps we simply need to remain curious enough to keep learning.

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...

Words

Welcome to Season 7 of The Ultimate Birth Partner Podcast.

This season is a little different.

Rather than focusing on one particular aspect of pregnancy, labour or birth in each episode, I’m taking a single word and using it as the starting point for a much bigger conversation.

The words I’ve chosen have come from decades of experience as a doula and antenatal educator, as well as from everything I have learned from the women, partners and families I have supported over the years.

Because sometimes one word can change the way we think about something.

A word can challenge an assumption. It can open up a new perspective. It can give us language for something we have experienced but never quite understood. And sometimes it can make us question something we have simply accepted as normal.

That is what I want Season 7 to do.

These episodes are not about giving you a list of things you should or shouldn’t do. They are about thinking more deeply about birth, about the systems and environments in which birth takes place, and about the experiences of the women and partners at the heart of it.

My hope is that these conversations bring wisdom, encourage curiosity and develop your thinking.

Because preparing for birth is about much more than knowing what happens during labour. It is also about understanding yourself, understanding your choices, recognising what influences the way you experience birth, and thinking carefully about the conditions that can support you.

So, this season, we are going to slow things down.

One word.

One conversation.

And perhaps one new way of thinking about birth.

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...

In this final episode of the season, I’m bringing together many of the themes we’ve explored over recent weeks and looking at one central idea: birth is not just about the destination — it’s about the journey as well.

So often, birth conversations are reduced to outcomes. Was the baby healthy? Did everything go okay? Was everyone safe? And while those things absolutely matter, they are not the full story.

In this episode, I explore what gets lost when birth is viewed only as a medical event. When the focus stays solely on monitoring, managing and achieving an outcome, women can disappear from the centre of their own experience. Birth can start to feel like something that happens around them rather than something they are actively moving through.

I reflect on how this links to many of the topics we’ve covered this season, including decision-making in labour, consent, subtle pressure, nervous system responses and what it means to feel safe, informed and included during birth.

I also explore why two women can experience similar births on paper and walk away feeling completely differently about them. Our previous experiences, beliefs, fears, nervous system responses and sense of self all shape how birth is experienced in real time.

We also touch on the idea of birth as a rite of passage and how this connects to matrescence — the transition into motherhood. Birth is not simply an event to complete. It is part of a much bigger identity shift, and how women move through that process can shape how they step into motherhood afterwards.

This episode is a reminder to prepare for more than just the outcome. To understand yourself. To recognise how you respond under pressure. To stay connected to what matters to you.

And perhaps most importantly, it’s an invitation to stop treating birth as something to simply get through.

Because how you experience birth matters.

And that experience stays with you long after the baby is born.

Thank you for listening this season.

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...

In this episode, I take a deeper look at breathing and relaxation in preparation for labour — going beyond the simple advice to “just breathe” or “try to relax.” These are not magic fixes, but skills that reflect how your nervous system responds to stress, intensity, and the sensations of labour.

I talk about how the modern world keeps our bodies in a constant state of alert. Our bodies are always scanning for threat, and for many of us, a slight state of tension has become normal. This affects how we experience birth, because labour is a deeply mammalian process that relies on the body feeling safe, supported, and able to drop into an instinctive state.

I explain the difference between physiological pain, which is expected and manageable, and pathological pain, which indicates that something in the body or the baby’s position is creating extra intensity. The baby is navigating your body’s infrastructure — the uterus, musculoskeletal system, fascia, emotional state, and even placental position — and sometimes that can lead to sensations that cannot be handled by breathing alone. I also explore how the mind interacts with the body during labour. 

By the end of this episode, you’ll understand that breathing and relaxation are part of a bigger picture — a skill set that develops over time, incorporating your body, mind, and nervous system — giving you confidence and practical tools to navigate labour more effectively.

Purchase my 1 hour track Breathe 

Episode 9 - Breathing and Relaxation Skills for labour  

Episode 107 - More Breathing and Relaxation Skills for labour

Episode 121 - FREE Somatic Guided Relaxation for your nervous system 

Episode 141 - Simple strategies for a calm and empowered labour 

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...

Why do so many women leave their birth experience wondering, “Why did I agree to that?”

In this episode, we explore a rarely discussed but deeply important aspect of childbirth — the body’s survival response, and how it can shape decision-making in labour in ways we don’t always recognise at the time.

Through a powerful listener story, this conversation gently unpacks what can happen when a woman is in a highly vulnerable, hormonally driven state, and how her nervous system may respond to pressure, authority, or perceived threat. We explore the concept of fawning — a natural, biological response where the body seeks safety through compliance — and how this can lead to saying “yes” in moments where there may not have felt like a real choice.

We then move into cognitive dissonance, the psychological process that often follows birth, where the brain works to make sense of decisions that may not have felt fully aligned in the moment. This can leave women feeling confused, questioning themselves, or quietly unsettled — even when everything appeared to go “well” on the surface.

This episode is not about blame or criticism. It’s about understanding.
Understanding the nervous system.
Understanding the power dynamics within maternity care.
And understanding how true, informed consent relies on more than just the presence of a “yes.”

We also explore what this means in the context of autonomy and consent, and why awareness of these responses before birth can be so powerful. When women understand how their body and brain may respond under pressure, they can begin to prepare — not to control birth, but to stay more connected to themselves within it.

If you have ever felt unsure about decisions made during your birth, or if you’re preparing for birth and want a deeper understanding of how to protect your space, your voice, and your autonomy, this episode will offer a new lens — one rooted in compassion, not judgement.

Because this isn’t about getting it “right.”
It’s about understanding what’s happening — and giving yourself the support and awareness to stay connected to your choices, even in the most intense moments.

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...

I’m taking a little break over the Easter holidays, but I didn’t want you to miss this episode, because it’s the final one in our postpartum series, part of this season on The Reality of Birth. 

Across this series, we’ve explored what life is really like after birth—the joys, the challenges, the surprises, and all the moments in between. We’ve talked about sleep, emotional shifts, body changes, identity, and the real realities of those first few weeks with a newborn.

For this final episode, I’m revisiting a conversation I had with fellow doula Maddie McMahon, all about breastfeeding—one of the most rewarding, yet often misunderstood, parts of postpartum life. We get into the practical challenges, the emotional highs and lows, and what it really takes to navigate feeding in those early weeks.

Sit back, relax, and enjoy this important discussion while I recharge over the holidays. 💛

You can find Maddie - developingdoulas.co.uk

Maddies Miracle - https://maddiesmiracle.org.uk/

Breastfeeding helplines:-

• National Breastfeeding Helpline: 0300 100 0212.
• Association of Breastfeeding Mothers: 0300 330 5453.
• La Leche League: 0345 120 2918.
• National Childbirth Trust (NCT): 0300 330 0700.
• The Breastfeeding Network supporter line in Bengali and Sylheti: 0300 456 2421.

The 4 Keeps:

• Keep your baby fed
• Keep your milk flowing
• Keep your baby close
• Keep your breastfeeding helper on speed dial

http://www.biologicalnurturing.com/video/bn3clip.html?fbclid=IwAR0__-DYLW0cji2esq9l2iLT89dm9G0rCrvKps98Vu2sxPqoYn8MoJkvz14

https://youtu.be/WmOvR8Om79Y (me - bottle top latch)

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...

Motherhood is more than a role—it’s a profound transformation. In this episode, I explore matrescence, the process of becoming a mother, and what it really means for your body, your relationships, and your sense of self.

I talk openly about reconnecting with your postpartum body, navigating intimacy and sex after birth, and adjusting to the new dynamics in your relationship. I share reflections on shifting priorities, managing guilt when taking time for yourself, and learning to let go of control while trusting others with your baby. I also explore the delicate and personal decisions around having another child, including balancing fear and desire and honouring your own readiness.

This episode is honest, grounded, and compassionate. It’s a reminder that motherhood isn’t about getting it right—it’s about understanding the changes you’re going through, moving through them with awareness, and integrating them into your new life. I also discuss what to do if you’re struggling and why asking for support is a sign of strength, not failure.

By the end of this episode, I hope you feel seen, validated, and reminded that you’re not just learning how to care for a baby—you’re learning how to live as a mother.

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...