The Ultimate Birth Partner Podcast

Bringing a new baby into your family is often described as a joyful and exciting time — but the reality is far more complex.

In this episode, I share an honest, real-world look at what it’s like to welcome a newborn into your home and your family, whether this is your first baby or you already have children.

We explore the emotional, physical, and practical realities of the early weeks — from sleep deprivation and feeding challenges to the intense sense of responsibility and constant worry that many parents experience.

I also share the importance of managing expectations — including why I often say that babies are boring — and how understanding the reality of newborn life can make the transition feel more manageable.

For those with older children, this episode is packed with practical strategies to help them feel secure, included, and valued, rather than pushed aside during this big change.

We also look at how to involve family members and visitors in a way that supports your older child, protects your space, and creates a calmer environment in those early weeks.

This episode is full of practical tips, real-world examples, and simple strategies you can implement immediately to make the arrival of a new baby a positive experience for everyone.

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...

Since last week’s episode was released, I’ve received so many messages from listeners asking for more information about the fourth trimester and postpartum planning that I decided to record this extra episode to explore these topics in more depth.

The weeks after birth are often overlooked in birth preparation, yet they represent one of the most significant transitions for both mother and baby. In this episode, I talk about the biological realities of the fourth trimester, why newborn behaviour often makes perfect sense when we understand human development, and why planning for postpartum can make such a difference to recovery and wellbeing.

I also explore how cultural expectations in modern Western society can sometimes clash with biology, particularly when it comes to rest, recovery, and the close contact that newborn babies instinctively seek.

During the episode, I walk through a practical framework for a postpartum planning conversation. If you are preparing for birth, this is something I encourage you to discuss with your partner or support network before the baby arrives. Taking time to think about support, rest, feeding, emotional wellbeing, and household responsibilities can help protect the early weeks and reduce unnecessary stress.

I also explain why postpartum rest is not simply a luxury, but an important part of physical recovery. Giving the body time to heal after pregnancy and birth supports long-term health, including pelvic floor recovery and overall wellbeing.

The fourth trimester matters. When we understand the biology behind newborn behaviour and maternal recovery, we can approach this period with more realistic expectations and greater compassion for ourselves and our babies.

Episode 172 - Relationship Circles - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-ultimate-guide-to-being-a-birth-partner/id1541228817?i=1000752253453

Episode 149 - Postpartum Prolapse - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-ultimate-guide-to-being-a-birth-partner/id1541228817?i=1000706091689 

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...

In this episode, I’m joined by specialist postpartum midwife Lara for a thoughtful and honest conversation about what really happens after birth.

Recorded last summer, this discussion explores the often-overlooked realities of the postpartum period — not just physically, but emotionally, relationally and hormonally.

Together, we unpack:

• Why the fourth trimester deserves as much preparation as labour itself
• The importance of debriefing your birth experience
• The embodied transition women move through after birth
• The evolving role of the birth partner once the baby has arrived
• Why personalised, relational postpartum care matters
• How intentional postpartum planning can reduce tension and misunderstanding
• Understanding Matrescence — the developmental transition into motherhood.

Postpartum Planning is something I teach extensively and have dedicated the final chapter to in my book: 

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner - UK

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner - US

You can find Lara here - The Specialist Midwife 

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...

Preparing for birth is only half the story. What happens in the weeks after your baby arrives can be just as challenging — and often more overwhelming than labour itself. That’s why I teach the Relationship Circle in my antenatal classes, a practical way to map your support network, set boundaries, and clarify who does what.

At the heart of the circle is Mother + Partner + Baby, because postpartum is a shared journey. Around that centre, the circles show both parents’ families and friends, making it easy to see who will help, who needs boundaries, and where conversations are essential.

In this episode, we talk about mapping your network, having important discussions during pregnancy about visits, practical help, and boundaries, and navigating common challenges — like the now very common “no kissing the baby” rule. Planning this way helps reduce overwhelm, prevent conflict, and protect your recovery, so you can focus on what matters most: your new family.

Download Your Relationship Circles Postpartum Planning Workbook – 5-page printable PDF with templates, examples and questions to help you plan support and boundaries before baby arrives.

A practical tool to map your postpartum plan with confidence and clarity.

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...

Last week I talked about hypervigilance — what happens when a woman’s nervous system doesn’t feel safe in pregnancy, birth or postpartum.

This week, I explore one of the most evidence-based ways to reduce it: continuity of carer.

Continuity is not just about seeing the same service. It’s about being known. It’s about relationship. And decades of research show that when women receive continuity of midwifery care, outcomes improve across the board — including lower rates of preterm birth, fewer interventions, and better mental health outcomes.

But this conversation goes beyond statistics.

I look at why birth is relational and hormonal, why oxytocin depends on safety, and how familiarity in the room — whether from a midwife, a prepared partner, or a doula — can change the entire physiological landscape of labour.

I also ask the uncomfortable question: if continuity is so well evidenced, why is it still treated as optional?

Because safety in birth is often framed as machines and monitoring.

Yet the evidence is clear.

Safety is relationship.
Safety is familiarity.
Safety is being known.

And continuity changes everything.

Access the Discover Your North Star Course Here

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...

Hyper-vigilance is common in pregnancy, birth, and the postpartum period — but rarely named. In this episode, we explore what hyper-vigilance really is, why so many women experience it, and how it impacts mothers, partners, and babies.

We talk about nervous system safety, surveillance culture in maternity care, why reassurance often doesn’t help, and what truly supports healing — without pathologising women or telling them to 'just relax'.

This episode is for:

• Pregnant women who feel unable to switch off
• Women reflecting on births that looked fine but felt exhausting
• Mothers who can’t rest even when their baby sleeps
• Partners who want to support without fixing

In this episode we cover:

• What hyper-vigilance actually is (and what it isn’t)
• How pregnancy culture trains women to stay on alert
• The impact of hyper-vigilance on labour and oxytocin
• Why surrender in birth is a nervous system state, not a mindset
• Postpartum hyper-vigilance and sleep
• The effect on partners and relationships
• What genuinely helps nervous systems soften and repair
• Why this work matters before labour begins

Aimee and Tom's story - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-ultimate-guide-to-being-a-birth-partner/id1541228817?i=1000536622734

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...

This episode is a little different! 

I decided to answer a batch of listener questions that were shorter than the single-question episodes, and they fit perfectly with what’s coming up in the coming weeks. 

As I went through them, I noticed quite a few shared a common theme, and it reminded me just how important it is to dedicate some episodes specifically to postpartum experiences, because there is so much to unpack in those first days, weeks and months. 

I hope you enjoy this Q&A — it’s honest, practical, and grounded in real experiences from real listeners.

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...

In this episode, I’m joined by Fenja, who shares her freebirth story with honesty, depth, and clarity.

At a time when freebirth is being widely discussed — and often misunderstood — Fenja’s experience offers a grounded and much-needed perspective on what informed, conscious birth preparation can look like.

Fenja speaks openly about the extensive work she did during pregnancy: building physiological understanding, engaging in emotional and mental preparation, and developing a deep trust in her body and decision-making. Her choices were not made lightly. They were rooted in knowledge, reflection, and personal responsibility.

During her pregnancy, Fenja chose to hire a doula — not as someone to direct her birth, but as optional, woman-led support. When labour unfolded, she recognised that what she needed most was solitude and privacy, and she chose not to call her doula to the birth. This decision was hers alone, made in the moment, based on what felt right in her body and nervous system.

With recent media coverage and coroner’s reports attempting to suggest that doulas are influencing women to make unsafe decisions, Fenja’s story provides an important counterpoint. It clearly demonstrates that women are capable of making informed, autonomous decisions about their own births, and that doulas do not make decisions for women — they support them, when and if that support is wanted.

This episode is not about persuading anyone to freebirth.
It is about respecting women’s capacity to prepare deeply, think critically, and choose consciously.

Fenja’s story is thoughtful, grounded, and a deep reminder that birth choices cannot be reduced to headlines or assumptions.

You can find Fenja and her work at helikraft.co.uk

On Instagram @heilkraftosteopathy

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...

In this episode, I am exploring the hidden and often overlooked phenomenon of self-gaslighting—when women dismiss their own instincts, feelings, or inner knowing. Self-gaslighting can show up during pregnancy, birth, and early motherhood, quietly eroding confidence and disconnecting women from their power.

I will break down:

• What self-gaslighting is and how to recognise it
• Where it comes from and why it’s so common
• How it shows up in pregnancy, birth, and postpartum
• The emotional and physical costs of silencing yourself
• Practical tools to unlearn self-gaslighting and reclaim your confidence
• How birth partners can support women to trust themselves

This episode is about reclaiming your voice, your instincts, and your power—so you can navigate birth and motherhood with clarity, confidence, and self-trust.

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...

So much of birth preparation focuses on what to do — how to breathe, how to move, how to plan.

But none of that works if a woman doesn’t trust herself.

In this episode, I’m sharing my Ten Commandments of Birth and explaining why I believe inner work is the missing piece in so much birth preparation. I talk honestly about what I’ve seen shift in women since creating Discover Your North Star, and why no breathing technique can undo years of self-doubt.

This episode is about preparation that goes deeper than checklists and protocols — preparation that changes how a woman meets her birth, whatever path it takes.

✨ The Ten Commandments of Birth (PDF) - Download here
I’ve created this as a reflective, practical guide to support the inner work I talk about in this episode. It also includes a version for your birth partner. 
 

✨ Discover Your North Star - Online Course
If this episode resonates, this is where we go deeper.
The course is designed to help you build trust in yourself, prepare emotionally and mentally, and arrive at birth feeling grounded and aligned.

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...