The Ultimate Birth Partner Podcast

In this final episode of the year, I’m talking about something I see all the time in my work — but something women rarely feel able to admit out loud: that the desperate longing for a baby doesn’t always match how they feel once they are actually here.

After more than two decades supporting women through pregnancy, birth, and those early vulnerable weeks, I’ve heard this story in so many different forms. Today, I’m sharing the experience of a mum I met at a recent coffee morning — Emma — who gave me permission to talk about her journey.

Emma had two miscarriages before this pregnancy. She spent months just trying to get to the birth, believing that once her baby was safely here, everything would fall into place. But her birth ended up being long, heavily managed, and exhausting, leaving her feeling out of control. She also struggled with the after-effects of the pain relief she received. And when she finally held her baby, she didn’t feel the rush of emotion she’d imagined.

Her question to me — quiet, honest, and full of guilt — forms the heart of this episode.

Together, we unpack why so many women feel this way, why these feelings don’t mean anything is wrong, and how the emotional transition into motherhood is far more complex than most people prepare you for.

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...

In this episode, we dive deep into communication in the birth room — going beyond the widely taught BRAIN acronym. While BRAIN (Benefits, Risks, Alternatives, Intuition, Nothing) can be a helpful tool, waiting until labour to rely on it often means you’ve already been pulled into reactive decision-making. We discuss how true advocacy, sovereignty, and physiological birth are protected long before labour begins, through preparation, clear values, and embodied support.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why relying on BRAIN mid-labour can disrupt physiological birth.
• The limitations of checklists and reactive decision-making.
• How to prepare proactively with your partner to communicate effectively.
• The importance of embodied presence, clarity, and boundaries in the birth room.
• Practical ways your partner can advocate and protect your space and flow.
• How to anchor decisions in intuition and values rather than fear or pressure.

Action Steps for Listeners:

1. Create your own Birth Manifesto, tailored to your values and needs.
2. Practice clear, confident language with your partner for common birth scenarios.
3. Focus on presence, breath, and embodied trust to support physiological birth.
4. Prepare together for advocacy — your partner is your voice and protector when you need it most.

Resources:

• Discover Your North Star course for deeper preparation and tools for both you and your partner.

Key Takeaway:
True communication and advocacy in the birth room happen before labour, rooted in preparation, clarity, and trust in yourself. BRAIN can be a tool, but your sovereignty, instincts, and presence are far more powerful.

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...

In this episode, I sit down with my friend and fellow birth worker Jen Culley to talk about the reality that early labour is often overlooked in modern birth preparation.

We explore how early labour is represented on social media and how these portrayals can unintentionally shape women’s expectations in unhelpful ways. While short clips and reels can beautifully capture the moment a baby is born, they rarely show the quiet, powerful, and often lengthy process that leads up to it. Early labour can take hours — sometimes days — and it’s during this time that your mindset, support, and environment matter most.

Jen and I reflect on how, in the past, women would have grown up seeing birth unfold — as daughters, sisters, or friends. That shared experience built instinctive knowledge and trust in the body’s rhythms. Today, many of us enter labour without ever having witnessed it, and that loss of communal wisdom can make early labour feel confusing or even frightening.

We talk about how this lack of understanding can impact the rest of the birth, and why the way early labour begins often sets the tone for how the rest of labour unfolds. 

We also discuss what early labour support looks like today, especially the variation in NHS care, where women are often left to navigate this phase alone. Jen and I highlight how the presence of a doula can transform this stage — offering reassurance, practical guidance, and emotional steadiness when it’s needed most.

And finally, we dive deeply into the partner’s pivotal role — how they can support progress, protect space, and bring a sense of calm and safety that allows oxytocin to flow and labour to build naturally.

If you’ve ever wondered how to make early labour work for you, not against you — or if you simply want to understand this phase in a deeper, more realistic way — this episode is for you.

Contact Jen Culley - Instagram   Website   Memoirs of a Doula

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...

In this episode, I explore one of the most delicate and important questions in birth work: Is my lived experience more important than your future one?

So many women feel torn between wanting to share their birth story — whether it was empowering, challenging, or deeply traumatic — and wanting to protect others from fear or unrealistic expectations. But how do we find the balance? How do we share truthfully without limiting what’s possible for someone else?

This conversation unpacks the tension between past experience and future potential. Together, we look at how to reflect on your own birth, what to learn from it, and how to share your story responsibly — so that both honesty and hope can exist side by side.

 Key Takeaways:

• Your lived experience matters deeply — but it’s not a template for anyone else’s.
• Sharing your story can help others, but only when it’s framed with context and possibility.
• Negative stories can warn, but they shouldn’t define someone else’s limits.
• Positive stories bring hope, balance, and proof of what’s possible.
• Reflection is powerful: understanding your own birth can help you prepare differently next time.
• Protecting someone’s dream of a physiological birth doesn’t mean sugar-coating reality — it means giving space for hope and autonomy.

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...

In this episode, I talk about one of the most emotionally testing times in pregnancy — the waiting game.

When your due date is approaching, or has come and gone, it can feel as though the world is on pause while everyone keeps asking, 'Have you had the baby yet?' 

I explore what this waiting period can really feel like — the impatience, the frustration, and the mental tug of war that happens when your baby still isn’t ready to arrive.

I also talk about the pressure that can build when conversations about induction of labour start, and how those offers can influence how you feel about your body, your baby, and the timing of birth.

We chat about the idea that 42 weeks is often considered the outer limit of pregnancy — but how that’s not true for everyone. For many women, birth can unfold safely and beautifully beyond that point. Still, talking about 42 weeks helps shift the focus away from the growing trend of early induction at 39 weeks, which can interrupt the natural rhythm of both mother and baby.

I also share some of the incredible support available during this time from myself, Shellie Poulter, and Kemi Johnson, who all offer services to help women navigate these later stages of pregnancy with confidence and calm. I’ll include their links below.

If you’re currently waiting — or supporting someone who is — this episode will help you find reassurance, perspective, and patience in those final days. Your baby will come, and how you navigate this time matters just as much as the birth itself.

Mentioned in this episode:
✨ Shellie Poulter – Instagram Website
✨ Kemi Johnson – Instagram Website
✨ My Own Birth Support Services - Instagram

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...

Have you ever wondered why two women can walk into the same antenatal clinic and have completely different experiences? In this episode, I explore what I call the 'Sliding Doors' effect in maternity care — how the door you walk through, quite literally or metaphorically, can shape your confidence, choices, and ultimately your birth outcome.

I unpack how seemingly small differences in care — the tone of a conversation, the attentiveness of a practitioner, the questions asked — can either empower you or leave you questioning your instincts. 

This episode is a deep dive into how chance encounters at antenatal appointments can ripple through an entire pregnancy and birth journey.

You’ll hear about:

• How the same clinic can feel like two entirely different worlds
• Why one interaction can build confidence while another can create doubt
• The difference between being truly heard versus just being managed
• Strategies for preparing yourself emotionally for whatever door you walk through

Listener reflection:
Which door did you walk through during your pregnancy — and how did it shape your story?

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...

In this episode of The Ultimate Birth Partner Podcast, I am exploring the Japanese art of kintsugi — repairing broken pottery with gold — as a powerful metaphor for healing after a difficult or traumatic birth.

Instead of hiding the cracks, kintsugi honours them, turning them into the most beautiful part of the story. And birth can be the same. Your previous experience, however painful, does not make you broken. It makes you wiser, clearer, and stronger as you prepare for your next birth.

Through real stories of women she has supported, Sallyann shares how birth trauma can become a source of insight, boundaries, and courage — and how you can approach your next birth as a reclamation, not a repeat.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

✨ Why minimising or dismissing birth trauma can be damaging
✨ How your scars and cracks can actually become your source of strength
✨ Reflection prompts to help you prepare for your next birth
✨ Why you are not starting over, but starting stronger

Resources & Links

💛 Join Discover Your North Star — my course for preparing mentally, emotionally, and spiritually for birth → https://payhip.com/b/8PSYi
💛 Follow me on Instagram for daily insights and support → https://www.instagram.com/theultimatebirthpartner/

Share the Love

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend or leave a review on your favourite podcast platform. Every share helps more women discover that they are not broken — they are whole, and capable of creating their own kintsugi birth.

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...

The Four Tendencies in Birth: How Knowing Yourself Shapes Your Experience

In this episode of The Ultimate Birth Partner Podcast, I explore how Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies framework can help women, partners, and birth professionals better understand how we respond to expectations — and why that matters so much in pregnancy and birth.

I share real-life examples of how each Tendency (Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, Rebel) might prepare for birth, how they may respond in the moment, and the unique challenges or strengths they bring into the birth room.

You’ll hear:
✨ Why self-awareness is one of the most powerful tools you can take into labour
✨ How partners can better support by recognising their own style and their loved one’s needs
✨ Why birth professionals and doulas benefit from tailoring their approach depending on the woman or family they’re working with
✨ What to do if you don’t know your care provider’s Tendency — and how to get your point across clearly in the moment
✨ How to express your own Tendency in your Birth Manifesto® so your values, priorities, and boundaries are unmistakably clear

This episode is full of stories, practical strategies, and even scripts you can use to explain yourself to others, helping you strengthen your inner compass and stay aligned with what matters most.

Resources & Links:

• Learn more about creating your Birth Manifesto® in my Discover Your North Star course - https://payhip.com/b/8PSYi
• Gretchen Rubins The Four Tendencies Quiz - https://gretchenrubin.com/quiz/the-four-tendencies-quiz/
• If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend or leave a review — it makes such a difference

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...

In this episode, I’m speaking openly about the ongoing debate around paracetamol (Tylenol), especially its use during pregnancy and in young children.

Headlines and politics — including Donald Trump jumping on a microphone with bold claims — have left many people either dismissing concerns outright or panicking. But if we throw the baby out with the bathwater, we risk missing the real science that deserves our attention.

I explore:

• How paracetamol impacts the body: glutathione depletion, mitochondrial stress, DNA and immune function.
• The role of genetics (like MTHFR variants) in how drugs are processed.
• Why giving babies paracetamol before vaccination may blunt their immune response.
• The connection between gut health, antibiotics, C-sections, and long-term wellbeing.
• Practical ways to make more thoughtful choices.

Studies & Resources:

• Paracetamol and the Developing Brain (PMC)
• Impact of intrapartum antibiotics and C-section on infant gut microbiome.
• Early-life Antibiotics and Risk of ADHD (PMC)
• C-section, Formula Feeding, and Infant Gut Microbiome (Frontiers)
• Maternal Antibiotic Prophylaxis During C-section and Infant Gut Microbiome (PMC)
• Paracetamol, Oxidative Stress, and Glutathione (PMC)
• Effect of prophylactic paracetamol administration at time of infant vaccination on febrile reactions and antibody responses.

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...

Every birth has a moment that feels impossible. For many women, it comes right before the pushing stage — a sudden rush of overwhelm, doubt, or fear. This is what I call 'The Wobble'.

In this episode of The Ultimate Birth Partner Podcast, I’m diving deep into this essential topic. You’ll learn:

• What the Wobble really is — why it happens, when it usually shows up, and how to recognise it
• Why it’s not a crisis, but a turning point in labour
• What partners can do in the moment to support her with calm, strength, and reassurance
• The words and actions that help most (and the ones to avoid)
• How to protect the birth space so she feels safe, supported, and able to move through it

The Wobble can sound like:

* 'I can’t do this anymore'.

* 'Something’s wrong'.

* 'I want to stop'.

But instead of signalling failure, these words often mean she’s closer than ever to meeting her baby. With the right support, the wobble passes — and she finds her strength again.

If you’re a birth partner, this episode is also for you. Your steady presence in this moment can make all the difference.

Resources & Links Mentioned in This Episode

• Download the Wobble Cheat Sheet for your partner: Here
• Explore my Discover Your North Star course for tools and strategies to prepare for birth: Here
• Follow me on Instagram for more tips and resources: Here

💌 If you found this episode helpful, please share it with a friend or partner who’s preparing for birth. And don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode.

Send me a message

If you want to access any of my free resources click here:-https://stan.store/sallyannberesford

If you want to learn more about my Discover Your North Star Course then read more here:- https://stan.store/sallyannberesford/p/discover-your-north-star-

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner  - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpar...