The UNcivilized Podcast with Traver Boehm

What happens when your body becomes the battleground — and the only thing keeping you alive is a fraction of 1% that refuses to quit?

Kayla Nelson spent years navigating chronic Lyme disease, tick-borne illness, and toxic mold while the Western medical system handed her nothing but dead ends. She lost her health, her finances, and almost everything else. What brought her back wasn't what the Western model had to offer. It was a radical treatment called Bee Venom Therapy — and something deeper she can only describe as soul.

We get into the real mechanics of Bee Venom Therapy — what it is, how it works, and what it felt like the first time she stung herself with a live bee. We talk about what it means when your soul leaves the building, and how you know it's time to find your way back.

From there, we dig into soul loss — not as a concept, but as something happening collectively right now across communities and culture. We talk about predatory energy — what it is, how it operates, and why most people aren't willing to name it. And we talk about the two responses most of us default to when we encounter it: freeze and fawn.

Kayla speaks from a rare lens — she's not coming from a strictly biological framework or a strictly spiritual one. She moves between the two with precision, and this conversation reflects that. There's real medicine in this one.

If something in this conversation moved you, share it with someone who needs it. 

And men — if you've been looking for structure, depth, and a community that does this work for real, come join us in The UNcivilized Nation –– https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenation

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Connect with Kayla: https://www.sagenourishment.com

Connect with Traver: 

Website — https://www.manuncivilized.com 

Substack — https://traverboehm.substack.com 

Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm 

Get my books –– https://www.manuncivilized.com/books 

Mentioned in This Episode: 

Bayo Akomolafe on The UNcivilized Podcast — https://open.spotify.com/episode/0zZLZ9LYyfup07GaOykpRq 

Francis Weller on The UNcivilized Podcast — https://open.spotify.com/episode/4U0NDtdOv5bN1WcZUoUhSX

Go Deeper: 

Two Predators — https://www.manuncivilized.com/blog/two-predators

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction & The Desk That Connects Them

00:29 Falling Mysteriously Ill: The Beginning of Kayla's Journey

03:07 What Kept Her Going When Everything Was Falling Apart

08:50 What Is Bee Venom Therapy? (And How It Actually Works)

15:26 5,000 Stings Over 4 Years — The Numbers

17:30 The First Sting and the Unexpected Calm

21:09 Defining the Soul — A Felt Sense, Not a Concept

25:26 "Your Soul Has Left the Building" — Traver's Story

27:17 Soul Loss and the Collective Reckoning

30:34 Building a 200-Year Life

31:10 How to Actually Start: Sitting With Nature

39:24 Collective Awakening vs. Collective Tension

41:47 The Predator — From Biology to Mythology

50:14 Freeze and Fawn: The Two Responses We're Waking Up Out Of

54:53 The Duality of Predatory Energy in Men

58:11 Soul as the Antidote to the Predator

1:01:45 Wrap-up & Where to find Kayla

I found Coral Osborne through a Substack piece she wrote titled "I Hired a Male Escort" — and I'll be honest, the title got me. But it was what she unpacked inside it that made me want to get her on the show. Coral spent years as a closeted sex worker, and what she found in those rooms wasn't what most people assume. Men showed up without their masks on. There were clear boundaries. And the connection — strange as it sounds — was often more honest than anything she found in conventional dating.

Then she hired a male escort. Not to collect an experience, but to find out what would happen if she stopped performing and just received. What came up surprised her — and became the essay that brought her to this show.

Coral is a sexologist and intimacy coach who works with men at the intersection of identity, desire, and shadow. This conversation goes deep into the psychology of fantasy, the difference between what turns you on and what you actually want, and why so many men have gone completely numb — not just sexually, but in every area of their lives.

We also get into why less than 14% of therapists in North America have any sexuality training, what your darkest fantasy actually says about you, and why the men who say "I don't really have fantasies" are the ones who can't hold a relationship past the two-year mark.

If you've ever wondered what your sex life is actually telling you about yourself — this one's for you.

Join The UNcivilized Nation: https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenation

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Read Coral's essays: 

Part 1: https://substack.com/@coralosborne/p-190840262 

Part 2: https://substack.com/@coralosborne/p-190843310

Connect with Coral: 

Website: https://coralosborne.com 

Substack: https://substack.com/@coralosborne 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunrealcoralosborne/

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Connect with Traver: 

Website: https://www.manuncivilized.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm/

Get my books: https://www.manuncivilized.com/books

Substack: https://traverboehm.substack.com

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction — Who Is Coral Osborne?

02:58 From Sex Worker to Sexologist: How She Got Here

06:01 Why She Hired a Male Escort (And What She Learned)

11:44 What Men Actually Show Up As Behind Closed Doors

17:56 Sex Is Shadow Work

23:59 Fantasy vs. Desire — The Distinction That Changes Everything

31:51 Your Fantasies Are a Map to Your Soul

40:06 Why Therapists Are Getting This Wrong

43:35 The Numbing Out Epidemic: When Men Lose Access to Eros

55:44 Wrap up & Where to find Coral

Most men were told to pick a side. And most men have spent their whole lives half of what they could be because of it.

Josh Tyler is a former professional MMA fighter, survival instructor, and the founder of Savage Gentleman. He believes the men who figure out how to hold both don't just become more capable — they become more of what they actually are.

In this episode, we get into what men have lost by compartmentalizing their lives. We talk about why the way you roll on the mat is the same way you carve wood, raise your kids, and move through the world — and how a lot of men never connect those dots. We also get into confidence — how it's actually built, why shortcuts don't actually build anything, and what it actually looks like to earn it.

We cover the three male archetypes showing up right now, including the one that's quietly becoming the most common. And we close talking about power — what it actually is, why so many men feel like they don't have any, and why that's an illusion that experience can shatter.

If you've been doing the things but not becoming anything — this one's for you.

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Join The UNcivilized Nation: https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenation 

Connect with Me: 

Instagram: @traverboehm 

Get my books: https://www.manuncivilized.com/books

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Connect with Josh: 

savagegentleman.com 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joshtylermma/ 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/savagegentlemanofficial/

Chapter List

00:00 Introduction to Josh Tyler and Savage Gentlemen

04:20 The Balance of Savage and Gentleman

15:38 Depth and Nuance in Personal Development

23:44 Life Lessons from Martial Arts and Survival Skills

26:48 Cultural Shifts: From Meaningful Actions to Checkboxes

27:48 The Journey Over the Destination: Embracing the Process

32:46 The Riff on Confidence

39:13 Male Archetypes: 19050s Marlboro Man, The Sensitive New Age Guy & The Collapsed Male

40:44 Finding Your Path: Beyond Jiu-Jitsu and Bushcraft

46:29 The Importance of Getting Dirty: Embracing Challenges

48:00 Peak Experiences and Rites of Passage

50:02 Navigating Corporate Worlds and Personal Validation

53:24 Power & The Tension of Opposites

59:12 Navigating Tension and Finding Balance

01:03:38 The Illusion of Powerlessness and Perspective

Most men were never actually initiated into manhood. Nobody stood on the other side and said — you're different now, here's what that means, here's what we expect from you. Most of us just got older. And thus, many men are still running the same adolescent software in a grown man's body.

Rites of passage leader Jeddy Azuma is back on the podcast, and this conversation goes deep fast. Jeddy works with men on rites of passage and mature masculine leadership — he's guided over 100 men through wilderness fasts, and he's seen what happens when a man actually crosses a threshold versus when he just... keeps going through the motions. If you missed his first appearance, check it out — link in the show notes.

In this episode, we get into what mature masculinity actually looks like. We talk about the difference between initiation and rites of passage, what it means to hold the dynamic tension of a full life without losing your center, and why the harshest voice in your head isn't motivation — it's immaturity wearing the mask of high performance.

We also talk about the inner critic — how it forms, how it served you, and how to replace it without losing the standard it held you to. That part of the conversation hit me. Because most men don't question that voice. It's been there so long it just sounds like truth.

Jeddy also shares what four days alone in the wilderness — no food, no shelter, no distraction — actually does to a man. What comes up. What gets left behind. And what the real work is when he comes home.

We close talking about where community is headed — why Jeddy believes this large-scale civilization experiment is already in collapse, and why the future belongs to smaller, trust-based communities built around shared values.

If you've ever felt like something essential got skipped in how you became a man — this one's for you.

Join The UNcivilized Nation: https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenation

Connect with Me: Instagram: @traverboehm

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Get my books: https://www.manuncivilized.com/books

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Connect with Jeddy: Instagram: @jeddyazuma 

Missed Jeddy's first appearance on the podcast?

Check it out here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4qJjqeUgWjKUnGX1nxir9d?si=yMrreCykRay5dUsiuXdRCA

Chapter List 

00:00 The Journey of Masculine Leadership

01:03 Defining Immature Masculinity

04:38 Holding Dynamic Tension

10:48 The Inner Dialogue of Men

11:58 The Importance of Initiation

16:08 Rites of Passage vs. Initiation

18:31 Rites of Passage & Initiation

25:53 The Adolescent Male Experience

27:55 What's the Point?

30:24 The Wilderness Rite of Passage Process

33:31 Transformation Through Initiation

35:59 Connecting to the Soul

42:57 Community and the Need for Trust

48:20 The Future of Community Living

If you've read 28 Days in Darkness or followed my journey into the dark rooms, you've heard her name. Arpita Kshama Devi was the guide on the other side of the door — for my first retreat in 2016, and again this past year when I went back in for 49 days. I've wanted to get her on the mic for years and we finally made it happen.

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Arpita is a meditation teacher, dark retreat guide, yoga teacher trainer, and PhD researcher with 15+ years of guiding people through some of the most intense inner work available. She's been in my life for a decade, and this conversation goes exactly as deep as you'd expect.

We talk about what it actually means to enter the dark, what she feels the moment she walks someone into a retreat, and why the spiritual path was never supposed to be easy — no matter what the wellness industry is selling you. We also get into the questions most practitioners won't touch: the integration of shadow, the erotic, and the parts of ourselves we've quietly exiled for the sake of looking like we have it together.

She's one of the most fascinating humans I know. This one's been a long time coming.

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Join The UNcivilized Nation — a brotherhood of men doing the work: https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenation

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Get my books — including 28 Days in Darkness: https://www.manuncivilized.com/books

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Learn more about Arpita and her retreats: https://loveevolveawaken.com Instagram: @love.evolve.awaken.yoga

I've been off the mic for eight months. Here's where I've been — and where we're going.

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After 49 days alone in a pitch-black room in Tuscany last year, I came out a different man. Not better, not worse — different. And I knew I couldn't keep having the same conversations I'd been having for the last five years.

In this episode, I'm sharing three ideas that came out of the dark — lenses I'm now using to navigate everything. 

OLSLAI — one life, soul led, all in. 

Dark adapted eyes — learning to see through the veil of your life while it's happening, not just in hindsight. 

And a third concept you can hear about in this episode that's going to help shape where this show goes from here.

This is the relaunch. Same UNcivilized mission. Deeper water.

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Want more conversations like this? 

Join me and a brotherhood of men doing the real work inside The UNcivilized Nation: https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenation

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Referenced in this episode: 

Stephen Jenkinson on The UNcivilized Podcast: https://youtu.be/WnBp_AYNScQ

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Get my books: https://www.manuncivilized.com/books

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Find me here: 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TraverBoehm 

Substack: https://traverboehm.substack.com

ManUNcivilized.com 

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#UNcivilized #BeMoreMan #OLSLAI #DarkAdaptedEyes #TheUNcivilizedPodcast #TraverBoehm #TheUNcivilizedNation

Hey folks, here is an early morning guided meditation from you before I take a hiatus from the podcast for a few weeks to reintegrate from my dark retreat.

I wanted to share this with you while I still feel I have a foot in the other world. Find a comfy spot, close your eyes, and join me as we drop down into your heart and the depth of your being.

We’ll be back late September with more incredible episodes for you.

Please share this with one person in your life as well!

Cheers,

Traver

Want to Go Deeper?

The UNcivilized Meditation Course — Practical tools to drop into your body, regulate your nervous system, and reconnect with your true self:

The UNcivilized Meditation Course

Man UNcivilized — The book that started the movement and continues to redefine masculinity:

Get Man UNcivilized by Traver Boehm

28 Days in Darkness — Traver’s latest book on surrendering to the unknown and reclaiming your life:

Get 28 Days in Darkness

Stephen Jenkinson is a treasure, he’s also a three time Uncivilized Podcast guest, now speaking to us from a difficult place. Usually the man sitting with the dying, he’s now sitting with death himself.

In this conversation I wanted to ask Stephen all of the no bullshit questions I could, giving him no softballs and going straight into the heart of the matter. As he always does, he took my questions and made both poetry and wisdom out of them.

Truth be told, I had to breathe my way through this interview so as not to break down in tears myself. It’s raw and it’s real.

This episode is about life, sickness, and facing death in an UNcivilized manner

Cheers,

Traver

This is Stephen Jenkinson’s fourth time joining us on The UNcivilized Podcast—and each time, he leaves a mark. 

If this conversation stirred something in you, go deeper with his past episodes:

How to Navigate Grief and Die Wise » 

Grief, Mystery, and Generational Fever Dreams » 

There’s No Refund for Real Life with Stephen Jenkinson & Kimberly Ann Johnson »

Kati Bird is the very first person to teach me about Shibari, the Japanese bondage system. She now travels the world leading workshops, working with couples and individuals and has zero apologies about a life lived way outside the box.

We sit down and dive right into how Kati went from being a wilderness guide to becoming one of the most sought after Shibari teachers in the world. How she manages a life on the road and most importantly about the incredible ways she teaches people to connect deeply to themselves, navigate their traumas, and express themselves in ways they never thought possible, all with rope.

This episode is about trust, human connection, and living a truly UNcivilized life.

Cheers,

Traver

Connect with Kati:

Learn more about Kati’s work, upcoming events, and travels here:

Website — ShibariUnravelled.com

Instagram — @becoming_unravelled

Back for his second round on The UNcivilized Podcast, the man who trains Special Forces Operators on how to use chaos to their advantage and tap into their instinct and intuition. Don’t worry, his work is applicable to all — even the school children he teaches his programs to.

Angus Fletcher is the author of Primal Intelligence and a friend of ours at UNcivilized. In this conversation we dive into the future with AI, how to be harder to kill, and why having the ability to rapidly create a plan is the difference maker whether you’re hunting down an enemy, trying to grow your company to seven figures, or get along with your partner.

This is a fast paced episode filled with gems, so hang on to your hat!

Cheers,

Traver

For more from Angus, visit his websites at AngusFletcher.co and OperationHuman.com. You can also order his book, Primal Intelligence: You Are Smarter Than You Know, now available through Amazon and Penguin Random House.

To hear more from Angus, check out his first appearance on The UNcivilized Podcast, titled “How Story Thinking is the Operating System of the Brain”, available on Spotify and on the UNcivilized blog.