Therapy Brothers

Caller David: Struggling with some perfectionism, David races to build a life of recovery, integrity, and family - only to discover the true key to success is embracing his own worth and value despite his mistakes.

David was trying to be perfect, strive for success, and make sure his family was happy. He knew he was on a path to recovery, to becoming an honest man and saving what he had, but he was struggling with the pressure he put on himself to be perfect. With the help of Brannon and Tyler, David was able to understand that he needed to be motivated by something other than fear of losing everything, and to embrace the idea that he is still capable of growth and that he is loved regardless of his mistakes.

// SUBMIT A QUESTION + CALL IN //

We'd love to answer questions you have about addiction, trauma, recovery, relationships, and healing. Ask Here: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.therapybros.com/call-in-and-ask-a-question/⁠⁠⁠

// Tyler Patrick LMFT | "The Wandering Therapist" //

// Brannon Patrick LCSW | "The Expert" //

// COURSES //

// EVENTS //

// Reclaim Your Heart //

Join our new community for quality exclusive content, incredible courses, and real connection: ⁠https://join.reclaimyourheart.com/

The Brothers Discuss: the power of God's grace, challenging the protagonist to question their long-held beliefs about an all-punishing, transactional God in order to break free from their shame-filled cycle of addiction.

Often people have a distorted view of God that leads to feelings of shame and disconnection instead of love and peace. This distorted view can start at a young age through a rigid family system, or a church culture that teaches principles but doesn't explain the why behind them. This often leads to a transactional model of God, where blessings are contingent upon obedience, and sex is seen as sinful. However, grace is actually freely given and God loves us no matter what we do. To truly accept this, it's important to stop and question our beliefs of who God is instead of just believing what we've been taught.

"It is okay for us to actually be curious about our relationship with God and allow us to actually seek to understand the true nature of love, because that's ultimately who God is."

Here's what the brothers cover:

1. Is it possible that the way I perceive God is actually causing me more harm than good?

2. How can understanding the concept of grace help us to break free from cycles of shame and addiction?

3. What is the impact of messaging around sex in religious cultures on our understanding of our own sexuality?

// SUBMIT A QUESTION + CALL IN //

We'd love to answer questions you have about addiction, trauma, recovery, relationships, and healing. Ask Here: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.therapybros.com/call-in-and-ask-a-question/⁠⁠⁠

// Tyler Patrick LMFT | "The Wandering Therapist" //

// Brannon Patrick LCSW | "The Expert" //

// COURSES //

// EVENTS //

// Reclaim Your Heart //

Join our new community for quality exclusive content, incredible courses, and real connection: ⁠https://join.reclaimyourheart.com/

Caller Jay: grew up in Arizona in a family of 10 with a father who had a sexual addiction and masked it by using his mother's credibility. Despite thinking he had a normal childhood, Jay began to act out with porn and lust and kept it a secret from his wife. With therapy, Jay and his wife stayed together and his sister opened up about her and Jay's experience of being molested by their father. Jay and his nine siblings then took action to remove their mother and two brothers from the home. Despite his desire for revenge, Jay wants to heal himself and his family, protect those around his father, and pursue both legal and spiritual avenues for justice. He takes ownership of his recovery and navigates the pain and anguish of his trauma.

He is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He is navigating a difficult relationship with his father and working to protect his siblings from further abuse.

“I want to heal my family, heal myself, try not to reflect the trauma of my childhood on my own kids and work through my trauma.”

// SUBMIT A QUESTION + CALL IN //

We'd love to answer questions you have about addiction, trauma, recovery, relationships, and healing. Ask Here: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.therapybros.com/call-in-and-ask-a-question/⁠⁠⁠

// Tyler Patrick LMFT | "The Wandering Therapist" //

// Brannon Patrick LCSW | "The Expert" //

// COURSES //

// EVENTS //

// Reclaim Your Heart //

Join our new community for quality exclusive content, incredible courses, and real connection: ⁠https://join.reclaimyourheart.com/

Caller Kat's Question: "My husband has been in recovery from porn addiction for about 4 years now. His addictive behavior has affected me and our relationship in a number of ways over our 12 years together — he has lied, kept secrets, hidden files, and items, given partial disclosures, and attempted to gaslight me many times, so that for the first few years I took on the role of “porn police”, searching his devices and taking charge of accountability.

He has also admitted in the past that porn use has caused him to feel less attracted to me and less motivated to initiate healthy sex with me. He also struggles to perform when we do have sex — he gets nervous and self-conscious and needs me to reassure him that I really desire him and am excited to be intimate with him. But years of him taking me for granted, not putting effort into learning and honoring how I enjoy sex, and letting me take on so much responsibility for trying to find healthy intimacy in our marriage have chipped away at my desire and excitement. It’s such a catch-22 — after all the broken trust and betrayal, he truly wants intimacy with me but needs me to perform excitement and desire in order to rebuild our sex life.

We’ve made amazing progress over the last couple of years. I feel like we have an intellectual understanding of our challenges and can safely connect to the emotions involved, but when we get in bed together it just all disappears and our brains and bodies are not on the same wavelength. I feel like there are layers of pain, anger, and frustration inside me that are blocking my progress…but it’s difficult to connect with them, I tend to feel numb and hopeless instead. It also feels unfair that I have to be his source of confidence when it comes to sex when my trust and confidence have been so shaken by his addiction and I’ve moved through that with my own self-work.

Ideally, I’d love to work on these things WHILE we take baby steps to get back to healthy sexual connection — not having sex for months while we “work on healing” has only compounded the nervousness and lack of desire in the past. Can you help us find the right steps to move forward without getting caught in this responsive desire trap again and again?"

// SUBMIT A QUESTION + CALL IN //

We'd love to answer questions you have about addiction, trauma, recovery, relationships, and healing. Ask Here: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.therapybros.com/call-in-and-ask-a-question/⁠⁠⁠

// Tyler Patrick LMFT | "The Wandering Therapist" //

// Brannon Patrick LCSW | "The Expert" //

// COURSES //

// EVENTS //

// Reclaim Your Heart //

Join our new community for quality exclusive content, incredible courses, and real connection: ⁠https://join.reclaimyourheart.com/

Caller Ashley's Question: "How can you approach recovery/continued commitment or deal with your addict's extramarital attraction in a scenario where they don't have those sexual feelings/attraction to you? I got married not knowing about my spouse's physical sexual preferences... he was not open about his preferences/attraction which is mainly towards people/types that are very different from me. The assumptions I made that I was his "type" (assumptions he fostered dishonestly) were blown apart by what I found on our D-Day and I struggle to want to continue in a relationship where the physical attraction is one-sided and I feel like a clown trying to be intimate. It's very hard to do the "thank you for staying present with me" when I know I can never offer even a sliver to him of what the other noticeable woman could. I know he loves me. We were best friends. I think he just wanted someone who was very into him and who wanted similar life goals, but the physical attraction was/is a really important aspect to me. My first marriage fell apart from my ex's porn use and infidelity after my body changed from two pregnancies and treatment for breast cancer in my 20s. I just... I struggle to even want to wake up in the morning knowing that this is supposed to be my next fifty years and that I'll never have a relationship with someone who really wanted me. What trust is there to build? The trust that he'll focus his sexual energy on me? I don't want focus from someone who isn't attracted to me. That feels humiliating. Horrifying."

// SUBMIT A QUESTION + CALL IN //

We'd love to answer questions you have about addiction, trauma, recovery, relationships, and healing. Ask Here: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.therapybros.com/call-in-and-ask-a-question/⁠⁠⁠

// Tyler Patrick LMFT | "The Wandering Therapist" //

// Brannon Patrick LCSW | "The Expert" //

// COURSES //

// EVENTS //

// Reclaim Your Heart //

Join our new community for quality exclusive content, incredible courses, and real connection: ⁠https://join.reclaimyourheart.com/

Caller David: had struggled with an addiction to pornography since he was seven. After years of shame and guilt, he finally hit a breaking point and decided to open up to his wife about his addiction and the emotional affair he had. He also started going to therapy, talking to his pastor, and attending a Twelve Step program to learn more about addiction and recovery. Through all of this, he began to empathize with his wife and find the strength to work through his addiction and trauma. He now has a new found determination to make different choices and build meaningful relationships with the people he loves.

"The issue is that I need to actually go figure out how to address that itch of the four to five year old child in a way that's non sexual or non consuming of another person."

In this episode:

1. How to find worth in and of yourself, instead of looking for validation from other people.

2. How to address childhood trauma, and how it affects your addiction.

3. Understanding childhood trauma and how it affects your relationships today.

// SUBMIT A QUESTION + CALL IN //

We'd love to answer questions you have about addiction, trauma, recovery, relationships, and healing. Ask Here: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.therapybros.com/call-in-and-ask-a-question/⁠⁠⁠

// Tyler Patrick LMFT | "The Wandering Therapist" //

// Brannon Patrick LCSW | "The Expert" //

// COURSES //

// EVENTS //

// Reclaim Your Heart //

Join our new community for quality exclusive content, incredible courses, and real connection: ⁠https://join.reclaimyourheart.com/

Caller Chadwick: Chadwick is a common law spouse of 6 years who has recently started formal therapy to address his childhood trauma, addiction, and relationship issues. He is passionate about recovery and rebuilding trust in his relationship.

"The only measuring stick is your heart putting your effort in, and if you gave it today, you win today."

After six years of a seemingly perfect relationship, Chadwick discovers his and his partner's hidden childhood traumas and addictions and must now decide if he can forgive himself and her and make changes to save their relationship.

In this episode:

1. The Impact of Childhood and Teenage Trauma on Adult Relationships

2. How Pornography and Addiction Impact Intimacy and Connection

3. Navigating Mental Health Challenges in yourself and a spouse

// SUBMIT A QUESTION + CALL IN //

We'd love to answer questions you have about addiction, trauma, recovery, relationships, and healing. Ask Here: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.therapybros.com/call-in-and-ask-a-question/⁠⁠⁠

// Tyler Patrick LMFT | "The Wandering Therapist" //

// Brannon Patrick LCSW | "The Expert" //

// COURSES //

// EVENTS //

// Reclaim Your Heart //

Join our new community for quality exclusive content, incredible courses, and real connection: ⁠https://join.reclaimyourheart.com/

Caller Moises: has been struggling to find purpose and passion in life, numbing his feelings to survive. Through talking with Tyler and Brannon, he learned how to sit with fear and discomfort, and understand that failure is part of the process.

"The road to success is full of failures. Take away the anesthetic and allow yourself to go through the withdrawals, feel the pain, and step into it - there's some peace, there's some light, there's some answers to your purpose and passion in your life on the other side."

"Love is vulnerability."

In this episode:

1. How can I develop a growth mindset?

2. How can we overcome our fear of failure to find purpose and passion in our lives?

3. What is the process of getting to know our "protective parts" and the power of vulnerability in recovery?

We'd love to answer questions you have about addiction, trauma, recovery, relationships, and healing. Ask Here: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.therapybros.com/call-in-and-ask-a-question/⁠⁠⁠

// Tyler Patrick LMFT | "The Wandering Therapist" //

// Brannon Patrick LCSW | "The Expert" //

// COURSES //

// EVENTS //

// Reclaim Your Heart //

Join our new community for quality exclusive content, incredible courses, and real connection: ⁠https://join.reclaimyourheart.com/

Caller Austin: is a former only child and grandchild who has experienced the pressure of performing for his family in order to receive love. He is now trying to find a balance between undersharing and oversharing with his fiancee in order to create trust, safety, and a healthy relationship.

"It's more important to be trusted than to be loved. And what that's really saying is that I can't really fully be loved unless I'm seen. And the way that I'm seen is by being honest and being transparent and being authentic with who I am."

Honesty, transparency and fidelity in relationships are essential components for a healthy connection. But for many, navigating the line between undersharing and oversharing can be a difficult task. Austin experienced this in his own relationship, struggling to find a balance between demonstrating his integrity and not retriggering his fiancee. In this article, we'll explore the difficult challenge of finding a definitive answer to this dilemma and how Austin has managed to resolve it.

In this episode:

1. What is the line between undersharing and oversharing in relationships?

2. How can couples build trust and maintain fidelity in their relationship?

3. What are the benefits of being attentive rather than judgmental of our own behaviors?

// SUBMIT A QUESTION + CALL IN //

We'd love to answer questions you have about addiction, trauma, recovery, relationships, and healing. Ask Here: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.therapybros.com/call-in-and-ask-a-question/⁠⁠⁠

// Tyler Patrick LMFT | "The Wandering Therapist" //

// Brannon Patrick LCSW | "The Expert" //

// COURSES //

// EVENTS //

// Reclaim Your Heart //

Join our new community for quality exclusive content, incredible courses, and real connection: ⁠https://join.reclaimyourheart.com/

Caller Steve: is a 35 year old man in a committed relationship with his fiance. He is working to reclaim his true self and heal from the trauma of his past, including his previous marriage and his relationship with his parents.

"The very things that you were using to protect yourself as a child are actually the exact things that are destroying your current relationship."

Steve is struggling in his relationships due to his addiction and lies he has told in the past. He has come to the realization that he has been hiding from his true self in order to protect himself from being hurt. He experienced trauma in his childhood from his father's depression and lack of emotional connection. As a result, he has been trying to motivate himself by hiding his true self and is now realizing that this is what is destroying his current relationship. In order to heal and become aware of the wound, Steve is now trying to be more conscious and vulnerable.

In this episode:

1. How can reclaiming one's true self lead to healthier relationships?

2. How to not repeat the same mistakes in a new relationship?

3. How can understanding one's childhood traumas help improve relationships in adulthood?

// SUBMIT A QUESTION + CALL IN //

We'd love to answer questions you have about addiction, trauma, recovery, relationships, and healing. Ask Here: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.therapybros.com/call-in-and-ask-a-question/⁠⁠⁠

// Tyler Patrick LMFT | "The Wandering Therapist" //

// Brannon Patrick LCSW | "The Expert" //

// COURSES //

// EVENTS //

// Reclaim Your Heart //

Join our new community for quality exclusive content, incredible courses, and real connection: ⁠https://join.reclaimyourheart.com/