What if the most dangerous thing we can do around suicide isn't talking about it — but refusing to?
September is Suicide Awareness Month, and Jamie and Blake are kicking it off with someone they describe as the most accessible voice on this topic they've ever encountered: Jen Butler — real talk writer, comedian, and author of Volume Control — who has spent years refusing to let shame keep this conversation small. Both Blake and Jamie share openly from their own stories in this episode. Blake attempted suicide at 17. Jamie has experienced passive suicidality. Jen has had multiple attempts, multiple psych ward stays, and years of addiction underneath it all. And yet somehow this episode is also funny. Warm. Honest in a way that makes you feel less alone rather than more afraid.
Jen traces her story from a heartbreak at 14 in a Burger King parking lot, to a cancer diagnosis at 22 and the narcotic pain pills that followed, to two psych ward stints, breast implant illness, disordered eating, and finally — sobriety, courtesy of a poet with a man bun. She talks about what it took to write Volume Control — a choose-your-own-emotional-regulation guidebook she built over six years by writing letters to her future self from her darkest places — and previews her next book, Stay, which publishers keep loving and refusing at the same time, because the word suicide makes everyone nervous. The irony is not lost on her.
If you've ever had the thought that you just didn't want to be here anymore — or you love someone who has — this episode will give you language, permission, and a little bit of relief.
If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988.
Why not talking about suicide is the most dangerous thing we can do — not the other way around
How suicidality is really just one expression of a universal human instinct: discomfort is loud, we want comfort
Why a suicide attempt doesn't automatically lead to a shift — and what actually has to change
What "the volume turned up on life" means and why some people feel everything louder than others
How Jen built Volume Control — six years of letters to her future self, organized by emotional state(00:00) Cold open: the reason I got sober was a poet with a man bun
(02:00) Kicking off Suicide Awareness Month — and why Jen is the perfect guest
(05:00) Introducing Jen Butler: real talk writer, comedian, not afraid of the dark stuff
(07:00) Volume turned up on life: what it's like to feel everything louder than everyone else
(08:00) First thoughts of suicide at 14 — heartbreak, a Burger King parking lot, and no language for the pain
(10:00) Cancer at 22, pain pills, and finding the blend that numbed the discomfort
(11:00) First attempt at 23 — and why getting a clean bill of health was the trigger
(13:00) Being a victim is cozy — Jen, Jamie, and Blake on the seductive comfort of that identity
(15:00) Blake shares his own attempt at 17 and what was underneath it
(17:00) Suicidality as binary thinking — the same switch that fires at a bad job or a rough relationship
(21:00) The psych ward experience, and why leaving didn't change anything
(25:00) Getting sober at 27 — and then three years of white-knuckling through breast implant illness
(29:00) Writing letters to future Jen — the six-year origin story of Volume Control
(34:00) How to use Volume Control: zero through 11, the feely-wheely, and a choose-your-own-adventure table of contents
(37:00) Stay — the new book, the subtitle, and the publishing world's fear of the word suicide
(44:00) Platforms, shadowbans, and why even the word gets blurred like a photo of a... you know
(48:00) Veterans, police, and the career cost of asking for help
(51:00) Why getting help is treated as proof you're a liability — and why that's backwards
(55:00) Self-publishing, crowdfunding, and why Jen is done asking permission
(57:00) In the time of this episode, 83 people will have died by suicide
Three Percent Website: https://threepercentco.com/
Join The Basement (private community + reflection guides): https://threepercentco.com/membership
Jen Butler's Website: https://www.jenbutlersays.com/
Jen Butler on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jenbutlersays/
Volume Control by Jen Butler (buy the book): http://volumecontrolbook.com
Free PDF from Stay — "Tricks for Rough Brain Days": sign up at https://jenbutlersays.kit.com/pdf-justfortoday
988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988 — https://988lifeline.org/Three Percent Podcast, Jen Butler, Volume Control, Stay, suicide awareness, suicide prevention, suicidality, mental health, men's mental health, addiction, recovery, sobriety, emotional regulation, trauma, shame, stigma, veterans mental health, self-publishing, holistic masculinity, personal growth
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
