In this episode, we talk with Ben Cremer—pastor, writer, and author of Into the Gray—about masculinity, humility, binary thinking, and the deep spiritual cost of choosing power over people. Ben opens up about his painful exit from denominational ministry, how his upbringing in Idaho shaped his faith, and why Jesus' model of strength challenges the dominant cultural narratives of manhood. We explore themes of empathy, nonviolence, spiritual formation, and the courage it takes to be curious and kind in polarized spaces. This conversation is a garden of nuance, honesty, and healing.

Takeaways

• Holistic masculinity looks like Jesus—not dominance, but humility and presence.

• Proximity breeds empathy; curiosity breeds compassion.

• We often choose power over love when fear leads our thinking.

• The Christian path is about cultivation, not conquest.

• Humility opens the door to transformation and healing.

• The incarnation shows us God’s way is relationship, not rigid belief.

• Repair is more important than rupture; we’re called to be Jesus’ hands, not the Savior.

  
  

Check out more of Ben Cremer:

Instagram –⁠ @brcremer⁠

Newsletter –⁠ Into the Gray⁠

⁠Ben's Website⁠

⁠Substack⁠

⁠X⁠

Learn more about Three Percent: 🌐⁠ www.threepercentco.com

Chapters

(00:00) Introduction to Ben Cremer

(02:10) Life, Family, and Ministry Roots in Idaho

(07:00) Shifts in Denominational Alignment

(12:00) Being Pushed Out of the Church You Love

(15:00) What is Holistic Masculinity?

(20:00) David, Strength, and God’s Rebuke through Nathan

(23:00) Gardening vs. Gladiators – Chuck DeGroat's Reflection

(26:00) Resurrection and the Garden Metaphor

(29:00) Why Don’t We Get It? Power, Fear, and Control

(34:00) The Power of Incarnation

(37:00) Binary Thinking and the Cost of Certainty

(43:00) Online Pastoral Ministry and Personal Boundaries

(47:00) Humility in the Face of Misunderstanding

(49:00) Final Reflections & Where to Find Ben

Keywords

Ben Cremer, Three Percent, holistic masculinity, Into the Gray, Idaho, spiritual formation, Christian culture, emotional intelligence, binary thinking, fear and power, online ministry, pastoral pain, incarnation, gospel, humility, empathy, compassion, vulnerability, deconstruction, mental health, church hurt, curiosity, Jesus, masculinity, David and Nathan, spiritual growth, gardening metaphor, Chuck DeGroat, discipleship

In this episode, we engage in a deep conversation with Marc Typo about the complexities of fatherhood, masculinity, and emotional expression. We explore the challenges of raising children in a world that often stigmatizes vulnerability, particularly for men. Marc shares his experiences as a father and writer, emphasizing the importance of creating safe spaces for emotional expression and the need for holistic masculinity that embraces both strength and vulnerability. The discussion highlights the impact of upbringing on emotional regulation and the desire to break generational cycles of toxic masculinity.

Takeaways

• Writing about fatherhood helps Marc maintain focus on gratitude.
• We are born soft and emotional.
• It's important to model safety for our children.
• The lighthouse analogy reflects our role as parents.
• We need to allow men to be fragile and soft.
• Creating safe spaces for emotional expression is crucial.

Check out more of Marc Typo:

Website - ⁠https://www.raisingmyles.com/⁠

Instagram - ⁠https://www.instagram.com/marc.typo⁠

Learn more about Three Percent: ⁠www.threepercentco.com

Chapters

00:00 Exploring Holistic Masculinity

07:39 The Journey of Fatherhood

12:48 Navigating Emotions and Vulnerability

18:50 Selflessness in Parenting

20:34 Navigating Fatherhood and Self-Reflection

22:43 Confronting Internal Narratives

23:59 Emotional Expression in Parenting

26:44 Creating Safe Spaces for Children

29:57 The Lighthouse Analogy in Parenting

32:38 Understanding Softness and Strength

36:33 The Journey Back to Emotional Authenticity

41:10 Maintaining Safety Amidst Turbulence

Keywords

fatherhood, masculinity, vulnerability, emotional expression, parenting, holistic masculinity, self-awareness, emotional safety, black fatherhood, personal growth, marriage, emotional connection, shame, spirituality, Christian culture, identity, emotional health, integrity, healing, mental health, empathy, childhood experiences, self-compassion, self-contempt, recovery, holistic healing

In this episode, the hosts engage in a deep conversation with Sheila Wray Gregoire about the complexities of masculinity, vulnerability, and the challenges within marriage. They explore the impact of traditional teachings on relationships, the importance of emotional connection, and the mental load often carried by women. Sheila shares insights from her research on sexual satisfaction and the need for open communication in marriages. The discussion emphasizes the significance of creating safety in relationships and how positive changes can ripple through various aspects of a couple's life together.

Takeaways

• Healthy masculinity involves taking initiative to care for others.
• Vulnerability is essential for deeper connections in relationships.
• Research shows that traditional marriage teachings can harm both men and women.
• Emotional connection is crucial for marital satisfaction.
• Men often carry shame that affects their relationships.
• The mental load in marriages often falls disproportionately on women.
• Improving one aspect of a relationship can positively impact others.
• Communication about sex is often hindered by societal teachings.
• Creating safety in relationships allows for open conversations.
• Couples should work as partners to share responsibilities.

Check out more of Sheila Wray Gregoire:

Website - ⁠https://sheilawraygregoire.com/⁠

Instagram - ⁠https://www.instagram.com/sheilagregoire/⁠

Bare Marriage Podcast - ⁠https://www.buzzsprout.com/242918⁠

Learn more about Three Percent: ⁠www.threepercentco.com

Chapters

00:00 Defining Healthy Masculinity

06:09 Sheila's Journey into Marriage and Sex Education

09:32 Research Findings on Marriage and Sexual Satisfaction

12:18 Challenging Evangelical Teachings

15:14 The Impact of Cultural Narratives on Relationships

18:22 Addressing Shame and Responsibility in Men

21:09 Navigating Sexuality and Intimacy

24:24 The Role of Communication in Healthy Relationships

27:24 Concluding Thoughts and Future Directions

33:40 Understanding Marriage as a Partnership

34:47 The Importance of Emotional Connection

37:23 Mental Load and Housework Dynamics

41:05 The Unseen Burden of Kin Keeping

47:34 The Unfairness Threshold in Marriages

49:25 Creating Smooth Roads in Relationships

54:02 Navigating Shame and Vulnerability

59:34 The Ripple Effect of Connection

Keywords

masculinity, vulnerability, marriage, emotional connection, sexual satisfaction, gender roles, communication, shame, mental load, relationships, spirituality, Christian culture, identity, emotional health, integrity, healing, mental health, empathy, grief, emotional health, mental health resources, holistic masculinity, vulnerability, fatherhood, childhood experiences, self-compassion, shame, self-contempt, recovery, emotional safety, holistic healing

In this episode, Brian Lee discusses the often-overlooked topic of spiritual abuse and its profound impact on individuals' lives. He shares his journey from being a pastor to creating the nonprofit Broken to Beloved, which aims to support survivors of spiritual abuse. The conversation delves into the definition of holistic masculinity, the importance of safety and trust in relationships, and the healing process that involves recognizing one's story and integrating all parts of oneself. Brian emphasizes the need for community support and grace in the journey of recovery, ultimately leading to a deeper understanding of faith and belonging.

Takeaways

• Holistic masculinity means integrating all parts of oneself.
• Spiritual abuse uses God's words to dehumanize individuals.
• Healing requires recognizing and naming trauma.
• Safety in relationships is foundational for trust.
• The journey of healing is often long and complex.
• Community support is vital for recovery from spiritual abuse.
• Understanding one's story is crucial for healing.
• Grace and compassion towards oneself are essential.
• The hierarchy of belovedness includes safety, connection, trust, vulnerability, and intimacy.
• Healing from spiritual abuse can lead to a deeper understanding of faith.

Check out more of Broken to Beloved:

Website - ⁠https://www.brokentobeloved.org/⁠

Donate - ⁠https://www.brokentobeloved.org/support⁠

Instagram - ⁠https://www.instagram.com/brokentobeloved⁠

Substack - ⁠https://brokentobeloved.substack.com/⁠

Broken to Beloved Podcast - ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2RcmVVeoNVuaZ7VT37YKrc?si=38911bd34a8a48e0

Chapters

00:00 Brian's Background and Journey

04:35 Understanding Spiritual Abuse

07:26 The Impact of Spiritual Abuse

10:19 Cultural and Racial Influences

13:35 The Importance of Storytelling

16:21 The Hierarchy of Belovedness

26:56 Building Trust Through Vulnerability

31:16 Understanding Safety and Self-Regulation

37:14 The Connection Between Body Awareness and Safety

43:30 Navigating Faith and Safety in Church Spaces

46:56 Finding Safety in Curiosity and Healing

52:30 The Journey from Brokenness to Beloved

Keywords

masculinity, spirituality, Christian culture, identity, emotional health, storytelling, friendship, integrity, healing, mental health, empathy, grief, emotional health, community support, mental health resources, holistic masculinity, vulnerability, embodiment, fatherhood, childhood experiences, inner child, self-compassion, shame, self-contempt, workshops, mental health, spiritual abuse, trauma, community support, faith, recovery, emotional safety, holistic healing

In this episode, we engage in a deep conversation with Dr. Andrew Bauman about holistic masculinity, vulnerability, and the importance of self-compassion. We explore the impact of childhood experiences on adult behavior, the significance of engaging with one's inner child, and the role of embodiment in therapy. The discussion also touches on the challenges of fatherhood, navigating shame, and the necessity of truth in relationships. The episode concludes with insights into workshops and resources available for men seeking healing and integration.

Takeaways

• Holistic masculinity involves embracing vulnerability and healing.
• Self-compassion is essential in overcoming shame and self-contempt.
• Childhood experiences significantly shape adult behavior and relationships.
• Embodiment practices can enhance therapeutic experiences.
• Navigating fatherhood requires awareness of one's own wounds.
• Truth-telling is a powerful tool for liberation and healing.
• Workshops can provide valuable resources for men seeking support.
• The journey of healing is ongoing and requires commitment.
• Creating safe spaces for men to express emotions is vital.

Check out more of Dr. Andrew Bauman:

Website - ⁠https://andrewjbauman.com/⁠

Intensive Workshops - ⁠https://christiancc.org/⁠

Instagram - ⁠https://www.instagram.com/drandrewjbauman/

Chapters

08:36 Dr. Andrew Bauman's Journey

11:46 The Impact of Family Dynamics

14:25 Engaging with Grief and Loss

17:44 The Importance of Male Embodiment

20:30 Somatic Exercises for Healing

23:31 Integrating the Inner Child

26:22 The Role of Truth in Healing

29:33 Workshops and Resources for Men

32:36 Closing Thoughts and Future Conversations

45:22 Exploring Vulnerability and Healing

Keywords

masculinity, spirituality, social justice, teaching, creativity, Christian culture, identity, emotional health, storytelling, friendship, integrity, healing, mental health, empathy, grief, emotional health, community support, mental health resources, holistic masculinity, vulnerability, embodiment, fatherhood, childhood experiences, inner child, self-compassion, shame, self-contempt, workshops, mental health

In this episode, Zachariah Thompson, founder of Scatter Joy, shares his journey of creating a mental health nonprofit aimed at making mental health resources accessible and affordable. The conversation delves into personal struggles with mental health, the impact of grief, and the importance of empathy in fostering emotional health. The hosts discuss the mission of Scatter Joy, the significance of community support, and how individuals can get involved to help others while also taking care of their own mental health.

Takeaways

• Scatter Joy aims to make mental health resources accessible.
• Mental health is a continuous journey, not a one-time fix.
• Grief plays a significant role in mental health struggles.
• Empathy is essential for personal and communal healing.
• The repair of relationships is more important than the rupture.
• Creating a supportive community is vital for mental health.
• Men often struggle with expressing emotions and vulnerability.
• Storytelling can enhance empathy and understanding.
• Joy can be a form of resistance against mental health stigma.
• Engaging with meaningful stories can improve empathy.

Check out Scatter Joy:

Instagram - ⁠https://www.instagram.com/thescatterjoyproject/⁠

Website - ⁠https://thescatterjoyproject.com/

Chapters

00:00 Zach's Personal Journey with Mental Health

04:23 The Impact of Grief on Mental Health

07:04 Understanding Mental Health as a Lifelong Journey

09:49 The Role of Fear and Emotional Awareness

12:41 Reparenting Through Fatherhood

15:18 The Importance of Repairing Relationships

18:06 The Meaning Behind Scatter Joy

26:25 The Journey of Scatter Joy

31:45 Personal Growth Through Diverse Experiences

36:51 Breaking Barriers in Mental Health

42:37 The Power of Scattering Joy

49:17 Empathy as a Tool for Mental Health

53:43 Supporting and Being Supported by Scatter Joy

Keywords

masculinity, spirituality, social justice, teaching, creativity, entrepreneurship, Christian culture, identity, emotional health, storytelling, friendship, integrity, healing, mental health, empathy, Scatter Joy, grief, emotional health, community support, mental health resources, storytelling, joy

In this engaging conversation, Propaganda, a multifaceted artist, discusses his journey through music, coffee culture, and the complexities of masculinity and spirituality. He reflects on his influences in hip-hop, the challenges of entrepreneurship, and the importance of teaching and community. The dialogue explores how personal experiences shape artistic expression and the significance of accessing prior knowledge in learning and growth. In this conversation, we delve into the complexities of masculinity, the challenges of navigating the Christian music industry, and the importance of engaging with one's pain to foster personal growth. We explore the impact of societal expectations on male identity, the significance of storytelling in understanding oneself, and the need for emotional expression. The discussion highlights the journey of self-discovery and the role of music as a medium for exploring these themes.

Takeaways

• Propaganda discusses the evolution of hip-hop and its social consciousness.
• Teaching is a core aspect of his identity and artistry.
• He believes in accessing prior knowledge to enhance learning.
• The conversation touches on the complexities of masculinity in today's world.
• Propaganda's new music explores themes of masculinity and spirituality.
• Understanding what masculinity is not can clarify what it is.
• Engaging with pain is essential for personal growth.
• Emotional expression is often limited by societal norms.
• Stories shape our understanding of masculinity.
• Language can be a powerful tool for healing.

Check out Propaganda:

Instagram - ⁠https://www.instagram.com/prophiphop/?hl=en⁠

YouTube - ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS_bhmcf4VbuoU6eX-0fzAg⁠

Spotify - ⁠https://open.spotify.com/artist/7wGizTRCLYwsLnTuCBbJ6t?si=-ANPwqzxTd6Smb867Hkjew⁠

Hood Politics - ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hood-politics-with-prop/id1493858530⁠

Website - ⁠https://www.prophiphop.com/

Chapters

01:48 Meet Propaganda: The Artist and His Journey

05:40 Passion for Coffee and Community

07:49 The Hustle of Entrepreneurship

12:32 The Evolution of Hip-Hop and Personal Influence

17:47 Teaching as a Core Gift

21:36 Accessing Prior Knowledge in Learning

26:03 Exploring Masculinity Through Music

27:03 The Creative Process Behind New Music

31:51 The Bench: A Year of Reflection

32:49 Exploring Masculinity Through Music

33:51 Navigating the Christian Music Landscape

35:03 Friendship and Integrity in the Music Industry

37:01 Political Engagement and Identity

39:22 Defining Masculinity: What It Is and Isn't

40:46 Engaging with Pain to Understand Manhood

43:07 The Crayon Box of Emotions

47:08 The Impact of Stories on Masculinity

51:03 Holistic Masculinity: Anger and Self-Reflection

55:07 The Power of Language in Healing

Keywords

Propaganda, hip-hop, masculinity, spirituality, coffee culture, social justice, teaching, creativity, entrepreneurship, music, masculinity, music, Christian culture, identity, emotional health, storytelling, political engagement, friendship, integrity, healing

In this conversation, we talk to filmmaker Eric Floberg and explore the challenges of balancing parenthood and work, the importance of authenticity in creative endeavors, and the role of vulnerability in storytelling. Eric shares his journey as a filmmaker and runner, emphasizing the need for intentionality in both personal and professional life. We discuss how running serves as a metaphor for life, highlighting the mental benefits and discipline it brings. The conversation also touches on the impact of community in running and the evolution of Eric's creative career, ultimately questioning the purpose and intent behind creative work. In this conversation, we explore the intricate balance between personal relationships and the discipline required in both running and life. We discuss the importance of prioritizing relationships, the compounding effects of consistent effort, and the necessity of embracing the process rather than focusing solely on outcomes. The dialogue also touches on the significance of community, collaboration, and emotional intelligence in navigating life's challenges, particularly in the context of masculinity and personal growth.

Takeaways

• Parenthood often requires a delicate balance with work.
• Creativity thrives on authenticity and vulnerability.
• Vulnerability can lead to deeper connections in creative work.
• Finding purpose in creative endeavors is essential for fulfillment.
• Fatherhood can significantly influence personal growth and perspective.
• Running serves as a powerful metaphor for life's challenges.
• The process of creating is often more important than the outcome.
• Building a supportive community enhances creative work.
• Navigating relationships in a creative environment can be complex.
• Emotional awareness is crucial in collaborative settings.

Check out Eric’s YouTube Channel: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@EricFloberg⁠

Join Eric’s Running Channel and Community: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@flobergruns⁠

Follow Eric on Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/eric.floberg/?hl=en

Chapters

00:00 The Role of Authenticity in Creative Work

04:00 Exploring the Creative Journey

06:58 The Importance of Vulnerability in Storytelling

10:06 Running as a Metaphor for Life

13:02 The Impact of Community in Running

16:01 Questioning Purpose and Intent in Creativity

18:56 The Evolution of Eric's Creative Career

22:06 Rediscovering Joy in Running

25:07 Discipline and Its Broader Implications

27:58 Prioritizing Relationships Over Tasks

31:02 The Long Game: Consistency in Relationships

33:51 Finding Joy in the Process

35:00 The Importance of Consistency

35:45 Embracing the Process of Growth

36:55 The Euphoria of Achievement

37:56 Resilience in Relationships

38:57 The Complexity of Collaboration

40:01 Building Community and Connection

41:01 The 3% Principle in Relationships

Keywords

parenthood, work-life balance, authenticity, creativity, vulnerability, storytelling, running, community, purpose, discipline, relationships, masculinity, grit, consistency, personal growth, community, collaboration, emotional intelligence, domestic life, running

In this episode of the 3% Podcast, hosts Jamie Haigh and Blake Roberts engage in a deep conversation with David Thomas, co-executive director of Daystar Counseling and co-author of 11 books, including ‘Raising Emotionally Strong Boys: Tools Your Son can Build on for Life,’ and the best-selling ‘Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys.’ The discussion revolves around the importance of vulnerability and honesty in parenting, the challenges parents face in today's world, and the significance of modeling emotional regulation for children. David shares insights from his new children's book, which aims to teach resilience and emotional understanding through the story of a therapy dog. The conversation emphasizes the need for parents to reflect on their own stories and the impact of their parenting on future generations.

Takeaways

• Vulnerability and honesty are crucial in parenting.
• Parents should trust their instincts amidst overwhelming information.
• Modeling emotional regulation is essential for children.
• Apologizing to children can strengthen relationships.
• Children's books can convey complex emotional themes simply.
• Therapy dogs can play a significant role in emotional healing.
• Building resilience in children starts with acknowledging fear.
• Parenting is about cleaning up our side of the street.
• Understanding one's own story is vital for effective parenting.

Check out Daystar Counseling: ⁠https://www.daystarcounseling.com/⁠

Pre-order David and Sissy’s new books: ⁠https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com/shop⁠

Listen to Raising Boys and Girls: ⁠https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com/⁠

Follow David on Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/raisingboysandgirls/

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to David Thomas and Daystar Counseling

05:30 The Importance of Vulnerability and Honesty in Parenting

08:33 Navigating Emotional Development and Parenting Challenges

11:19 The Role of Apologies and Self-Regulation in Parenting

14:35 Introducing the New Children's Book and Its Themes

17:28 The Story Behind the Therapy Dog and Its Impact

20:31 Building Resilience and Courage in Children

23:33 The Mission of the Children's Book and Its Emotional Tools

29:53 Courage in Overcoming Fear

31:36 Empathy and Resilience in Parenting

34:49 The Impact of Family Stories

36:54 Transforming Pain into Growth

39:50 The Importance of Acknowledging Harm

44:28 Generational Impact of Parenting

47:23 Cleaning Up Our Side of the Street

53:44 The Legacy of Good Parenting

Keywords

parenting, emotional development, vulnerability, honesty, resilience, children's books, therapy dogs, David Thomas, Daystar Counseling, raising boys, parenting, resilience, courage, empathy, family stories, growth, vulnerability, generational impact, self-awareness, emotional health

In this conversation, we explore the intersection of therapy, masculinity, and personal growth with Sam Eldredge. Sam shares insights from his background, discussing how his upbringing influenced his approach to emotional intelligence and healing. The discussion delves into the concept of Noble Workshops, a unique experiential therapy program designed to help individuals engage with their personal stories and foster deeper connections with themselves and others. Throughout the conversation, the importance of storytelling, vulnerability, and beauty in the healing process is emphasized, inviting listeners to reflect on their own journeys. We delve into the themes of nostalgia, healing, and the importance of curiosity in understanding our emotions. We also explore how past experiences shape our present feelings and the significance of connecting with our inner child. The discussion emphasizes the need for kindness, courage, and curiosity in the healing process, as well as the role of vulnerability in forming genuine connections. We also want listeners to check out Noble Workshops as a resource for those seeking deeper emotional work and community support.

Takeaways

• The importance of pursuing holistic masculinity in today's world.
• Noble Workshops provide a space for deep emotional healing.
• Curiosity is essential in understanding our own stories.
• Vulnerability allows for genuine connections with others.
• Engaging with our inner child can lead to profound insights.
• Progress in personal growth is often incremental, not all or nothing.
• Storytelling can help us connect with our own experiences.
• Compassion towards ourselves is crucial in the healing process.
• The environment and community play a significant role in personal growth.
• Being present and attentive to beauty can be healing.

Check out Noble Workshops: https://www.nobleworkshops.com/

Listen to the Noble Workshops Podcast: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/nobleworkshops/

Follow Sam on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nobleworkshops/

Inner Child Exercise: https://static1.squarespace.com/static/648367dc04b64b65f3626d6d/t/65611601bab60e7abe6480d1/1700861450113/NW+%7C+Inner+Child.pdf

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Background

08:00 Exploring the Work of Sam Eldredge

15:57 Understanding Noble Workshops

23:47 Engaging with Personal Stories

29:19 Exploring Nostalgia and Sadness

32:02 The Power of Curiosity in Healing

36:21 Understanding Resistance and Acceptance

39:26 The Role of Kindness, Courage, and Curiosity

43:40 Connecting with Our Inner Child

49:59 The Importance of Vulnerability

55:14 Noble Workshops: A Path to Healing

Keywords

holistic masculinity, inner child, vulnerability, personal growth, therapy, noble workshops, emotional healing, storytelling, mental health, self-discovery