Summary

In this deeply personal episode, Jamie and Blake step away from interviews to reflect on one of the most important and tender questions they ask as therapists and friends: What’s the point in changing? Recorded during a 3% planning retreat, they share the raw stories of their own healing journeys—from addiction, numbness, and rage to freedom, connection, and hope. Whether you’re seeking freedom from a behavior or freedom for deeper relationships, this episode offers both encouragement and honesty for anyone in process.

Mentioned Resources

Takeaways

Chapters

(00:00) Welcome from the Cabin

(02:32) What Motivates Change?

(04:50) Motivational Interviewing & Counseling Insights

(06:44) Blake’s Story: Hitting a Wall

(10:10) Changing for a Relationship

(13:00) You Are Not the Problem

(16:20) Freedom From vs. Freedom For

(18:00) Jamie’s Story: Numbness and Rage

(22:10) The Role of Porn in Emotional Numbing

(24:55) Shifting Motivation Over Time

(26:20) Healing as Ongoing Work

(29:00) The Little Boy Inside Who Still Wants to Hide

(32:30) Parenting Yourself with Compassion

(35:10) Why Progress Feels Like a Circle

(37:00) Change for You, Not Just Them

(39:00) You’re Worth It

Keywords therapy, change, healing, recovery, shame, emotional health, addiction, porn recovery, motivation, empathy, rage, fatherhood, masculinity, self-awareness, spiritual formation, honesty, holistic masculinity, personal growth, identity, trauma, freedom, Jay Stringer, Chip Dodd, Voice of the Heart, emotional literacy

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In this episode, we welcome therapist, writer, and podcast host Blake Blankenbecler into a powerful conversation about emotional language, body awareness, and the harm of emotional outsourcing. Blake unpacks why many men struggle to name their inner world and what it takes to reclaim curiosity, tenderness, and truth. Together, we talk about the nervous system, faith deconstruction, co-regulation, and why presence is the most healing thing we offer one another. This episode will meet you where you are and gently invite you further in.

Takeaways

Check out more of Blake Blankenbecler:

🌐 Website – ⁠blakeblankenbecler.com ⁠

📸 Instagram –⁠ @blakeblankenbecler⁠

The Friendship Deck: ⁠thefriendshipdeck.com⁠

Learn more about Three Percent: 🌐⁠ www.threepercentco.com

Chapters

(00:00) Meet Blake Blankenbecler – Therapist

(03:00) Language for the Inner Life

(06:00) What is Emotional Outsourcing?

(10:00) The Power of Co-Regulation

(14:00) Why Men Struggle to Name Emotions

(18:00) Body-Based Healing and the Nervous System

(22:00) From Christian Duty to Emotional Honesty

(26:00) How Curiosity Changes the Healing Process

(30:00) Practicing Emotional Responsibility

(33:00) The Lie of Being Too Much

(36:00) Faith, Attachment, and Embodied Safety

(41:00) Relationships as the Place of Repair

(45:00) Where to Find Blake Online

Keywords

Blake Blankenbecler, Three Percent, emotional health, holistic masculinity, co-regulation, emotional outsourcing, nervous system healing, trauma recovery, therapy, men’s emotions, inner work, Christian deconstruction, embodiment, faith and healing, presence, emotional literacy, emotional responsibility, relationships, healing through connection, curiosity, somatic healing, mental health, attachment, tenderness, emotional safety

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In this episode, hosts Blake and Jamie dive into the emotional lives of men—what we feel, what we’ve been taught to suppress, and what it might look like to live more honestly. They explore how fear, shame, and sadness often hide beneath anger, and why many men are disconnected from their bodies, relationships, and even themselves. From childhood messages to faith, parenting, and emotional repair, this conversation is vulnerable, practical, and full of grace. Whether you’re just beginning to name your emotions or walking others through healing, this episode offers language, insight, and permission to feel.

Takeaways

Resources

Chip Dodd Emotions Chart: https://static1.squarespace.com/static/62e2d6c397d6ff1fd356ed8f/t/632cbee0b6a9703239cd018f/1725475063690/8+Feelings.pdf 

Learn more about Three Percent:

🌐⁠ www.threepercentco.com⁠

📸 Instagram –⁠ @threepercentco

Chapters

(00:00) Welcome to the Emotions Episode

(03:00) Why Talk About Emotions?

(06:00) Men and the Fear of Feeling

(09:00) What We Learned Growing Up About Emotions

(12:00) Anger, Sadness, Shame—What’s Really Underneath?

(16:00) Why Men Disconnect From the Body

(20:00) Faith and Emotional Formation

(25:00) Emotional Literacy in Parenting

(28:00) When You Feel Unsafe in Relationship

(32:00) The Power of Curiosity and Naming Emotions

(36:00) Repair, Vulnerability, and Starting Again

(40:00) Final Thoughts on Living Fully Alive

Keywords

Three Percent, masculinity, emotions, emotional health, anger, fear, shame, sadness, vulnerability, holistic masculinity, emotional literacy, fatherhood, parenting, emotional intelligence, Christian men, faith and emotions, childhood wounds, trauma, inner work, embodiment, safety, repair, naming emotions, identity, integrity, spiritual formation, relationship dynamics

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In this honest and redemptive episode, we talk with Young Woong Yi—pastor, church planter, and spiritual formation leader—about anger, masculinity, and becoming a safe man. Young shares how growing up in an immigrant household shaped his relationship with emotions, and how repressed sadness and generational patterns of power led to a breaking point in his marriage. He opens up about the life-saving intervention of his church, the deep healing that followed, and what it means to cultivate emotional safety in leadership, relationships, and spiritual formation. This episode is a masterclass in transformation, humility, and the long road to becoming whole.

Takeaways

Check out more of Young Yi:

📸 Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/brotheryoung/

Substack: https://substack.com/@brotheryoung

🌐 Church Plant – https://www.instagram.com/kindredchurchmi/

Learn more about Three Percent: 🌐 https://threepercentco.com/

Chapters

(00:00) Meet Young Yi – Pastor, Photographer, Church Planter

(02:00) Blake’s Story: Anger Repression and Performance

(04:30) A Relationship with Anger?

(07:00) Emotional Abuse, Immigrant Parenting, and Powering Up

(10:00) Learning How to Win Through Anger

(13:00) From Veterinary School to Ministry

(16:00) Marriage as a Mirror: Anger Exposed

(18:00) “You’re Bullying Me”: The Catalyst for Change

(20:00) Church Leadership Responds with Grace

(23:00) Six Months of Paid Leave and Intense Therapy

(26:00) What Changed Young’s View of Masculinity

(29:00) Anger Isn’t Always Justified Action

(32:00) The Anger Iceberg & Sadness Beneath the Surface

(35:00) Generational Messaging: “Men Don’t Cry”

(38:00) Learning to Say: “That Made Me Really Sad”

(41:00) Advocating for the Child Within

(45:00) How Anger Impacts Spiritual Formation

(49:00) Church Culture, Jesus, and Emotional Health

(52:00) Final Encouragement to Men: Ask for Help

(54:00) Where to Find Young & Kindred Church

Keywords

Young Yi, Three Percent, holistic masculinity, anger, emotional safety, immigrant family, Korean American, spiritual formation, church hurt, inner child, marriage counseling, masculinity and emotions, mental health in ministry, vulnerability, leadership, discipleship, shame, sadness, advocacy, safe men, healing, therapy, pastoral care, emotional intelligence, Kindred Church, genogram, Pete Scazzero, Voice of the Heart, Rich Villodas, Chip Dodd, Christian men, identity formation, marriage restoration

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In this episode, we sit down with writer, editor, and host of The Writer’s Circle podcast, Will Parker Anderson. Will opens up about the intersection of storytelling and vulnerability, holistic masculinity modeled by Jesus, and why real writing—and real life—requires full presence. From discussing confession and shame to the importance of being known in community, this conversation offers wisdom for anyone seeking healing, depth, and the courage to be honest. Will’s pastoral insight and personal honesty will challenge and comfort you.

Takeaways

• Truth-telling opens the door to connection and transformation.
  

Check out more of Will Parker Anderson:

🌐 Website –⁠ writerscircle.co⁠

🎙️ Podcast – ⁠The Writer’s Circle⁠

Learn more about Three Percent: 🌐⁠ www.threepercentco.com

Chapters

(00:00) Meet Will Parker Anderson

(02:00) Writing as Overflow of Living

(04:30) Holistic Masculinity as Servanthood

(09:00) Vulnerability in Storytelling and Relationships

(14:00) Why Men Struggle to Tell the Truth

(18:00) You Can’t Be Known By God Without Being Known By Others

(22:00) Healing from Hurt Happens in Relationship

(26:00) The Poison and the Cure Grow Side-by-Side

(30:00) Will’s Story of Confession and Grace

(36:00) The Risk of Vulnerability

(41:00) What Gets Affirmed Gets Repeated

(45:00) Neurobiology of Being Seen and Known

(50:00) Mentorship and Gentle Discipleship

(54:00) Where to Find Will and Writer’s Circle

Keywords

Will Parker Anderson, Three Percent, writing and vulnerability, storytelling, holistic masculinity, servanthood, confession, shame, grace, recovery, writer’s circle, Penguin Random House, Substack, emotional intelligence, community, mentorship, being known, faith and healing, honesty, Jesus, fatherhood, integrity, spiritual formation, trauma recovery, mental health, deconstruction, masculinity and faith, relational healing, writing process

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In this powerful episode, we sit down with former NFL player and West Point graduate Caleb Campbell to explore his journey from performance-driven success to soul-level healing. Caleb shares how the pressure to be “America’s Athlete” led to emotional collapse—and ultimately, a profound spiritual transformation. Now a speaker and coach, Caleb helps others navigate “threshold moments” where letting go becomes the doorway to becoming more whole. We talk about masculinity, grief, addiction, expansion, and why every death can be a doorway to deeper life. This is not just a conversation—it’s a call to wholeness.

Takeaways

Check out more of Caleb Campbell:

🌐 Website –⁠ www.calebcampbell.me⁠

📸 Instagram –⁠ @caleb_campbell⁠

Learn more about Three Percent: 🌐⁠ www.threepercentco.com

Chapters

(00:00) Meeting Caleb Campbell – Athlete, Speaker, Threshold Guide

(05:00) What is Holistic Masculinity?

(09:00) Disconnection, Performance, and the Wounded Masculine

(12:00) NFL Dreams & The Crisis of Identity

(18:00) From NFL to Janitor: The Journey of Letting Go

(21:00) Discovering Creativity and Storytelling

(23:00) A $10,000 Gift & the Call to Keep Telling His Story

(27:00) The Role of Grief in Spiritual Expansion

(30:00) Ambiguous Grief & Redefining Loss

(33:00) Trusting the Darkness as an Invitation

(36:00) Choosing the Death That Makes You Bigger

(40:00) Living with Original Knowing – You Are Already Held

(45:00) Welcoming Home the Loyal Soldiers Within

(48:00) Exvangelical Identity & Deconstructing with Compassion

(53:00) Caleb’s Upcoming Book & Coaching Work

(58:00) Final Reflections on Expansion, Soul Work, and Christ Consciousness

Keywords

Caleb Campbell, Three Percent, holistic masculinity, grief, expansion, NFL, identity, soul work, spiritual formation, healing, threshold, emotional safety, original knowing, addiction recovery, exvangelical, compassion, personal growth, transformation, deconstruction, presence, wounded masculine, coaching, wholeness, self-awareness, leadership and well-being, emotional healing, men’s work, letting go, faith journey, Richard Rohr, Francis Weller, mysticism, spiritual awakening

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In this episode, we talk with Ben Cremer—pastor, writer, and author of Into the Gray—about masculinity, humility, binary thinking, and the deep spiritual cost of choosing power over people. Ben opens up about his painful exit from denominational ministry, how his upbringing in Idaho shaped his faith, and why Jesus' model of strength challenges the dominant cultural narratives of manhood. We explore themes of empathy, nonviolence, spiritual formation, and the courage it takes to be curious and kind in polarized spaces. This conversation is a garden of nuance, honesty, and healing.

Takeaways

Repair is more important than rupture; we’re called to be Jesus’ hands, not the Savior.

Check out more of Ben Cremer:

Instagram –⁠ @brcremer⁠

Newsletter –⁠ Into the Gray⁠

⁠Ben's Website⁠

⁠Substack⁠

⁠X⁠

Learn more about Three Percent: 🌐⁠ www.threepercentco.com

Chapters

(00:00) Introduction to Ben Cremer

(02:10) Life, Family, and Ministry Roots in Idaho

(07:00) Shifts in Denominational Alignment

(12:00) Being Pushed Out of the Church You Love

(15:00) What is Holistic Masculinity?

(20:00) David, Strength, and God’s Rebuke through Nathan

(23:00) Gardening vs. Gladiators – Chuck DeGroat's Reflection

(26:00) Resurrection and the Garden Metaphor

(29:00) Why Don’t We Get It? Power, Fear, and Control

(34:00) The Power of Incarnation

(37:00) Binary Thinking and the Cost of Certainty

(43:00) Online Pastoral Ministry and Personal Boundaries

(47:00) Humility in the Face of Misunderstanding

(49:00) Final Reflections & Where to Find Ben

Keywords

Ben Cremer, Three Percent, holistic masculinity, Into the Gray, Idaho, spiritual formation, Christian culture, emotional intelligence, binary thinking, fear and power, online ministry, pastoral pain, incarnation, gospel, humility, empathy, compassion, vulnerability, deconstruction, mental health, church hurt, curiosity, Jesus, masculinity, David and Nathan, spiritual growth, gardening metaphor, Chuck DeGroat, discipleship

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In this episode, we engage in a deep conversation with Marc Typo about the complexities of fatherhood, masculinity, and emotional expression. We explore the challenges of raising children in a world that often stigmatizes vulnerability, particularly for men. Marc shares his experiences as a father and writer, emphasizing the importance of creating safe spaces for emotional expression and the need for holistic masculinity that embraces both strength and vulnerability. The discussion highlights the impact of upbringing on emotional regulation and the desire to break generational cycles of toxic masculinity.

Takeaways

Check out more of Marc Typo:

Website - ⁠https://www.raisingmyles.com/⁠

Instagram - ⁠https://www.instagram.com/marc.typo⁠

Learn more about Three Percent: ⁠www.threepercentco.com

Chapters

00:00 Exploring Holistic Masculinity

07:39 The Journey of Fatherhood

12:48 Navigating Emotions and Vulnerability

18:50 Selflessness in Parenting

20:34 Navigating Fatherhood and Self-Reflection

22:43 Confronting Internal Narratives

23:59 Emotional Expression in Parenting

26:44 Creating Safe Spaces for Children

29:57 The Lighthouse Analogy in Parenting

32:38 Understanding Softness and Strength

36:33 The Journey Back to Emotional Authenticity

41:10 Maintaining Safety Amidst Turbulence

Keywords

fatherhood, masculinity, vulnerability, emotional expression, parenting, holistic masculinity, self-awareness, emotional safety, black fatherhood, personal growth, marriage, emotional connection, shame, spirituality, Christian culture, identity, emotional health, integrity, healing, mental health, empathy, childhood experiences, self-compassion, self-contempt, recovery, holistic healing

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In this episode, the hosts engage in a deep conversation with Sheila Wray Gregoire about the complexities of masculinity, vulnerability, and the challenges within marriage. They explore the impact of traditional teachings on relationships, the importance of emotional connection, and the mental load often carried by women. Sheila shares insights from her research on sexual satisfaction and the need for open communication in marriages. The discussion emphasizes the significance of creating safety in relationships and how positive changes can ripple through various aspects of a couple's life together.

Takeaways

Check out more of Sheila Wray Gregoire:

Website - ⁠https://sheilawraygregoire.com/⁠

Instagram - ⁠https://www.instagram.com/sheilagregoire/⁠

Bare Marriage Podcast - ⁠https://www.buzzsprout.com/242918⁠

Learn more about Three Percent: ⁠www.threepercentco.com

Chapters

00:00 Defining Healthy Masculinity

06:09 Sheila's Journey into Marriage and Sex Education

09:32 Research Findings on Marriage and Sexual Satisfaction

12:18 Challenging Evangelical Teachings

15:14 The Impact of Cultural Narratives on Relationships

18:22 Addressing Shame and Responsibility in Men

21:09 Navigating Sexuality and Intimacy

24:24 The Role of Communication in Healthy Relationships

27:24 Concluding Thoughts and Future Directions

33:40 Understanding Marriage as a Partnership

34:47 The Importance of Emotional Connection

37:23 Mental Load and Housework Dynamics

41:05 The Unseen Burden of Kin Keeping

47:34 The Unfairness Threshold in Marriages

49:25 Creating Smooth Roads in Relationships

54:02 Navigating Shame and Vulnerability

59:34 The Ripple Effect of Connection

Keywords

masculinity, vulnerability, marriage, emotional connection, sexual satisfaction, gender roles, communication, shame, mental load, relationships, spirituality, Christian culture, identity, emotional health, integrity, healing, mental health, empathy, grief, emotional health, mental health resources, holistic masculinity, vulnerability, fatherhood, childhood experiences, self-compassion, shame, self-contempt, recovery, emotional safety, holistic healing

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In this episode, Brian Lee discusses the often-overlooked topic of spiritual abuse and its profound impact on individuals' lives. He shares his journey from being a pastor to creating the nonprofit Broken to Beloved, which aims to support survivors of spiritual abuse. The conversation delves into the definition of holistic masculinity, the importance of safety and trust in relationships, and the healing process that involves recognizing one's story and integrating all parts of oneself. Brian emphasizes the need for community support and grace in the journey of recovery, ultimately leading to a deeper understanding of faith and belonging.

Takeaways

Check out more of Broken to Beloved:

Website - ⁠https://www.brokentobeloved.org/⁠

Donate - ⁠https://www.brokentobeloved.org/support⁠

Instagram - ⁠https://www.instagram.com/brokentobeloved⁠

Substack - ⁠https://brokentobeloved.substack.com/⁠

Broken to Beloved Podcast - ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2RcmVVeoNVuaZ7VT37YKrc?si=38911bd34a8a48e0

Chapters

00:00 Brian's Background and Journey

04:35 Understanding Spiritual Abuse

07:26 The Impact of Spiritual Abuse

10:19 Cultural and Racial Influences

13:35 The Importance of Storytelling

16:21 The Hierarchy of Belovedness

26:56 Building Trust Through Vulnerability

31:16 Understanding Safety and Self-Regulation

37:14 The Connection Between Body Awareness and Safety

43:30 Navigating Faith and Safety in Church Spaces

46:56 Finding Safety in Curiosity and Healing

52:30 The Journey from Brokenness to Beloved

Keywords

masculinity, spirituality, Christian culture, identity, emotional health, storytelling, friendship, integrity, healing, mental health, empathy, grief, emotional health, community support, mental health resources, holistic masculinity, vulnerability, embodiment, fatherhood, childhood experiences, inner child, self-compassion, shame, self-contempt, workshops, mental health, spiritual abuse, trauma, community support, faith, recovery, emotional safety, holistic healing

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