What if the most dangerous thing we can do around suicide isn't talking about it — but refusing to?
September is Suicide Awareness Month, and Jamie and Blake are kicking it off with someone they describe as the most accessible voice on this topic they've ever encountered: Jen Butler — real talk writer, comedian, and author of Volume Control — who has spent years refusing to let shame keep this conversation small. Both Blake and Jamie share openly from their own stories in this episode. Blake attempted suicide at 17. Jamie has experienced passive suicidality. Jen has had multiple attempts, multiple psych ward stays, and years of addiction underneath it all. And yet somehow this episode is also funny. Warm. Honest in a way that makes you feel less alone rather than more afraid.
Jen traces her story from a heartbreak at 14 in a Burger King parking lot, to a cancer diagnosis at 22 and the narcotic pain pills that followed, to two psych ward stints, breast implant illness, disordered eating, and finally — sobriety, courtesy of a poet with a man bun. She talks about what it took to write Volume Control — a choose-your-own-emotional-regulation guidebook she built over six years by writing letters to her future self from her darkest places — and previews her next book, Stay, which publishers keep loving and refusing at the same time, because the word suicide makes everyone nervous. The irony is not lost on her.
If you've ever had the thought that you just didn't want to be here anymore — or you love someone who has — this episode will give you language, permission, and a little bit of relief.
If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988.
 
KEY TAKEAWAYS
<ul>
 <li>Why not talking about suicide is the most dangerous thing we can do — not the other way around</li>
 <li>How suicidality is really just one expression of a universal human instinct: discomfort is loud, we want comfort</li>
 <li>Why a suicide attempt doesn't automatically lead to a shift — and what actually has to change</li>
 <li>What "the volume turned up on life" means and why some people feel everything louder than others</li>
 <li>How Jen built Volume Control — six years of letters to her future self, organized by emotional state</li>
</ul>
CHAPTERS
(00:00) Cold open: the reason I got sober was a poet with a man bun
(02:00) Kicking off Suicide Awareness Month — and why Jen is the perfect guest
(05:00) Introducing Jen Butler: real talk writer, comedian, not afraid of the dark stuff
(07:00) Volume turned up on life: what it's like to feel everything louder than everyone else
(08:00) First thoughts of suicide at 14 — heartbreak, a Burger King parking lot, and no language for the pain
(10:00) Cancer at 22, pain pills, and finding the blend that numbed the discomfort
(11:00) First attempt at 23 — and why getting a clean bill of health was the trigger
(13:00) Being a victim is cozy — Jen, Jamie, and Blake on the seductive comfort of that identity
(15:00) Blake shares his own attempt at 17 and what was underneath it
(17:00) Suicidality as binary thinking — the same switch that fires at a bad job or a rough relationship
(21:00) The psych ward experience, and why leaving didn't change anything
(25:00) Getting sober at 27 — and then three years of white-knuckling through breast implant illness
(29:00) Writing letters to future Jen — the six-year origin story of Volume Control
(34:00) How to use Volume Control: zero through 11, the feely-wheely, and a choose-your-own-adventure table of contents
(37:00) Stay — the new book, the subtitle, and the publishing world's fear of the word suicide
(44:00) Platforms, shadowbans, and why even the word gets blurred like a photo of a... you know
(48:00) Veterans, police, and the career cost of asking for help
(51:00) Why getting help is treated as proof you're a liability — and why that's backwards
(55:00) Self-publishing, crowdfunding, and why Jen is done asking permission
(57:00) In the time of this episode, 83 people will have died by suicide
 
LINKS & RESOURCES
<ul>
 <li>Three Percent Website: <a href="https://threepercentco.com/">https://threepercentco.com/</a></li>
 <li>Join The Basement (private community + reflection guides): <a href="https://threepercentco.com/membership">https://threepercentco.com/membership</a></li>
 <li>Jen Butler's Website: <a href="https://www.jenbutlersays.com/">https://www.jenbutlersays.com/</a></li>
 <li>Jen Butler on Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/jenbutlersays/">https://www.instagram.com/jenbutlersays/</a></li>
 <li>Volume Control by Jen Butler (buy the book): <a href="http://volumecontrolbook.com">http://volumecontrolbook.com</a></li>
 <li>Free PDF from Stay — "Tricks for Rough Brain Days": sign up at <a href="https://jenbutlersays.kit.com/pdf-justfortoday">https://jenbutlersays.kit.com/pdf-justfortoday</a></li>
 <li>988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988 — <a href="https://988lifeline.org/">https://988lifeline.org/</a></li>
</ul>
KEYWORDS
Three Percent Podcast, Jen Butler, Volume Control, Stay, suicide awareness, suicide prevention, suicidality, mental health, men's mental health, addiction, recovery, sobriety, emotional regulation, trauma, shame, stigma, veterans mental health, self-publishing, holistic masculinity, personal growth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

What if the most dangerous thing we can do around suicide isn't talking about it — but refusing to? September is Suicide Awareness Month, and Jamie and Blake are kicking it off with someone they describe as the most accessible voice on this topic they've ever encountered: Jen Butler — real talk writer, comedian, and author of Volume Control — who has spent years refusing to let shame keep this conversation small. Both Blake and Jamie share openly from their own stories in this episode. Blake attempted suicide at 17. Jamie has experienced passive suicidality. Jen has had multiple attempts, multiple psych ward stays, and years of addiction underneath it all. And yet somehow this episode is also funny. Warm. Honest in a way that makes you feel less alone rather than more afraid. Jen traces her story from a heartbreak at 14 in a Burger King parking lot, to a cancer diagnosis at 22 and the narcotic pain pills that followed, to two psych ward stints, breast implant illness, disordered eating, and finally — sobriety, courtesy of a poet with a man bun. She talks about what it took to write Volume Control — a choose-your-own-emotional-regulation guidebook she built over six years by writing letters to her future self from her darkest places — and previews her next book, Stay, which publishers keep loving and refusing at the same time, because the word suicide makes everyone nervous. The irony is not lost on her. If you've ever had the thought that you just didn't want to be here anymore — or you love someone who has — this episode will give you language, permission, and a little bit of relief. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988. KEY TAKEAWAYS Why not talking about suicide is the most dangerous thing we can do — not the other way around How suicidality is really just one expression of a universal human instinct: discomfort is loud, we want comfort Why a suicide attempt doesn't automatically lead to a shift — and what actually has to change What "the volume turned up on life" means and why some people feel everything louder than others How Jen built Volume Control — six years of letters to her future self, organized by emotional state CHAPTERS (00:00) Cold open: the reason I got sober was a poet with a man bun (02:00) Kicking off Suicide Awareness Month — and why Jen is the perfect guest (05:00) Introducing Jen Butler: real talk writer, comedian, not afraid of the dark stuff (07:00) Volume turned up on life: what it's like to feel everything louder than everyone else (08:00) First thoughts of suicide at 14 — heartbreak, a Burger King parking lot, and no language for the pain (10:00) Cancer at 22, pain pills, and finding the blend that numbed the discomfort (11:00) First attempt at 23 — and why getting a clean bill of health was the trigger (13:00) Being a victim is cozy — Jen, Jamie, and Blake on the seductive comfort of that identity (15:00) Blake shares his own attempt at 17 and what was underneath it (17:00) Suicidality as binary thinking — the same switch that fires at a bad job or a rough relationship (21:00) The psych ward experience, and why leaving didn't change anything (25:00) Getting sober at 27 — and then three years of white-knuckling through breast implant illness (29:00) Writing letters to future Jen — the six-year origin story of Volume Control (34:00) How to use Volume Control: zero through 11, the feely-wheely, and a choose-your-own-adventure table of contents (37:00) Stay — the new book, the subtitle, and the publishing world's fear of the word suicide (44:00) Platforms, shadowbans, and why even the word gets blurred like a photo of a... you know (48:00) Veterans, police, and the career cost of asking for help (51:00) Why getting help is treated as proof you're a liability — and why that's backwards (55:00) Self-publishing, crowdfunding, and why Jen is done asking permission (57:00) In the time of this episode, 83 people will have died by suicide LINKS & RESOURCES Three Percent Website: https://threepercentco.com/ Join The Basement (private community + reflection guides): https://threepercentco.com/membership Jen Butler's Website: https://www.jenbutlersays.com/ Jen Butler on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jenbutlersays/ Volume Control by Jen Butler (buy the book): http://volumecontrolbook.com Free PDF from Stay — "Tricks for Rough Brain Days": sign up at https://jenbutlersays.kit.com/pdf-justfortoday 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988 — https://988lifeline.org/ KEYWORDS Three Percent Podcast, Jen Butler, Volume Control, Stay, suicide awareness, suicide prevention, suicidality, mental health, men's mental health, addiction, recovery, sobriety, emotional regulation, trauma, shame, stigma, veterans mental health, self-publishing, holistic masculinity, personal growth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the most dangerous thing we can do around suicide isn't talking about it — but refusing to?
September is Suicide Awareness Month, and Jamie and Blake are kicking it off with someone they describe as the most accessible voice on this topic they've ever encountered: Jen Butler — real talk writer, comedian, and author of Volume Control — who has spent years refusing to let shame keep this conversation small. Both Blake and Jamie share openly from their own stories in this episode. Blake attempted suicide at 17. Jamie has experienced passive suicidality. Jen has had multiple attempts, multiple psych ward stays, and years of addiction underneath it all. And yet somehow this episode is also funny. Warm. Honest in a way that makes you feel less alone rather than more afraid.
Jen traces her story from a heartbreak at 14 in a Burger King parking lot, to a cancer diagnosis at 22 and the narcotic pain pills that followed, to two psych ward stints, breast implant illness, disordered eating, and finally — sobriety, courtesy of a poet with a man bun. She talks about what it took to write Volume Control — a choose-your-own-emotional-regulation guidebook she built over six years by writing letters to her future self from her darkest places — and previews her next book, Stay, which publishers keep loving and refusing at the same time, because the word suicide makes everyone nervous. The irony is not lost on her.
If you've ever had the thought that you just didn't want to be here anymore — or you love someone who has — this episode will give you language, permission, and a little bit of relief.
If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988.
 
KEY TAKEAWAYS
<ul>
 <li>Why not talking about suicide is the most dangerous thing we can do — not the other way around</li>
 <li>How suicidality is really just one expression of a universal human instinct: discomfort is loud, we want comfort</li>
 <li>Why a suicide attempt doesn't automatically lead to a shift — and what actually has to change</li>
 <li>What "the volume turned up on life" means and why some people feel everything louder than others</li>
 <li>How Jen built Volume Control — six years of letters to her future self, organized by emotional state</li>
</ul>
CHAPTERS
(00:00) Cold open: the reason I got sober was a poet with a man bun
(02:00) Kicking off Suicide Awareness Month — and why Jen is the perfect guest
(05:00) Introducing Jen Butler: real talk writer, comedian, not afraid of the dark stuff
(07:00) Volume turned up on life: what it's like to feel everything louder than everyone else
(08:00) First thoughts of suicide at 14 — heartbreak, a Burger King parking lot, and no language for the pain
(10:00) Cancer at 22, pain pills, and finding the blend that numbed the discomfort
(11:00) First attempt at 23 — and why getting a clean bill of health was the trigger
(13:00) Being a victim is cozy — Jen, Jamie, and Blake on the seductive comfort of that identity
(15:00) Blake shares his own attempt at 17 and what was underneath it
(17:00) Suicidality as binary thinking — the same switch that fires at a bad job or a rough relationship
(21:00) The psych ward experience, and why leaving didn't change anything
(25:00) Getting sober at 27 — and then three years of white-knuckling through breast implant illness
(29:00) Writing letters to future Jen — the six-year origin story of Volume Control
(34:00) How to use Volume Control: zero through 11, the feely-wheely, and a choose-your-own-adventure table of contents
(37:00) Stay — the new book, the subtitle, and the publishing world's fear of the word suicide
(44:00) Platforms, shadowbans, and why even the word gets blurred like a photo of a... you know
(48:00) Veterans, police, and the career cost of asking for help
(51:00) Why getting help is treated as proof you're a liability — and why that's backwards
(55:00) Self-publishing, crowdfunding, and why Jen is done asking permission
(57:00) In the time of this episode, 83 people will have died by suicide
 
LINKS &amp; RESOURCES
<ul>
 <li>Three Percent Website: <a href="https://threepercentco.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer">https://threepercentco.com/</a></li>
 <li>Join The Basement (private community + reflection guides): <a href="https://threepercentco.com/membership" rel="noopener noreferrer">https://threepercentco.com/membership</a></li>
 <li>Jen Butler's Website: <a href="https://www.jenbutlersays.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer">https://www.jenbutlersays.com/</a></li>
 <li>Jen Butler on Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/jenbutlersays/" rel="noopener noreferrer">https://www.instagram.com/jenbutlersays/</a></li>
 <li>Volume Control by Jen Butler (buy the book): <a href="http://volumecontrolbook.com" rel="noopener noreferrer">http://volumecontrolbook.com</a></li>
 <li>Free PDF from Stay — "Tricks for Rough Brain Days": sign up at <a href="https://jenbutlersays.kit.com/pdf-justfortoday" rel="noopener noreferrer">https://jenbutlersays.kit.com/pdf-justfortoday</a></li>
 <li>988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988 — <a href="https://988lifeline.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer">https://988lifeline.org/</a></li>
</ul>
KEYWORDS
Three Percent Podcast, Jen Butler, Volume Control, Stay, suicide awareness, suicide prevention, suicidality, mental health, men's mental health, addiction, recovery, sobriety, emotional regulation, trauma, shame, stigma, veterans mental health, self-publishing, holistic masculinity, personal growth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="noopener noreferrer">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

Permission to Talk About It — Suicide, Shame, and Stay with Jen Butler

Welcome to Three Percent! This is your space if you’re on a journey of pursuing holistic masculinity, growing your emotional awareness, and cultivating deeper relationships and an authentic faith. 
We’re here to provide evidence-based guidance and proven strategies drawn from our experiences as therapists, friends, and mentors.
We aren’t here to give you gimmicks or superficial “hacks.” We’re not telling you who to be, we're helping you uncover what gets in the way of being the man you want to be and offering you the authentic tools needed for tangible growth.
We're glad you're here. Keep coming back. You're worth it.
 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

Welcome to Three Percent! This is your space if you’re on a journey of pursuing holistic masculinity, growing your emotional awareness, and cultivating deeper relationships and an authentic faith. We’re here to provide evidence-based guidance and proven strategies drawn from our experiences as therapists, friends, and mentors. We aren’t here to give you gimmicks or superficial “hacks.” We’re not telling you who to be, we're helping you uncover what gets in the way of being the man you want to be and offering you the authentic tools needed for tangible growth. We're glad you're here. Keep coming back. You're worth it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Three Percent! This is your space if you’re on a journey of pursuing holistic masculinity, growing your emotional awareness, and cultivating deeper relationships and an authentic faith. 
We’re here to provide evidence-based guidance and proven strategies drawn from our experiences as therapists, friends, and mentors.
We aren’t here to give you gimmicks or superficial “hacks.” We’re not telling you who to be, we're helping you uncover what gets in the way of being the man you want to be and offering you the authentic tools needed for tangible growth.
We're glad you're here. Keep coming back. You're worth it.
 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="noopener noreferrer">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

Introducing Three Percent

Welcome to Three Percent. This is your space if you’re on a journey of pursuing holistic masculinity, growing your emotional awareness, and cultivating deeper relationships and an authentic faith. 

We’re here to provide evidence-based guidance and proven strategies drawn from our experiences as therapists, friends, and mentors.

We aren’t here to give you gimmicks or superficial “hacks.” We’re not telling you who to be, we're helping you uncover what gets in the way of being the man you want to be and offering you the authentic tools needed for tangible growth.

Health & Fitness

Mental Health

Welcome to Three Percent. This is your space if you’re on a journey of pursuing holistic masculinity, growing your emotional awareness, and cultivating deeper relationships and an authentic faith. We’re here to provide evidence-based guidance and proven strategies drawn from our experiences as therapists, friends, and mentors. We aren’t here to give you gimmicks or superficial “hacks.” We’re not telling you who to be, we're helping you uncover what gets in the way of being the man you want to be and offering you the authentic tools needed for tangible growth.

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