Thriving Adoptees - Let's Thrive

Feeling like a victim of circumstances - poor little me - is totally normal for us. But we don't want to feel like that. So how do stop feeling that way? Listen in as poet Jill and I explore how we get a clearer sense of ourselves. When I spoke with Jill before we did the recording I knew we'd be in for a big and empowering conversation. Jill really delivered. Enjoy.

Jill Uchiyama (Skufakiss) was born in New York City in 1968. She grew up in Hammond, Indiana and attended Indiana University and Western Michigan University where she received a Master’s Degree in Counseling. Her passion for psychology later turned to a lifelong interest in spirituality. As a long-time meditator and seeker, Ms. Uchiyama draws upon her love of nature, philosophy, education, and life in all of her creative endeavors- including writing, playing music, and filmmaking.

Her first collection of poems, "Out of the Fog," was published in 2022. It was inspired over a lifetime of writing poetry dedicated to her family members- her adopted family and her imagined biological family.  Many of the poems touch upon the closed adoption experience. Prior to writing this first book, Ms. Uchiyama was published in many online magazines including The Huffington Post, The BBC, Apple News, Slate, and Time. She was awarded Quora Top Writer from 2013-2018. 

In 2013, Ms. Uchiyama produced her first Legacy film which appeared at the New Filmmaker's Film Festival in NYC and debuted at Boston University's Tsai Performance Center. She is for hire in order to do films and videography about the personal purpose and meaning of the lives of her Legacy subjects and crafts films that artfully express those stories. Her films have been shared and shown all over the world and are available to watch on Vimeo.

In addition, Ms. Uchiyama has had a 30 year career in human service work- beginning as a family counselor in Lowell, MA- she then became an EFL teacher in Japan from 1996-2001. In Boston, she continued to teach English as a Second Language and then became Director of several educational programs. She has taught people from over 40 countries. 

​Currently, she is a grant writer for the Manchester School District and lives in New Hampshire. Her love for walking and nature has inspired her filmmaking and writing. In 2017, she completed the Camino de Santiago in Spain. Her latest adventure is learning the sitar. 

https://www.jilluchiyama.com/

https://www.facebook.com/jill.uchiyama

https://www.facebook.com/legacyfilmsbyJill

https://www.youtube.com/@jilluchiyama

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jilluchiyama/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Our feeling of loss somehow turns into the belief that there's something wrong with us. It's central to our lives. But what if it's not true? Join adoptee and therapist Joanne as we bust this belief and explore how to improve reunions.

Here's a bit about Joanne from her website:

As a trauma and sex therapist, my work in this field is highly influenced by my education, training, and research in attachment and psychodynamic theories, sexual health, trauma, mindfulness, and somatic psychotherapies such as Family Constellations and Core Energetics. I am licensed as an LCPC in Maryland, an LMHC in New York, and a registered Telehealth provider in Florida and Vermont. I am AASECT certified, and my approach to working with sexuality is focused on sexual health. Additionally, I’m an award-winning professor of psychology and women’s studies at Montgomery College, and the author of “The Feminist Handbook.” Lastly, I am an expert on adoption and mental health in personal injury cases, and I perform immigration psychological evaluations, working directly with attorneys. I have been in practice for 25 years, and I am the founder of Joanne Bagshaw & Associates.

Find out more at:

https://www.joannebagshaw.com/

https://www.joannebagshaw.com/adult-adoptees

https://www.instagram.com/joanne.bagshaw/

https://twitter.com/joanne_bagshaw

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100061304029748

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

If you're a Christian then you're going to love our very first unashamedly Christian interview. Jane goes deep into healing through Christ and I try to follow her. Do I keep up? Well listen in and make your own mind up. Then let me know! She takes a very intimate look at her off and on relationship with Jesus and what 'whole' means to her. Listen and be prepared to be stretched - in a good way. I know the interview stretched me and really enjoy that. Would you like to stretch me with a new take on thriving as an adoptee? Please email me [email protected]

Here's more about Jane:

As a baby sold at birth, I’ve made my way through life asking a lot of questions. Born and sold out of the Hicks Clinic in McCaysville, Georgia, to a couple from Akron, Ohio, as you can imagine, I grew up always looking for answers. I’ve made my way as an investigator, first as a novice and then as a professional. Gaining an education in English and Criminal Justice from the University of Akron.

Beginning in the private sector in my late teens, cutting my teeth with basic private investigations research casework, to surveillance for workers compensation fraud and continuing with my work in birth family search, I’ve covered all the bases of working with people and situations. Today I’m considered a subject matter expert in the field of black market adoption search, my expertise is contributed to the decades in the making, unraveling of the mystery of the Hicks Clinic.

I was the first adoptee to search for the truth of what went on at the Hicks Clinic and broke the case and subsequent story in 1997. 
My personal birth search, as well as, acting as a search facilitator and representative for those sold by Doctor Thomas Hicks, has personalized my expertise and reputation. Today, I continue to assist those who are still bound to the Hicks Clinic and looking for answers. I’ve found most of what I was looking for, but not how I ended up at the clinic in the first place. The search of what happened in the clinic will not end until the deception which has marked everyone it touches, is burned off and truth restored. Truth that is owed to all of us lost and torn from the Hicks Clinic.

https://www.janeblasio.com/

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063382950567

https://www.instagram.com/janeblasiobonafide/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Coming out of the fog is often a painful experience. Trauma threatens to engulf us. The narrative from society or our adoptive parents is revealed to be lies. So what's healing? How do we heal? Where's the hope? Listen in adoptee and therapist Marcella shares illuminating insights.

Here's more about Marcella from her website:

I began my work in the mental health field working with children and adolescents in the public school system, as well as working with refugee and immigrant families in the city of Buffalo. Additionally, I worked in a clinical outpatient mental health setting working with Spanish and English speaking individuals of all ages and their families with a range of mental/emotional health needs. 

Within my private practice I offer therapy services and consultation focued on the areas of attachment, complexities of international and domestic adoption and foster care, dissociation through the lifespan and complex trauma.

I utilize a strengths based and trauma informed approach and incorporate evidence based practices including EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), Progressive Counting, Safe and Sound Protocol, Brainspotting, IFS (internal family systems)/Ego states/parts work and various play therapy modalities into my work with individuals and families. I am a certified EMDR therapist and Approved Consultant through EMDRIA and a registered play therapist through the Association for Play Therapy.

I strive to provide a therapeutic environment that promotes acceptance, understanding and growth and will work collaboratively with you/your family to achieve goals. It takes courage to seek help; it is my mission to empower clients/families to take steps to create a healthier, more balanced life.

Find out more at:

https://www.marcellamoslow.com/

https://www.instagram.com/marcellamoslow/

https://www.facebook.com/marcella.moslow

Adoptees Dish podcast https://open.spotify.com/show/1C22L0oLf7yHbYkQ27CzxS

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Here's the link to Pamela's interview:

https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/finding-happiness-within-with-pamela-karanova

Here's the link to the podcast about us being more than molecules.

https://www.simonmundie.com/blog/challenging-the-mainstream-model-of-reality-bernardo-katdrup

Some words from Miguel:

Before there was my adoption, there was my relinquishment. And here is something I have believed about myself since I was a child, since before I knew I was an alcoholic: My birthmother took one look at me and knew that I was worthless and unlovable and unredeemable. She didn’t want to keep me because she knew something was wrong with me.

(I know that this absolutely isn’t true, and that my birthmother loved me very much and made a very difficult choice. But this is what I have told myself.)

Adoptees & Addiction is a peer led support group. We are NOT an official 12 step program or officially aligned with any. Most members are a part of AA or NA or OA or SLA or have been in the past, but it's absolutely not a requirement for being a member.

Most members would say that the power of the group comes from being in a meeting where you don't have to explain anything about being an adoptee, where you can talk about adoptee issues or addiction issues without fear of judgment or misunderstanding and with lots of heads actually nodding in recognition along with what you're saying.

Find out more at:

https://www.adopteesandaddiction.com/

Email Miguel - [email protected]

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Time is not the greatest healer. So what is? Aha moments. Those moments when we see something new for ourselves. Insights. Quite literally sights from within. And insights from others can catalyse insights in us. Listen in as adoptee, therapist and birth mother Abby shares some of her most profound aha moments. They helped me see things I'd not seen before. I'm sure they'll do the same for you.

Dr. Abigail Hasberry splits residence in Texas and Maryland. Her work focuses on examining and developing a person's identity, experiences, passions, and support networks. Abby prides herself on being able to support people as they plan to meet and exceed their potential. She provides a safe and supportive space where her clients are guided to growth by enhancing their confidence, knowledge base, and network. Dr. Hasberry deeply understands her clients’ passions and listens for the things that are not said. "I am also my clients’ biggest cheerleader and problem solver all at once."  

https://www.instagram.com/d.e.a.r._abby/

https://www.instagram.com/d.e.a.r._abby/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/abigailhasberry/

https://twitter.com/DEARAbbyEdu

https://dearabbyllc.org/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

So many of us feel stuck. Unable to move on. Frustrated. Aching. Suffering. Our trauma is preverbal - so we have no words for it. How can we talk about it in talk therapy? How can we heal? Ellianna shares what's helped her heal. Profound. Uplifting. Healing.

Here's a link to the interview with Emma Stevens:

https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/freedom-with-emma-stevens

Here's a link to the book about a spontaneous healing from cancer:

https://www.amazon.com/Dying-Be-Me-Journey-Healing/dp/B09RY5S44R/

You can contact her at:

elliejaved @ gmail.com

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

For adopted individuals to be empowered to advocate for their healthcare needs, medical providers must know how to interact in an adoption identity affirming manner and create an environment where patients feel safe discussing their biological history. This episode brings together pediatrician Elaine and 2 transracial adoptees Ramya and Julia to discuss advocating for our own health.

Julia Small, MS III is a transracial adoptee from Hunan, China who was raised in Topsfield, Massachusetts. She is also a third year medical student at University of Massachusetts Chan Medical School. Julia is enrolled in the Population-based Urban and Rural Community Health (PURCH) track, a pathway that focuses on healthcare disparities, underserved populations and social determinants of health. One of her greatest passions is fighting for equity and social justice through grassroots advocacy, public policy and education reform. She has a particular interest in minority affairs and child and elderly welfare. She aspires to bring to light the experiences and challenges faced by adopted patients in the healthcare setting.

https://twitter.com/julialsmall12

https://www.linkedin.com/in/juliasmall/

Ramya Gruneisen, MS is a transracial adoptee living in St. Louis, Missouri. She has a found a passion in sharing her story and educating adoption agencies and adoptive/prospective families on adoption. She works in Public Health for the United States Committee for Refugees and Immigrants (USCRI). She works in the Refugee Medical Screening and Refugee Health Promotion programs where she educates service providers on culturally informed and trauma informed care to refugees and immigrants, as well as monitors and reports on public health data for new arrivals. She has found it to be the most lifegiving and humbling work. She also works as an adjunct professor at Lindenwood University in the Health Sciences Department. One of her greatest passions is teaching and sharing her love for health and wellness with others. She loves spending time with her friends and family, climbing mountains and watching the St. Louis Cardinals and Blues play.

https://www.ramyagruneisen.com/

Elaine Schulte, MD, MPH is one of the leading adoption medical experts in the country, having founded one of the earliest, comprehensive adoption programs in the early 1990’s.  She is the Vice Chair for Academic Affairs and Faculty Development at the Children’s Hospital at Montefiore and Professor of Pediatrics. She directs the Adoption Program and provides pre-adoption consultation, post-adoption evaluations and ongoing medical care for adopted children and their families. Dr. Schulte is an active member of the American Academy of Pediatrics Council on Foster Care, Adoption and Kinship Care. She is the author of “Caring for Your Adopted Child; An Essential Guide for Parents” published by the American Academy of Pediatrics.  She has created clinical guidelines and educational programs for pediatricians and adoption agencies and has given numerous national presentations. She has two daughters adopted from China.

https://twitter.com/drelaineschulte

Here's the report that they wrote together:

https://adoptioncouncil.org/publications/family-history-unknown-understanding-adopted-individuals-needs-in-the-healthcare-environment/

Here's the survey to complete if you're an adoptee in the US and share on social media if you'd like to support your fellow adoptees: https://arcsapps.umassmed.edu/redcap/surveys/?s=RY9EM9NCCT

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Trauma goes round and round in a loop for so many of us. So how do we try stop it? Many of us try talk therapy. But much of our trauma is preverbal - it happens literally before we have words. How on earth can we talk to a therapist about our trauma we don't have words for? Listen in as adoptee, clinician and author Julie Lopez challenges how we see healing and dives deep into ending the trauma loop.

Here's more about Julie from her organisation's website:

As a trauma-informed practitioner, Dr. Lopez’s clinical specialty is working with trauma and PTSD. Her subspecialty is in compulsive behaviors.

Dr. Lopez understands addictions to be an effective way to cope with unresolved, internalized traumatic experiences, either discrete or chronic. This coping strategy, while effective at managing the effects of trauma, can have negative consequences that the client may wish to reduce (eating, drinking, shopping, working, sex, etc.).

Dr. Lopez has been qualified as a trauma expert by both legal courts and the media. Her extensive knowledge and training comes from early specialization and immersion in trauma settings. 

Additionally, Dr. Lopez works with phobias, self-injury, implicit (pre-language and pre-developmental) memory, sleep disturbances, low self-esteem, relationship challenges, obsessions, and compulsions.

In 2019, Dr. Lopez released Live Empowered!, a self-help primer on overcoming obstacles using implicit memory. Her expertise has been featured on numerous podcasts, blogs, and more, including The Associated Press, Adoptees On, Author Hour, Yes, And… and more.

https://www.vivapartnership.com/

https://resilientbrainproject.com/

https://www.amazon.com/Live-Empowered-Rewire-Implicit-Business-ebook/dp/B07N2YN1GK

https://www.facebook.com/vivacenter/

https://twitter.com/thevivacenter

https://www.linkedin.com/in/viva-center-dc/

https://www.instagram.com/vivacenterdc

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

The Primal Wound is, for so many of us, the 'bible' because it describes our experience so well. It's so many ways it's the perfect diagnosis. But what if who we TRULY are is unwoundable??? How could that possibly be true. My good friend and regular guest Vin asks me searching questions. Listen in and see if I'm barking up the totally wrong tree. Talking about barking - 10 week old chocolate labrador pup Indie steals the limelight at the end...

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.