Thriving Adoptees - Let's Thrive

Jay Vaughan is a dramatherapist, Theraplay Practitioner & Supervisor, Somatic Experience Practitioner & Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapist.

She was brought up by step parents which sowed some seeds for her work.  Her early experiences working in children's homes set her down a path to help children who've been through trauma and supporting their families. She combines her role of Clinical Director with CEO of Family Futures. She's a keen advocate for more support for adoptive families. 

She shares some great insights into what parents can do support their children through trauma, including a lot on how what we do for ourselves improves our ability to help our kids.

For  more about Jay and Family Futures:

https://www.familyfutures.co.uk/

https://www.facebook.com/FamilyFuturesUK

https://www.linkedin.com/company/family-futures-cic/

https://twitter.com/FamilyFuturesUK

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKtnZBLs7QlH4rK2DUBcamQ

https://www.instagram.com/familyfuturesuk/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Adam Pertman is President, CEO and Founder of the National Center on Adoption and Permanency, a unique national nonprofit organization that provides research, resources, education, training, consulting and advocacy to improve the lives of children, families and the professionals who serve them. NCAP’s mission is to update child welfare policy and practice in the U.S. so that they progress beyond their traditional “child-placement” model to a new paradigm focused on enabling children and their families to succeed.

His personal and professional experience brings a unique perspective to parents who are struggling or looking for more for their children and families. With safety and permanency established the focus is on understanding the unique needs of your family and the resources, education and support for you to succeed.

If you're curious and ready for a fresh take on what success is all about then you're going to want to tune into the wisdom of a modest leader with a huge amount to share. 

Find out more about Adam, his work and the organisation he leads at 

https://twitter.com/adampertman

www.ncap-us.org

Book on Amazon UK

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Adoption-Nation-Revolution-Transforming-Families-ebook/dp/B005R9E802/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=adam+pertman&qid=1620038187&sr=8-2

Book on Amazon USA

https://www.amazon.com/Adoption-Nation-Revolution-Transforming-Families-ebook/dp/B005R9E802/ref=sr_1_4?dchild=1&keywords=adam+pertman&qid=1620038264&sr=8-4

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Years ago people were locked up for saying they heard voices in their head but I've yet to meet someone who doesn't have one.

They may not have realised it's not them. They may not have realised they have one. But they ALL have one. 

The negative voice in my head, the inner critic, the internal terrorist, the enemy within me started squawking early in my life. It really ramped up after some particularly nasty bullying when I was at scout camp.

It grew louder as I grew older. Being adopted gave me a very specific and powerful reason to believe it. I did a million and one things to silence it. They didn't work. It just got louder as I fought back. In 2009 I finally learned what to do.

Find out more at www.thrivingadoptees.com

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Nancy Verrier's seminal book the Primal Wound is much read and talked about in the adoption world.

It had a profound effect on me. But not for the reason you might expect. This video challenges the theme of the book in a way that runs counter to a lot of thinking. That challenging might just give you a glimpse of hope. If it does that for one person I'll be delighted.

More hope, understanding and challenge at

www.thrivingadoptees.com

https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com

https://www.facebook.com/simonjbenn/

https://twitter.com/_simonbenn

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Anna grew up biological siblings, an adoptive sister and a sister who her parents fostered. They also fostered many pre adoption babies. Her early years fuelled a desire to desire to help others. She studied to become a social worker and has specialised in adoption since 1988. She's now CEO of Adoption Focus a voluntary adoption agency.

There's a lot of negative narratives about adoption and Anna shares her insights on rising above this and ignoring the noise to  thrive. She talks about coping with the extra dimension that adoption brings to family life and creating stability as the basis for  setting children up for life.

She also covers how nothing is static in family life and how seeing that helps us roll with the changes and adapt to thrive. The conversation opens up to look at our innate resilience as we share fresh, deep perspectives that challenge societal views about adoption and empower listeners. 

Her unique perspective helps adopters relax into the parenting so they can worry less, be more confident and thrive.

For more on Anna and Adoption Focus:

https://www.facebook.com/AdoptionFocus/

https://twitter.com/AdoptionFocus

https://www.instagram.com/adoptionfocus/

https://www.adoption-focus.org.uk/

https://www.linkedin.com/company/adoptionfocus/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Phyllis and her husband always knew that having children and adoption were going to be part of their life. They thought that their love would be enough for their children  to thrive. But they found out fairly soon that it wasn't enough. Nothing was working. One eye opening moment was reading her daughter's diary where she shared her the dark thoughts  and feelings.  Phylis took it upon herself to find out everything she could about her kids, adoption, trauma and special needs. 

She shares a whole host of gems on:

• self-awareness and seeing the need to change
• equipping yourself with the knowledge to help your children thrive
• empathy and tailoring your parenting to each child
• being there in the tough times and helping your children see hope.

Find out more about the free conference on April 24th 2021:

https://togetherasadoptiveparentsinc.regfox.com/renewrefreshrefocus

Find out more about Phylis and get in touch with her:

http://pa.taplink.org/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Mike and Kristin's passion is helping parents be the best parents they can be. They explain exactly what that means and how that helps children thrive:

• Feeling connected to their culture
• Having discovered their identity
• Recognising past trauma and feeling whole
• Having a purpose and making a positive impact on the world.

To do that they discuss some big principles and specific practical help based on errors that they've learned from the "school of hard knocks"

For more about their conference:

https://honestlyadoption.com/insight

For their show where I guested:

https://honestlyadoption.com/how-to-help-your-children-move-to-a-place-of-thriving/honestly-adoption-podcast-simon-benn/

Here's links to find out more

• Blog- www.confessionsofanadoptiveparent.com 

• Podcast- www.honestlyadoption.com 

• Facebook- www.facebook.com/confessionsofanadoptiveparent 

• Instagram- www.instagram.com/confessionsofaparent 

• Youtube- www.youtube.com/confessionsofanadoptiveparent 

• Twitter- https://twitter.com/HonestlyAdopt

• Email- [email protected] 

Mike and Kristin Berry are authors, bloggers, speakers, parent coaches, adoptive parents, and former foster parents. 

They are passionate about reaching adoptive and foster parents around the globe with a message of hope and transformation. 

They are the creators of the award-winning blog www.confessionsofanadoptiveparent.com which has a global audience of more than 150,000 people every month, and the award-winning podcast The Honestly Adoption Podcast which averages 20,000 downloads a month.

Kristin is the author of 3 books including Born Broken: An Adoptive Journey, Honestly Adoption: Answers To 101 Questions About Adoption and Foster Care (co-authored with Mike), and Keep The Doors Open: A Year In The Life Of A Foster Parent. Mike is the author of 4 books including, Confessions Of An Adoptive Parent: Hope and Help From The Trenches Of Foster Care And Adoption, Winning The Heart Of Your Child: 9 Keys To Building A Positive Lifelong Relationship With Your Kids, Replanted: Faith-Based Support For Foster and Adoptive Families (co-authored with Josh and Jenn Hook), and Honestly Adoption: Answers To 101 Questions About Adoption And Foster Care (co-authored with Kristin). They have been married for 20 years and have 8 children, all of whom are adopted. They live on a farm in Indiana.

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

"Why am I sitting here all by myself?"  asked  her son. Sue and her husband had to wait 4 years when biology wouldn't give their son a sister to make their family complete. 

Sue fell in love with her daughter and adoption.  It changed her life. Then it changed her career. That gives her a unique perspective she's delighted to share with others.

• How thriving as parents helps children thrive too and some essential shifts in perspective she's seen for herself.
• Lots of simple and practical steps mums and dads can take to help themselves thrive.
• The latest research on what adopted youngsters say that they want to thrive.

Sue oversees the charity’s strategic direction, ensuring that the voice of adopters is recognized within key legislative decisions, and leading the development of the organisation.

Sue has a 25-year track record of helping charities achieve their goals with government. A charity director and lead advocate, Sue has previously worked with prominent NGOs including the RSPB and Green Alliance, as well as being a charity trustee and an independent strategy and policy advisor.

You can find out more about the charity she leads here:

Website  https://www.adoptionuk.org

Twitter - @adoptionuk Adoption UK (@AdoptionUK) / Twitter

Facebook – Adoption UK https://www.facebook.com/AdoptionUK

Instagram - Adoption UK (@adoption.uk) • Instagram photos and videos

Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/company/3614171

YouTube - (3) Adoption UK - YouTube

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Spencer's uplifting story starts with 11 failed placements including one stillborn child, his wife's two bouts of cancer  and countless miserable sleepless nights.  But the couple were always coming from love so they just keep going. More than anything else, they wanted to share their hearts and home with children - loving them like children are meant to be loved.  

He shares what he's learned on the back of painful experience -  insights on the big issues on adoptive parents' minds:

• Recognising and handling any grief at not being able to create a child that looks like us.
• Getting through the trickiest of times, taking the learnings and moving on.
• What children need to know to thrive and rise above challenges they may face in life.
• Being open with children about what they're from and  the reasons for the adoption.
• Building relationships with birth mothers and their families for better adoptions.
• Seeing our own resilience and sharing that with our children.

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.

Thriving Adoptees is a new podcast to inspire and empower adoptees and adopters. The aim - all adoptees thrive.  Each episode explores how to make that happen with stories, interviews and insights from adopters, adoptees and leaders in adoption.

So why I'm doing this?

I was adopted at 5 weeks old and told about it so young I don't ever remember not knowing. 

I didn't suffer any adoption trauma until I hit 40 when I found out my childhood teddy bear was a gift from my birth mother.

This caused an eruption of anger, feeling rejected and unloved kickstarting a learning journey that led me to heal and then want to help others. That's why I created the podcast.

Website https://www.thrivingadoptees.com/

Twitter https://twitter.com/_simonbenn

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/simonjbenn

Linkedin https://www.linkedin.com/in/simonjbenn/

Guests and the host are not (unless mentioned) licensed pscyho-therapists and speak from their own opinion only. Seek qualified advice if you need help.