Time to Lean by Laura Danger and Crystal Britt

06.26.2024

how can we get the whole family to see the work?

In this week's episode, we discuss how we can course-correct when balance arrives, but the perception of it is still skewed. What work is being noticed? What is being ignored? What can we do to shift the narrative, especially with...

06.19.2024

is it "over-packing" or is it making sure we have a good time?

In this week's episode, we discuss the challenges of packing! Why do we pack what we pack? What goes into the process, and why? Packing is a task that's full to the brim with care, consideration, and preparation. A well-planned,...

06.12.2024

RE-RELEASE: someone on the internet said screens were BAD, is that true? with the Gamer Educator!

Ash Brandin, @thegamereducator, joins Laura and Crystal to talk about the nuances surrounding screens. A video recently went viral on Tiktok where a creator made some serious claims about the harms of screens. Ash chats with us about how you...

06.05.2024

what if my needs are making him want to crawl out of his skin?

In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss a listener question. She had a friend to visit for a few days and it ended very poorly. What is she supposed to do if she's dying for connection and the way she's...

05.29.2024

isn't that just called being a mom?

In this episode, Laura and Crystal dive into executive function, anxiety spirals and the complicated space of trying to emotionally regulate as a parent with your emotionally dysregulated kids. ⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon!⁠⁠⁠⁠ Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura...

05.22.2024

is the diabolical lie that we can work or stay home?

In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss the speech Kansas City Chiefs kicker, Harrison Butker, gave at a Catholic university's commencement ceremony. In it, he states that women have been "diabolically lied to," and we agree, but not in the...

05.15.2024

are "boy rooms" really all that messy?

In this episode, Laura and Crystal talk about "Boy Room", a show by Rachel Coster. It's an Instagram series that explores the messy and often disturbing world of boy bedrooms in New York City. Comedian Rachel Coster interviews men in...

05.08.2024

the best part about being a dad is not being a mom.

In this episode, we hear a clip from a podcast where a man VERY PROUDLY explains that he only changes diapers if he's in a good mood, doesn't wake up with the babies during the night and acts like a...

05.01.2024

why is knowing everything MY job?

In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss the mental load of parenting and the learning that is often assumed by partners socialized as female. We also talk community building through gardening, and, of course, neurodivergence! ⁠⁠Join our Patreon!⁠⁠ Download resources...

04.17.2024

am i the a-hole for choosing the bride over my friend?

In this week's episode, we look at an AITA where someone's caught in a sticky friendship/family situation chock full of emotional labor. We talk about friendship, family, communication and empathy and all of the nuance that exists in our relationships....

04.10.2024

what if i sacrificed my identity to serve my family?

Laura and Crystal discuss submissions from our audience concerning loss of identity through self-sacrificing. Can we serve others, enjoy it, without sacrificing or losing who we are?Mentioned in this episode: Financial Abuse ResourcesFresh Starts Registry Mikki Kendall ⁠⁠Join our...

03.31.2024

is it a case for older men or is it a case for girl bossing?

Crystal and Laura discuss a viral article from The Cut titled 'The Case for Marrying an Older Man'. The article argues that marrying an older man provides women with ease, flexibility, and liberation from the burdens of womanhood. Is that...

03.27.2024

what if he's trying, but it still isn't working?

In this episode, we discuss a listener's email--she wants to know what to do if her partner is on board but, because of his ADHD, isn't able to follow through. We also touch on our own examples of how each...

03.13.2024

i'm fine, so why are you mad?

In this episode, we discuss common commentary along the lines of, "I'm not sure why you're so upset! I do what you ask. I never make demands of you. I'm fine, so it kind of seems like you're maybe just...

03.06.2024

Is Love truly Blind??

By popular demand, Laura and Crystal review Love is Blind, season 6! Just in time for the finale, get all the hot takes on the newest season! ⁠⁠⁠⁠You can find us on Patreon!⁠⁠⁠⁠ Download resources and read more from...

02.28.2024

but what if they're doing it the wrong way?

Laura and Crystal discuss a comment left on Instagram--what happens when a partner insists on doing something in the house the "right" way? How do you tell if it's for a bigger reason than preference? Listen to find out! ⁠⁠⁠⁠You...

02.21.2024

wait, what is the internet for?

In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss a viral video, separation anxiety, and the existential crisis that is the internet. Join us in the fray! Mentioned in this episode: Danielle Bayard Jackson Ashley Simpo ⁠⁠⁠⁠You can find us...

02.14.2024

shouldn't i just be grateful?

Laura and Crystal discuss a listener's question that we hear all. the. time. "if my partner is better than they used to be, shouldn't I just be grateful?" ⁠⁠⁠⁠You can find us on Patreon!⁠⁠⁠⁠ Download resources and read...

02.07.2024

what if your values don't align?

In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss the reality show 'Welcome to Plathville' and the recent divorce of Olivia and Ethan Plath. They explore the high-control environment and fundamentalist Christianity portrayed in the show, as well as the impact of...

01.31.2024

why are love languages so insidious?

In this episode, Laura interviews Crystal about the Love Languages episode (yes, we're still talking about it!) And they also discuss how "checklist advice" hurts men more than women. Mentioned in this episode: Man Discovers Wife's Journals After Her Death...

01.17.2024

what if love languages are bulls**t?

In this episode, Crystal and Michael Vaughn (@world.shaker) discuss the Five Love Languages, and how it has the potential to damage your relationship! Find Michael at beacons.ai/worldshaker Mentioned in this episode: I love the way you love me: Responding...

01.10.2024

what does a woman drive you to do?

In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss a WILD answer to a question on an old episode of Family Feud. Why isn't it funny? Mentioned in this episode: Emotional Labor Workshop Recording and Resource with Rose Hackman ShiShi...

01.03.2024

what happens when your partner lets you down?

In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss a viral video when a partner asked her husband to do ONE THING--and he couldn't do it right. What do you do when you ask for help and are let down? Mentioned...

12.27.2023

Can a situational hostage ever really win?

In this week's episode, we talk about the pillars of the "Man Box", discuss a viral prank and cover the topic of "situational hostages". Have you ever been put into a position where you have to suppress your own discomfort...

12.20.2023

Should you lie about who's giving you gifts?

In this week's episode, Crystal and Laura take a listener question. If you've been lying about getting gifts from your spouse for years, at what point do you stop? Your kids probably know by now, right? Maybe? What would YOU...

12.13.2023

Do You Have Oldest Daughter Syndrome?

In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss Oldest Daughter Syndrome, enmeshment, boundaries and Mama's Boys. As a reminder, information presented in this podcast is NOT a replacement for individualized mental health treatment! Thanks to our sponsor for this episode,...

12.07.2023

Is it funny to joke about domestic violence?

**TW: Domestic violence and sexual assault In this week's episode, Crystal and Laura talk about Matt Rife's now-famous domestic violence joke from his Netflix special and provide an example of an how a comedian can make a joke about...

12.06.2023

Introducing: Time to Lean

Educator Laura Danger and therapist Crystal Britt tackle your household messes. We provide unsolicited advice to tiktokers and reality tv couples and answer anonymous calls and questions from listeners like you! Send in an anonymous question and we'll propose solutions. ...

11.30.2023

I have anxiety and he has ADHD! Now what?

In this week's episode, Crystal and Laura take a caller question about ADHD, executive function and standards. They also chat about "sad dad apartments" and share a few resources like their holiday toolkit and Crystal's Fair Play for Neurodivergent Couples...

11.22.2023

Do you HAVE to have sex?

We can't wait for you to listen to this one--are you obligated to have sex with a partner, just because they're your partner? In this episode, Laura and Crystal talk about the nuances of consent, pillars of safe sex, and...

11.16.2023

Am I a Bad Wife, Bad Mom, Bad Feminist BAD BAD BAD?

In this episode, Crystal and Laura talk about a trending video where a mother-in-law takes over when the wife is away! They also talk about the self-loathing trap when everyone and everyone encourages you to "just be grateful" for what...

11.09.2023

What if my life changed and theirs stayed the same?

In this episode, Laura and Crystal share a clip that celebrates all of the things working mothers do and share an email from a follower. The topic: my life is different, but theirs is the same as it always has...

11.02.2023

What's Your Tolerable Level of Permanent Unhappiness?

In this episode, Laura and Crystal take a listener message and discuss what happens when a partner isn't interested in your hobby. We talk about different types of problems in relationships, as well as personal examples of these problems in...

10.26.2023

Men Get to "Opt Out" of Childcare?

In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss two articles that are VERY different in the way they talk about men and women and childcare (or lack there of). Don't forget to rate and subscribe wherever you listen! Resources from this...

10.25.2023

Who Gets a Sick Day?

In this episode, Laura and Crystal take a listener message and share a viral video. The topic: what's the deal with some people having access to rest and others not? Is it fair that one person can step away and...

10.19.2023

What would you do if your partner kept something BIG from you?

In this week's episode, Laura tells Crystal all about what happened in a bombshell episode of 90 Day Fiance, The Last Resort. Have you ever made a decision you've kept from a partner? What happened when they found...

10.11.2023

Are you hiding out in the bathroom right now?

Laura and Crystal talk about hiding out in the bathroom! They do a bit of over-sharing but in the name of discussing the old trope that dads are always hiding out in the bathroom. They also talk about the value...

09.28.2023

What if I can't leave?--Building Community

This week, Crystal and Laura take a question from a listener who is wondering how to keep herself afloat because her partner isn't interested in changing. Resources Mentioned: Books Mentioned on This Episode Have a domestic dilemma or question?...

09.21.2023

Dealing with a father-in-law

Laura & Crystal discuss a listener's question, where her FATHER-IN-LAW suggests her kids need her to work less...but she and her husband split work evenly. What now? Resources Mentioned: Books Mentioned on This Episode Download resources and read more from...

09.13.2023

Why are we obsessed with Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner?

Why are we obsessed with divorce? And why did dresses not have pockets until recently?! These answers and more on this week's episode with guest Olivia Dreizen, CEO of Fresh Starts Registry. Resources Mentioned: Fresh Starts Registry Follow Olivia...

09.07.2023

Does capitalism ruin everything?

A listener writes in to ask if there's any other recourse when her partner will only take on domestic labor if his family is watching

08.31.2023

When is it okay to "blast them" on the internet?

How do we feel about wife strikes? How do we feel about shaming partners on the internet? All your burning questions answered in this episode! Resources Mentioned: Cindy Ditiberio's Post Post-Partnership Books Mentioned on This Episode Have a domestic dilemma...

08.23.2023

All Moms Work: Debunking the Scams of Motherhood with Raena Boston

We're so excited to welcome Raena Boston to the podcast! This episode has everything--gentrification, capitalism, racism, unpaid maternity leave that leads to paid paternity leave, and the scam of having it all. Resources Mentioned: Raena Boston - The Working...

08.16.2023

Is housework skilled work that's worth learning?

In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss a voicemail submitted by a male listener--who says he never considered that caregiving work could be a skill that could be practiced and learned. Is it worth learning? Resources Mentioned: Books Mentioned on...

08.10.2023

Are your standards a "you problem"?

In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss a TikTok that recently went viral--over paper plates versus real dinner plates. Is making the little decisions something we should "JUST GET OVER" or is there an opportunity for connection there? Resources Mentioned:...

07.26.2023

If it's so hard, why don't you work and I'LL stay home??

Have you ever heard or had a partner tell you directly, "Well if you hate taking care of the kids so much, why don't YOU work and I'LL stay home and relax?" Laura Danger and Crystal Britt discuss this zero-sum...

07.19.2023

Mommy FB Groups and Daddy Dumb-Dumbs

HEY MAMA! Join Crystal and Laura in this episode to talk about the dark recesses of the internet known as Mommy FB Groups to touch on the inequity of educating parents on...parenting. Mentioned in this Episode: Kier Gainess on...

07.12.2023

What if he says this isn't fair?

In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss a listener-submitted question: She wonders if, after being the default partner for 20 years, her husband is justified in complaining that their proposed housework split isn't 50/50? What do you think? Resources/Sources...

07.05.2023

It's All Made Up - A Shiny Happy Breakdown Part 2

In this episode, Laura and Crystal continue their conversation around Amazon Prime Video's "Shiny Happy People" documentary mini-series which focuses on the Duggars and the way The Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP) turned a TLC show into ministry. ...

06.28.2023

Married Single Motherhood?

In this episode, Laura and Crystal talk with Kate Adelle, a single mom, about the concept of "married single mothers." In response to a recent IG story shared by Crystal, Kate talks about how she has been impacted by single...