In this continuation of our discussion on trauma bonding from last week, we’re bringing a second topic into the mix: over-functioning.

Over-functioning in relationships is a pattern where one person tends to take on all the thoughts, feelings, and responsibilities for both people in the relationship. It’s a way of establishing a sense of control – a common result in cases of trauma bonding where the balance of control is disproportionate.

A lot of times we miss the signs of over-functioning, particularly within relationships in recovery, because we don’t really see that it’s not healthy. It can be tricky to identify if you’re a natural caregiver. We think that’s how we should be functioning, or we may use it as a way to manage (ie: avoid) our own feelings.

So how do you move forward once you recognize patterns of over-functioning in yourself?