Liz and Michelle are joined in this episode by Melinda Messenger, mum of three adult children who is a former Page Three girl and TV presenter. In 2015 she began practising as a qualified psychotherapist. In early April, with The Adventure Boutique, she is taking part in a trek to support the Liang Tang region of Nepal, which was devastated by an earthquake in 2015. And It’s not too late for you to join her!

Melinda provides an insight into what it was like to be a Page Three glamour model, including how her view about doing that type of work changed over time. She also talks about her work as a transpersonal integrative psychotherapist. They also discuss the ups and downs of being a parent, personal relationships, and why dating apps are not for her.

KEY TAKEAWAYS 

• Despite being willing to model topless, Melinda now realises that it was still a kind of exploitation.
• Be mindful of what you let into your life and where you let it in from, including on social media.
• Identify the things that drain your energy and stay away from them.
• The transpersonal is the part of us that is greater than just our psychological makeup. Who we are underneath it all.
• Being able to identify behavioural patterns helps you to identify the root of your issues, which is essential if you want things to change.
• Melinda helps people to untangle the threads and facilitates people healing to regain control over their lives.

BEST MOMENTS 

“I was also complicit in exploiting myself, in a sense.”

“When people comment it is a reflection of how they view life, themselves, and others. It's actually got nothing to do with me.”

“Anything that's asking for your attention is either going to take or feed your energy.”

“Life is about navigating between the depths of the ocean and riding the waves.”

“I could use a different name and a different picture, but that’s not really the best start to a new relationship.”

If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, and review it on your podcast platform. We read every email sent to us at [email protected] so please get in touch! Check out our supporting blogs on this topic at www.twowomenchatting.com.

EPISODE RESOURCES  

The Adventure Boutique Website

ABOUT THE GUESTS

Melinda shot to fame after being spotted on a billboard ad she did for a windows firm in Swindon in 1997. It was an advert that made an impact - so much so that all the posters were stolen! 

Despite this vote of confidence, at one stage Melinda felt so self-conscious that she started using heavy makeup to cover up and try to bury those feelings.

She went on to become an English television presenter, glamour model, and Page Three girl. Melinda presented the magazine programme Live from Studio Five and was formerly the co-presenter of the reality show Cowboy Builders.

Mum to three and now an empty nester, she parted ways with her ex-husband Wayne Roberts in 2012, and she admitted last year that she wanted to start dating again.

After quitting regular television work, Melinda undertook training in psychotherapy and has practised since 2015. Now she has a new challenge, taking part in a trek to support the Langtang region of Nepal which was devastated by the 2015 earthquake.

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Imagine your best selling novel being transformed into a huge tv series in the USA. That's what happened to Alexandra Potter, author of Confessions of a Forty-Something F-Up! Her brilliantly funny inter-generational book was optioned by Disney and will premiere on Disney+ and ABC on 7 February (a month or two later in the UK) renamed 'Not Dead Yet'.

Alexandra joins Liz and Michelle to explain how realising that her life, and those of her friends, were nothing like the perfect lives being conveyed on social media inspired her to write her latest novel. This fun episode provides an insight into what is like to have a novel turned into a TV show by one of the biggest entertainment companies in the world and to know that failing doesn't really mean failure.

 KEY TAKEAWAYS 

• At a certain age, women start to become invisible, despite the fact they have so much to offer which is one reason Alexandra made sure she included older female characters in her novel.
• It does not matter if you are in Yorkshire, London, or LA all women have similar relatable experiences and feel the same about things.
• The way society works makes most people feel like failures when, in reality, they are not failing.
• It´s never too late and you are never too old to change and do what you want.

BEST MOMENTS 

“We were talking about James Bond actors .. and who walks in? Timothy Dalton”

“I was looking at all these kinds of amazing lives, perfect lives, everybody was leading. And it looked nothing like the life I was leading.”

“I just think that women when they age, they become invisible… it just drives me nuts”

“It was kind of like Cinderella going to the ball,”

“You don´t have to put these age limits on things,”

If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, and review it on your podcast platform. We read every email sent to us at [email protected] so please get in touch! Check out our supporting blogs on this topic at www.twowomenchatting.com.

EPISODE RESOURCES 

Alexandra Potter Website

ABOUT ALEXANDRA POTTER

Born and raised in Yorkshire, Alexandra lived in Australia and LA for several years before settling back in the UK. Now back in London with her Californian husband and a Bosnian rescue dog, Alexandra loves getting out into nature, trying not to look at her phone, and navigating this thing called mid-life.

Her first novel, What’s New, Pussycat? was published in 2000, a week before her 30th birthday, and immediately made the top ten.

She has written 12 novels to date. Including Be Careful What You Wish For, Me and Mr. Darcy, which won the Best New Fiction Award at the Jane Austen Regency World Awards. As well as Love From Paris which was shortlisted for the RNA Comedy Award.

Her latest novel, Confessions of a Forty-something F##k Up, has now been turned into a tv series by Disney+ for ABC in the States, starring Gina Rodriguez as Nell. The show premieres on 8 February of this year.

“Not Dead Yet" follows Nell Stevens (Rodriguez), a broke and newly single self-described disaster, working to restart the life and career she left behind 10 years ago. When she lands the only job she can find – writing obituaries, Nell starts getting life advice from an unlikely source.”

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Michelle and Liz are joined in this episode by Helen Wills who is the author behind the Actually Mummy website and the host of the Teenage Kicks podcast. A show that is all about navigating teen-related parenting issues. Covering subjects that other blogs, forums, and podcasts tend not to cover. Including self-harm, eating disorders, body image, schizophrenia, sexism, avoiding dating dangers, and much more.

During this three women chatting, (2 women plus a Helen) episode, they discuss why she started the podcast, how it works and how it can help. As well as talking about some of the things Helen, as a midlife woman, does to remain energetic and healthy while looking after her two children and running two very busy businesses as she heads towards an empty nest.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Your teenager going through some horrible life experiences does not mean that the rest of their life will also be awful.
• A lot of parents worry that talking about difficult subjects with their kids will give them ideas. The opposite is true, it is far healthier to be ready to talk about these things.
• Don´t feel you have failed as a parent if your teenager has serious issues.
• Don´t judge other parents who have children that do have problems.
• Teenagers are fantastic, don´t fear parenting a teenager.
• Using bright colours can lift your mood and help you to focus on the positives.
• If you see someone looking good in something, tell them. Most people love it.

BEST MOMENTS 

“There are 1000s of Facebook groups where you can talk about toilet training woes or sleepless nights, but not my child is self-harming, or my child has an eating disorder”.

“I´ve done suicide first aid training and they say… you have to say the word…you have to talk about it... if it´s in their heads that is what gets them to open up.”

“If I dress brightly and I´m surrounded by bright colours, I automatically think brightly.”

“I did try a gratitude journal, but it made me feel really ungrateful that I had to fill this damn thing in every night.”

“Say one nice thing a day (to someone), it takes zero effort, and it makes both people feel good”.

If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, and review it on your podcast platform. We read every email sent to us at [email protected] so please get in touch! Check out our supporting blogs on this topic at www.twowomenchatting.com.

EPISODE RESOURCES  

Teenage Kicks Podcast

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For this episode, Michelle and Liz are joined by Gia Mills, a celebrity make-up artist and the co-founder of Skin in Motion. Products that are designed specifically for menopausal women and athletes. Makeup that stays on regardless of how hot you get. The list of people who use her Skin In Motion products includes Andy Murray, Jeremy Paxman, Poppy and Cara Delavigne, Nadine Baggot, Lisa Faulkner, Sienna Miller, and Natalie Imbruglia. Until the end of January, Two Women Chatting listeners can get 20% off all their products with code TWC20.

Gia shares the night-time skincare routine she recommends to her clients including the best order to apply night skincare products to get the optimum results. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS 

• Menopause has a big impact on how your skin looks and, of course, hot flushes don't help 
• Estrogen helps to regulate collagen production, skin hydration, and pigmentation.
• Menopausal women need good coverage, but that does not have to mean using thick and claggy products.
• Argan oil is absorbed well without clogging your pores.
• Double cleansing improves the level of hydration you get from moisturising and conditioning products.
• It is possible to quickly calm a hot flush using a misting spray. Gia explains why the one she has developed is so effective.
• Reducing alcohol consumption has a positive impact on your skin.
• Having a good night-time regime really supports your skin. 

BEST MOMENTS 

“The menopause does affect your skin. And nobody told me that. I just thought I was getting old and haggard.”

“What happens when you go through menopause is the collagen depletes, your skin can get a lot drier, more irritable, etc.”

“Our products are brilliant with women who are going through certain symptoms of the menopause, and they can make them feel a bit more confident.”

“What's great is that the mascara is waterproof, but it's also nourishing, lifting and it's easy to remove.”

“We've got our witch-hazel water that I just sort of then double cleanse with and what that does is it gobbles up all this sort of dirt on the top of my skin.”

Skin In Motion was founded by celebrity makeup artist and fitness lover Gia Mills, Skin in Motion’s purpose is to empower women with their confidence-boosting beauty products that work for all life stages, so they feel positive about their appearance.

It is the UK’s number one active and mid-life beauty brand that is changing the way beauty looks and feels. Effortless, life-proof, all-in-one makeup and skincare formulas that boast long-lasting, sweatproof, and cooling ingredients.

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Michelle and Liz are joined in this episode by award-winning editor and presenter, Jo Elvin, who is the epitome of what Two Women Chatting represents. 

Earlier this year Jo resigned from her job as editor of the Mail on Sunday’s YOU magazine after four years at the helm, citing a midlife crisis, having bought a lot of crazy coloured jumpsuits and becoming an avid fan of Korean pop boy bands!

But rather than put her feet up, Jo has taken the helm of the Children With Cancer UK charity, continued hosting the Daily Mail Plus talk show/podcast Palace Confidential, become an advocate of the Menopause Mandate and started her podcast Fame. During the show she discusses what triggered her new direction, working in fashion and her philanthropy. We touch on the Harry and Meghan situation as an Australian observing the Royal Family for Palace Confidential and she shares her thoughts about becoming an empty nester in the nearish future - and the best thing about being a midlife woman.

KEY TAKEAWAYS 

• Cancer is the biggest killer of children in the UK yet there is little money available for research.
• Cancer treatments are designed for adults. Often, they are too hard on children´s bodies, they suffer terrible long-term side effects.
• By the time you reach the mid-life stage you have far more confidence.
• Midlife is a great time to try some new things.
• Younger people are increasingly mindful of consumerism and the damage fast fashion does.
• Jo´s new podcast takes an in-depth look at the way fame changes how a celebrity feels and thinks.

BEST MOMENTS 

“As scary as it was, I wanted to leave the magazine editor job when everyone thought I was great.”

“It seems to me that they (Harry and Megan) have gone from one sad situation to another.”

“All her clothes are vintage or second hand, so she´s a completely different animal in that respect”

“Probably by the end of January, we’ll have raised £300 million for research.”

EPISODE RESOURCES 

FAME podcast with Jo Elvin

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In their last podcast of 2022, Michelle and Liz sit down to chat about getting ready for the festive season, a really touristy Christmas market in Berlin, advent calendars, cocktails, avoiding the snooze after lunch, and all things Christmassy. They also talk to Hannah Bartlett, one half of the sister-created company Jolly Festive, who lives and breathes Christmas 365 days a year. She shares some fantastic ways to keep the cost down without having to do without. Including, making your festive gear work harder, reverse advent calendars, modern parlor games, alternative present ideas, Christmas cushions in jumpers, and much, much more.

KEY TAKEAWAYS 

• Christmas is about being with the ones you love creating memories and enjoying traditions.
• You do not have to spend a fortune to enjoy a special festive season.
• Agreeing in advance to only buy one present or give handmade gifts this year really takes the pressure off.
• You can find fantastic gifts in charity shops.
• Having everyone bring their half-empty spirit bottles around and creating cocktails with them is great fun.
• Buy decorative products that can be used for other celebrations throughout the year.

BEST MOMENTS 

“My mantra is very much a perfect Christmas doesn't have to be perfect.”

“I think these are times when we need to think a bit more economically and I've said to the kids do not get us all a gift just go in together the three of you.”

“Christmas is about who's around the tree, not what's under it.”

“She just trailed all the charity shops in London and got all of her family gifts, things like a £200 Gucci phone case for about five quid.” (article by Suzanne Baum in Metro)

“Go back to basics in terms of the decor and really think about what you can collect rather than what you can buy”

EPISODE RESOURCES  

Jolly Festive

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Grief comes to all of us at one stage or another and so Liz and Michelle wanted to tackle the subject head-on with the CEO and Founder of The Good Grief Trust, Linda Magistris.

Join them as they discuss everything from the lack of support for bereaved families to dealing with both the shorter and longer-term impact of losing someone close to you. They also explore the reasons why death is such a taboo subject in the modern world and why it needs to change.

KEY TAKEAWAYS 

• There is a lack of centralised support in the health industry for bereavement. Health professionals are very inconsistent in the support and resources they offer to people suffering from grief.
• Dealing with death isn’t just what happens after you have lost someone. Pre-bereavement support can be invaluable.
• When founding The Good Grief Trust, Linda recognised that she needed to take things online. So that she could tailor support for every situation as well as keep them continually up to date.
• Linda’s media background reassured her that she would be able to get a lot of great recognition and support for the charity for free. To date, she has some incredible patrons of the charity including actor Dame Penelope Wilton DBE and former Wham member Shirlie kemp as well as Linda’s former co-star on Grange Hill Todd Carty, and actor, Greg Wise.
• Connecting various organizations and groups together was one of Linda’s main drives in building The Good Grief Trust. So that everyone could work together to create a strong network of support for anyone and everyone that needs it.
• There are so many different forms and types of grief, it is essential people get tailored support for what they are going through.
• We often don’t know how to support those around us suffering from grief, but being compassionate and kind can mean the world to someone, even if you don’t have the right words.
• There is no timeline for grief. It can also change. What you might need one day might be totally different a week or even an hour later. People need compassion, patience and understanding.

BEST MOMENTS 

“If the health professionals don’t know of the big national charities, they need to have that information, they need to know what is available for everyone”

“Bereavement is everyone's business. Bereavement is something that all of us are going to experience at one time”

“There is no timeline for grief”

“There’s an absolute lack of kindness and understanding”

“Your grief is unique”

EPISODE RESOURCES 

The Good Grief Trust

ABOUT THE GUEST    

Linda Magistris

Linda first met her partner Graham Theakston when she was an actress in the original cast of Grange Hill in 1978. Graham was one of the directors and by chance, they met again 30 years later.

She had been running a portfolio of businesses since they first worked together, from a Wedding Consultancy to Vintage Tea Rooms, and Graham was a BAFTA-winning success in TV and Film and they spent 8 very happy years together until sadly he was diagnosed with a rare soft tissue sarcoma, an aggressive form of cancer, and died five and half months later.

After his death, Linda struggled to cope with her grief, with limited access or knowledge around the support services that could help her individual needs. She realised that the UK did not have one central signposting resource to help health professionals in their work supporting the bereaved and so in 2016 The Good Grief Trust charity and website was launched. The Good Grief Trust is now the UK’s leading bereavement network, with over 900 charities and support services under one umbrella.  

Linda’s vision is to ensure that no-one who is grieving falls through the net, and that anyone bereaved under any circumstance knows they are not alone and that there is help and hope for a way forward with their life. 

‘Grief can be complicated, but access to support should never be’

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Liz and Michelle are joined in this episode by Janey Lee Grace, Kate Baily and Mandy Manners to discuss sobriety. Both Liz and Michelle are feeling sober curious, to the point where Liz is already drinking a lot less. Both of their guests became sober years ago and today help others to do the same.

They talk about the impact stopping drinking has, handling FOMO and getting the buzz without the booze. How sobriety reduces the impact menopause has on our health, confidence and our ability to sleep. They also offer tips on going sober when your partner does not want to do the same.

KEY TAKEAWAYS 

• You really can get the buzz without the booze.
• Don´t look at going sober as giving up something. If you do you will feel deprived and will slip back into drinking.
• In the UK we have been brainwashed into thinking alcohol is good for us, that we need it to have a good time.
• Alcohol definitely is not good for us. For example, it shrinks the brain.
• Liz´s menopausal brain fog has diminished since she stopped drinking.
• Supporting your body when you stop drinking helps. The podcast includes some fantastic tips.
• When you don´t drink you give yourself the best chance of better health.
• Becoming sober is a journey, it takes a while to get used to, but is worth the effort.
• We are all seasonal beasts, the time of year impacts how you feel and, therefore, how easy it is to maintain sobriety.
• There are other ways to get that relaxed feeling that you might have got from a glass of wine. Several are shared in the podcast.
• Non-alcoholic treats are a must.

BEST MOMENTS 

“It's reframing. Giving up something it's such a negative, it is depriving. You're not giving up. You're just changing.”

“Keep the ritual - Change the ingredients,”

“If you want any kind of behavioural change, you need both the logic and the emotional piece.”

“When you take alcohol out of the picture it actually opens you up to living life vibrantly.”

“Change is hard, change is uncomfortable. But it's also an opportunity for growth.”

EPISODE RESOURCES 

Book – Happy Healthy Sober by Janey Lee Grace

Alcohol-Free Life Podcast

ABOUT THE GUESTS

Janey Lee Grace

Janey Lee Grace is a UK-based BBC presenter, and author of Happy Healthy Sober - ditch the booze and take control of your life. and founder of www.thesoberclub.com. – Helping Others to get the Buzz without the booze. She is a trained health and well-being coach.

Kate Baily and Mandy Manners

It became clear to both Kate Baily and Mandy Manners that traditional methods and models of sobriety were often not gender-appropriate, trauma-informed, or holistic and so together they built programs, wrote books, and recorded a podcast to raise awareness around what we as women need to get sober. To stay and love being sober. Community, connection, well-being, fun and creativity are cornerstones of Love Sober.

Kate & Mandy are both ICF accredited Coaches, Coach Trainers in addictive behaviours, authors & speakers.  

Mandy co-wrote the courses Love Yourself Sober & Love Sober Life School with Kate & Kate runs Love Sober & facilitates those courses and continues to record the podcast and create & curate the resources on this site. 

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On this episode, Liz and Michelle chat about the grief of losing podcast ‘mascot’ Maisie, Michelle’s 14-year-old rescue dog.

As Maisie’s health deteriorated, Michelle had to make the tough decision to let her go. They talk about coming to that decision and how Michelle is handling pet bereavement. Liz and Michelle also discuss how to tell your adult kids about the loss, when they live away from home.

For Michelle, coping has been all about keeping busy and distracted, moving furniture and plants to disguise the empty space, clearing out Maisie’s drawer and washing her beds to give to a dog shelter. 

Linda Magistris, the founder of the Good Grief Trust, reached out to Michelle to give her the name of a wonderful organisation called The Blue Cross which looks after sick, injured and homeless pets.

As an empty nester, in time, Michelle will be able to have more time freedom and the ability to be more spontaneous and be able to see that as a positive. Whilst Liz, who lost her dog Billy a few years ago, decided to get a new puppy and has a few regrets about acting so quickly - but loves her new pooch Teddy to bits!

KEY TAKEAWAYS 

• You have got to do what is right for your animal even though it is difficult.
• Take a clip of hair and maybe keep their collar and nametag.
• Keep busy, it will help to distract you.
• When you’re ready, give their food, treats and beds to a pet charity.

EPISODE RESOURCES 

The Good Grief Trust

The Blue Cross

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For this episode, Liz and Michelle chat remotely. Michelle is off on her empty nest travels again to Tokyo. Meanwhile Maisie, her dog, runs rings around her dog sitter, at home. Despite not being a fan of Japanese food, Michelle steps out of her comfort zone and takes a food tour that includes yakitori, stand up sushi and more. Followed by a painful Peaks of Slimness massage, which was like getting a massage from Rod Hull and Emu! 

In the meantime, Liz has visited the Spirit of Christmas fair in London, coming back with a lovely gift idea for perfume and jewellery lovers. She has also been working on the website creating resources for their audience, including a philanthropy guide for people who want to help others via the internet.

Both of them are horrified at plans to take Bounty out of the Celebrations tub at Christmas!

EPISODE RESOURCES  

Philanthropy ideas you can do online

Perfino perfume pendant

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