Unapologetically Sensitive

We never know who we will impact, or how people will be impacted by our behavior. This is a little change of pace, and I feel pretty vulnerable putting this out there. There is so much power in receiving forgiveness! I was bully when I was younger, and although I apologized to the boy I was ruthless to when I saw him many years ago at my high school reunion, when I launched this podcast, he was following me on social media, and I felt like I didn't deserve to have him share my episodes and support me because I had been so terrible to him. I reached out to him via messenger and I read his response to me in this episode.

Sometimes where there are unexpected changes, we have a little bit of a harder time going with the flow. This episode talks about some of the types of big and small changes that might throw us off, and how we can work with our reactions so that when life gets bumpy, we learn how to ride the bumps

www.patriciayounglcsw.com

www.unapologeticallysensitive.com

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facebook group--Unapologetically Sensitive

instagram--Unapologetically Sensitive

Music--Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.AndyRobinson.com

When there is too much going on, and we need to find a quiet place to retreat in order to get some balance, what can we do? In this short episode I give a tip on how to get grounded if you're at work or home and only have a few minutes. Sometimes we just need to take what we can get.

Matt Marr is a therapist, actor, podcaster & activist, just to name a few. Matt brings an open and refreshing view about growing up being an effeminate kid with a lisp in the South, and the mixed messages he received. We talk about the intersection of sensitivity and being gay in terms of degenderizing the world. Matt takes Dr. Elaine Aron's self-test to see if he rates as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). The was the very FIRST interview I did for the podcast, and Matt was exceptionally kind and supportive as I felt my way through the interview. We talk abut code switching, and how it affected Matt. We talk about bullying and playing sports as a kid when he wasn't athletic and didn't respond well to being athletic. Matt talks about his involvement with Camp Brave Trails and The Trevor Project.

http://dearmattieshow.com/

https://twitter.com/themattmarr?lang-en

https://www.youtube.com/user/talktomattmarr

Camp Brave Trails https://www.bravetrails.org/

Trevor Project https://www.thetrevorproject.org

Dr. Elaine Aron HSP self-test https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/

www.patriciayounglcsw.com

www.unapologeticallysensitive.com

https://www.facebook.com/Patricia-Young-LCSW-162005091044090/

[email protected]

show hashtag #unapologeticallysensitive

MUSIC--Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

Highly Sensitive People are extremely conscientious. We care deeply about the work we do. We show up on time; we're prepared and we work hard. We think everyone has the same work ethic and values that we do, but it's not true.

As Highly Sensitive People, our nervous systems often get overwhelmed and overstimulated. Learn how you can calm and soothe your overactive nervous system.

Highly Sensitive People often feel more connected when they are in nature, or listening to music, or watching performing arts. We feel things deeply and pick up on subtleties, so these things nurture our spirit.

Highly Sensitive People think deeply about things that have happened; conversations they have had, and even about upcoming events. We take in so much information, that we explore multiple aspects of things we've experienced. Sometimes this means that we play "Could have, would have, should have" and it's usually not in our favor. We tend to be hard on ourselves and beat ourselves up wishing the conversation might have gone differently. Sometimes we need more time to process, and don't say what we want to in the moment.

Highly Sensitive People are easily overwhelmed by sensory input (think the 5 senses--taste, touch, smell, hearing and sight). Bright lights and bright sunshine can feel like too much, strong smells, loud noises or unappealing noises can feel assaulting to our finely-tuned nervous systems. The texture of clothes can strongly impact us (tags, itchy fabric, restrictive clothing, tight belts or waistbands). We may have a favorite blanket or pillow because it is soft and comforting. It might be difficult to tune out noises in the environment that others don't even hear or notice.

Lauren talks about the power of mirroring in relationships, and how it positively impacts her work as an interviewer and a therapist--mirroring is reflecting back what the other person has shared in order to improve communication. Lauren beautifully describes how she intentionally feel into emotions before and during sessions/interviews as a way to be an even more effective practitioner practitioner/interviewer. We also talk about friendships, and Lauren talks about specific exercises and tools that can be sued with a partner or friend to get closer and learn more about each other.

QUOTES--

• This emotion is perfect for this moment
• My goal is to feel everything that arises in me
• Feeling are superpowers
• Another name for HSP--A person who gets the texture of life

BIO--

Lauren is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist in San Francisco, California. She works with couples, individuals and people living with chronic illness. Lauren was diagnosed with Relapsing Multiple Sclerosis in 2015, and has found that although living with an autoimmune disease is not an easy path, it's brought more joy and fulfillment into her life than before. This January (2018) she launched the podcast "This is Not What I Ordered;" a weekly interview show about full-hearted living with chronic illness and health challenges. She believes that the biggest difficulties in our lives are often invitations into a deeper, richer, more conscious relationship with ourselves.

HIGHLIGHTS--

Imago Couple's Dialogue

• Sender (no blaming, shaming or criticizing)
• Receiver mirrors word for word (provides summary and validating
  • Validation--why it makes sense based on who the sender is (not based on the receiver)

Two styles of conflict

• Minimizer
• Maximizer
• Both partners are needed to maintain the ecosystem (the balance in the relationship)

Reflections to do weekly with your partner

1. Something you did to support our relationship this week
   1. What was it like when you did that?
2. Something I did this week to support the relationship
   1. How was it helpful to me
3. If I could have a do-over this week, this is what I would do differently

LINKS

www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com

www.laurenselfridgetherapy.com

www.laurenselfridgephotography.com

Twitter: @NWIOpodcast and @HelloSelfridge

Instagram: @NWIOpodcast @LaurenSelfridgeOfficial

Facebook: www.facebook.com/thisisnotwhatiordered

Show hashtag: #NWIOpodcast

Website-- www.patriciayounglcsw.com

Podcast-- www.unapologeticallysensitive.com

Facebook-- www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/

Youtube-- www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6foodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber

Show hashtag-- #unapologeticallysensitive

MUSIC--Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com

e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive!gmail.com