Unashamed Unafraid

In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, the hosts welcome Reuben Aiton, founder of Arise & Heal Recovery, who shares his background in addiction recovery coaching and his focus on helping teens and LDS clients move from external “kindling” motivations to internal, heart-based reasons for change. Reuben discusses his own story, including a pituitary tumor that delayed puberty, later struggles with pornography, and learning that sobriety can exist without true healing. He explains addiction as a disconnection issue where pornography is a “medication,” emphasizing connection with God, self, and others to raise awareness rather than fighting thoughts with more thoughts. Reuben describes a panic and claustrophobia crisis on a plane that led to new insights about stillness, surrender, and processing emotions without fixing them, and he outlines practical “primal” movement drills and daily habits to reboot the frontal lobe and reduce shame-driven relapse cycles.

Take advantage of Reuben's resources here at https://ariseheal.org/

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01:56 Meet Reuben Aiton
04:05 Why Teens Are Hard
06:06 Kindling Versus Log
08:24 Porn Is Not Problem
10:43 Reuben's Recovery Story
16:49 Panic Attack Flight
20:46 Alligator Thought Spin
22:53 Turning On The Light
25:21 Shame And God
27:44 The Atonement Is For You
29:04 Breaking Shame Goggles
30:20 Identity And Limiting Beliefs
32:34 Integrating Parts And Resistance
34:51 Process Emotions To Heal Beliefs
36:22 Urges As Pain Signals
43:46 Surrender Not Willpower
49:35 Resources And Contact Info
50:33 Eye Of The Tiger Wrap

In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, Sam, Chris, Joshua, and Austin discuss sexual addiction recovery and why healing requires honesty, transparency, and coming unto Christ rather than hiding behind a so-called “noble lie” that hiding the truth somehow protects others. They praise Austin’s courage for disclosing a relapse after seven months and explore how lying creates unmanageable pain, escalates into a destructive web, and erodes trust in marriage by forcing a spouse to live in an untrue reality.  They emphasize that sobriety without transparency becomes “white knuckling,” recommend reaching out to brotherhood first after relapse to manage shame and take accountability without excuses, and note rare cases where disclosure may require professional guidance. They challenge listeners to identify where they don’t feel safe and take responsibility for creating safety rather than continuing to lie.

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Timestamps:
00:43 Podcast Welcome and Banter
01:21 Relapse Courage and Noble Lie
02:08 VeggieTales and Pinocchio Lies
04:39 Why Lying Feels Safe But Isn't
05:50 Transparency Builds Recovery
06:32 Spouse Reality and Betrayal
10:31 Accountability and Brotherhood
12:34 Disclosure Safety and Coaching
14:22 Shame Versus Shaming Quote
16:35 Create Safety and Challenge
18:21 Call to Action and Wrap Up

In this story episode of Unashamed, Unafraid, guest Paul Claverie opens up about navigating profound life crises, career shifts, personal accountability, and emotional healing. From managing his daughter’s cancer diagnosis to dealing with an unaddressed congenital deformity and performance-driven shame, Paul shares how pornography became an isolated coping mechanism—and how taking ownership of his health, finances, and personal agency ultimately helped him rebuild his life on solid ground.

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Timestamps:

00:00 – Podcast intro and mission
02:10 – Early career and background
06:15 – Overwhelming work and school
08:30 – Daughter's cancer diagnosis
10:45 – Losing heavy equipment job
16:20 – Pressure in aviation career
23:34 – Marital intimacy struggles
25:10 – Corrective surgery for deformity
28:30 – Overcoming pornography dependency
31:15 – Physical fitness in recovery
36:42 – Miscommunication regarding spiritual advice
38:50 – Accidental discovery of email
44:20 – Financial overhaul and independence
48:30 – Deciding to pursue divorce
52:08 – Song: Love Me At My Lowest by Nash Blackwood

In this episode of Unashamed, the hosts welcome back Austin and discuss sexual addiction recovery while working away from home. Austin shares that directing a demanding summer camp for 12–15-year-olds led to multiple relapses because he had no personal space, minimal sleep, and struggled to maintain safety and connection with God, while he stayed sober once home. The conversation explores why travel and high-pressure work often trigger acting out, the need to build a recovery lifestyle through structural changes, boundaries, and meeting basic needs like rest, food, and water. They reframe relapse as information rather than shame, discuss disciplined ways to “check out” safely, and emphasize listening to the body’s warning signals. Josh adds how losing 80 pounds and fitness improved his mental health and recovery. The episode ends with questions for listeners and a personal example of acting out due to lacking a plan at a family reunion.

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Timestamps:
00:43 Austin Returns to Unashamed
01:04 Inside the Summer Camp Mission
03:05 Recovery Update After Summer
05:56 Why Travel Triggers Acting Out
08:30 Building Boundaries and Alone Time
13:06 Relapse as Data Not Shame
14:34 Numbing Out and Healthy Rest
17:13 Listening to Your Body Needs
19:57 Fitness, Dopamine, and Discipline
22:45 Listener Questions and Takeaways
23:22 Closing Story and Wrap Up

In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, Sam interviews Curtis Morley, who shifted from tech CEO and entrepreneur to “Emotionologist” after personal upheaval and a difficult divorce. Curtis explains his framework of “counterfeit emotions,” including shame as the counterfeit of guilt, misery as the counterfeit of pain, and sobriety as the counterfeit of recovery, emphasizing that recovery measures “how deep” rather than “how long.” He discusses dopamine dependence, why the problem is the need for pornography rather than pornography itself, and a bus metaphor for witnessing emotions and choosing authentic counterparts. Curtis outlines additional dyads (love/lust, kind/nice, excellence/perfectionism, joy/pleasure) and offers hope through his Be Whole method, plus shares the origin of his song “Whole Again,” inspired by his daughter’s healing after a rare blood disease.

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Sign up or book a call with Curtis!
www.counterfeitemotions.com/recovery
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In the sobriety world you often hear the saying it’s only a matter of time until… you have another relapse. In the recovery world it’s only a matter of time until… you overcome this for good. 

Sobriety from pornography is only the first step, but most programs end there. It turns out that sobriety is actually the counterfeit of recovery. A false sense of security with blockers and filters but without curing the underlying issues. People have believed for decades that willpower and white knuckling is enough. That’s where the trap is. Sobriety is a life of fear and misery whereas recovery is full of joy and refined. There is so much hope for full recovery. Is possible. People are overcoming the struggle for good.  Freedom from the grind feels amazing to wake up every day with peace and hope. 

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Timestamps:

00:43 Sam's Recovery Check-In

02:00 Meet Curtis Morley - Emotionologist

02:59 Entrepreneur Dream Life

04:45 Divorce And Counterfeits

08:14 Pain Joy Breakthrough

10:47 Sobriety Versus Recovery

17:04 Digging Up The Demons

22:25 Lapse As A Gift

25:54 Identity Trap And Hope

28:39 Four Drivers Of Urges

30:58 What Recovery Really Means

32:38 Dopamine Cycle Explained

35:38 Rewriting Triggers for Peace

38:29 Emotional Bus Metaphor

39:28 Guilt vs Shame Research

43:20 Counterfeit Emotion Dyads

46:41 Authenticity and Peace

47:56 Hope and Be Whole Method

52:44 Whole Again Song Story

In this episode of Unashamed, Unafraid, Sam, Chris and Joshua discuss how isolation fuels relapse and undermines recovery from sexual addiction. Sam shares relapsing while his wife was away, connecting it to unprocessed emotions, blaming his spouse, and failing to plan for connection; the group emphasizes ownership, accountability, and reaching out in temptation as a key recovery skill. Joshua describes months of isolation amid financial strain, work instability, and possible re-injury that removed fitness as a coping tool, plus feeling distant from God; a child’s spontaneous hug prompts him to recognize repeated “love notes” through people reaching out. They reject isolation as ineffective, commit to renewed community and group support, and invite listeners to email their plans to get connected.

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Timestamps:
01:31 Relapse and Heavy Heart
02:25 Isolation Triggers
04:48 Ownership Over Blame
06:52 Make the Call
09:08 Sobriety vs Recovery
10:44 Refusing to Isolate
13:29 Stressors Behind Isolation
17:40 God Reaching Out
21:20 Affirmations and Identity
23:33 System for Temptation
27:04 Commitments and Next Steps
29:33 Audience Challenge and Wrap

In this episode of Unashamed, Unafraid, Sam and Austin welcome clinical hypnotherapist and master hypnotist Erin from familiesgettinghelp.com. Together, they explore how hypnotherapy functions as a powerful, non-traditional tool in sexual addiction recovery. Erin dispels common pop-culture myths surrounding hypnosis, breaks down the neurochemistry of shame, and demonstrates how tapping into theta brain waves allows clients to rewrite subconscious beliefs formed in childhood. The conversation dives deep into both bottom-up approaches—like shifting core identity and future pacing—and top-down somatic tools you can use in real-time to manage temptation. Whether you are struggling with unwanted behaviors or supporting someone who is, this episode offers actionable insights on integration, emotional regulation, and step-by-step healing.

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Families Getting Help helps people break free from the subconscious patterns that drive pornography use, rebuild trust and stronger relationships, and change the inner dialogue that keeps them stuck in unwanted patterns.

Learn More: FamiliesGettingHelp.com

Book Your Introduction Call Now: https://familiesgettinghelp.com/#ghl-calendar. Discount code: UNASHAMED

Free Automatic Impulse Control Video: Want the free workshop where you learn how to automatically turn down a temptation? Go here - https://help.familiesgettinghelp.com/turndowntemptationsnow 

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Timestamps
03:40 - Introducing Guest Erin & Demystifying Hypnotherapy Basics
08:33 - The Role of Shame, Dopamine Loops, & Neurochemistry in Addiction
12:00 - Brain Waves, Subconscious Memories, & Rewiring Neural Pathways
17:15 - Comparing Hypnotherapy to EMDR & Sam/Austin's Personal Experiences
24:20 - Bottom-Up Identity Shift vs. Top-Down Somatic Recovery Tools
27:50 - Automatic Impulse Control Demonstration: Using Somatic Tools for Urges
32:55 - Connecting with Erin (FamiliesGettingHelp.com) & St. George/Zoom Services
36:30 - Personal Readiness, Emotional Maturity, & Taking Recovery Ownership
41:15 - Advice for Families, Final Takeaways on Identity, & Episode Sign-Off

In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, Chris, Sam, Mason, and Austin discuss why building a real male brotherhood is essential—not optional—for recovering from sexual addiction. They explore the common hurdles men face in seeking support, such as fatherlessness, isolation, and the tendency to minimize their struggles rather than open up. The hosts emphasize that true brotherhood requires both deep vulnerability during moments of temptation and lighthearted fun to build genuine connection. Ultimately, they encourage listeners to stop isolating, step out in courage, and clearly communicate what they need from supportive peers to achieve lasting healing.

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Timestamps:

0:43 – Welcome to Unashamed, Unafraid & Four Brothers in the House
2:18 – "Brotherhood is Not Optional" & Trying to Recover Alone
4:05 – Mason & Sam’s Story: Realizing Dudes Don't Talk About Porn Addiction
6:27 – Why Men Avoid Brotherhood: Fatherlessness & Unhealthy Patterns
8:52 – The Wild Hearts Group & The Power of "Will You Pray For Me?"
11:41 – Reaching Out Before a Relapse vs. Calling After the Fact
14:08 – The Young Single Adult Trap: Isolation & Minimizing the Problem
16:34 – Attending a Group vs. Actually Being Known
19:12 – What Blocks Men From Making the Call During Temptation?
21:55 – Balancing Dynamic Brotherhood: Serious Healing + Stupid Jokes
24:23 – Teaching Other Dudes What You Need (Listening vs. Fixing)
27:14 – Reaching Out & Community Meetup Announcements

This episode of Unashamed Unafraid introduces guests Mike (“Sacramento Mike”) and his son Weston, with Mike visiting Utah from Hawaii for his daughter’s wedding. Mike describes growing up in an LDS family near Sacramento, first encountering pornography at 11, becoming compulsively drawn to it, and being forcibly sexually assaulted by older boys around age 13–14, which deepened his shame and porn use; he later learned those boys were arrested for raping family members. At 18, after drug use, he prayed on a beach, quit drugs, served a mission in Ecuador, married, and raised a family while hiding a long-term pornography problem that escalated alongside law-enforcement work in Oakland and PTSD. After multiple deaths in his care and suicidal crises, he sought help, was retired from duty, and recounts a 2018 moment when his wife, prompted by God, prevented a planned suicide, helping him recognize God’s love. Mike has now been sober from pornography and sexual acting out for 8 years. 

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Timestamps:
01:28 Wedding Weekend Banter
03:02 First Exposure To Porn
05:25 Sexual Assault And Confusion
07:14 Shame And Silence
08:43 Beach Prayer Wake Up
11:32 Mission And Marriage
13:51 Law Enforcement And Trauma
15:22 Confessing and Hiding Secrets
16:30 PTSD and Relapse Cycle
18:14 Family Distance and Regrets
21:07 Deaths on the Job
23:24 Retired and Identity Crisis
25:22 Therapy and Escalation
26:10 2018 Suicide Crisis
27:31 Gods Love and Closing
28:25 The Dream
32:59 Weston's thoughts on dad's recovery
39:11 Life After Disclosure
41:34 Warrior Heart Boot Camp
49:15 Helping Other Men
54:19 Gratitude by Brandon Lake

In this episode, James, Sam, Joshua, and Mason sit down for a follow-up on the commitments they made in past episodes (EP 151: Filling the Void of Addiction and EP 193: How Can I Trust God?). They dive open-honestly into what accountability actually looks like in practice—from putting software on phones to actively battling for true brotherhood and moving away from transactional faith to find God directly in the present moment and pain.

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Timestamps:
01:29 – James’s update (Revisiting EP 151): Putting Ever Accountable on his phone and achieving over a year of sobriety
03:20 – Healthy accountability vs. using tools to bypass inner healing
05:10 – Proud of the journey: Overcoming the nonchalance and habit of slip-ups after 13 years
06:50 – Sam’s update (EP 151): Overcoming father wounds and learning how to cultivate authentic brotherhood
09:15 – Battling for your brothers: Second chances, slumber parties, and overcoming codependency
11:20 – Joshua’s update (EP 151): Moving past checking religious boxes and learning to trust God with hard conversations
14:30 – Facing the fear of outcomes: Asking God for direction instead of avoiding conflict
15:30 – Mason’s update (Revisiting EP 193): Shifting away from black-and-white thinking and learning to feel pain
16:15 – Redefining recovery: Finding a true relationship with God beyond just quitting pornography
18:15 – Psalm 23: How God prepares a table for us in the presence of difficulty, not just comfort
20:20 – Finding God in the "Now": Moving past prayers focused only on the past or future
22:15 – Closing commitments: Bringing Jesus into the center of brotherhood
23:10 – How to reach out and wrap-up