Unashamed Unafraid

In this episode of Unashamed, Unafraid, Sam, Chris and Joshua discuss how isolation fuels relapse and undermines recovery from sexual addiction. Sam shares relapsing while his wife was away, connecting it to unprocessed emotions, blaming his spouse, and failing to plan for connection; the group emphasizes ownership, accountability, and reaching out in temptation as a key recovery skill. Joshua describes months of isolation amid financial strain, work instability, and possible re-injury that removed fitness as a coping tool, plus feeling distant from God; a child’s spontaneous hug prompts him to recognize repeated “love notes” through people reaching out. They reject isolation as ineffective, commit to renewed community and group support, and invite listeners to email their plans to get connected.

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Timestamps:
01:31 Relapse and Heavy Heart
02:25 Isolation Triggers
04:48 Ownership Over Blame
06:52 Make the Call
09:08 Sobriety vs Recovery
10:44 Refusing to Isolate
13:29 Stressors Behind Isolation
17:40 God Reaching Out
21:20 Affirmations and Identity
23:33 System for Temptation
27:04 Commitments and Next Steps
29:33 Audience Challenge and Wrap

In this episode of Unashamed, Unafraid, Sam and Austin welcome clinical hypnotherapist and master hypnotist Erin from familiesgettinghelp.com. Together, they explore how hypnotherapy functions as a powerful, non-traditional tool in sexual addiction recovery. Erin dispels common pop-culture myths surrounding hypnosis, breaks down the neurochemistry of shame, and demonstrates how tapping into theta brain waves allows clients to rewrite subconscious beliefs formed in childhood. The conversation dives deep into both bottom-up approaches—like shifting core identity and future pacing—and top-down somatic tools you can use in real-time to manage temptation. Whether you are struggling with unwanted behaviors or supporting someone who is, this episode offers actionable insights on integration, emotional regulation, and step-by-step healing.

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Families Getting Help helps people break free from the subconscious patterns that drive pornography use, rebuild trust and stronger relationships, and change the inner dialogue that keeps them stuck in unwanted patterns.

Learn More: FamiliesGettingHelp.com

Book Your Introduction Call Now: https://familiesgettinghelp.com/#ghl-calendar. Discount code: UNASHAMED

Free Automatic Impulse Control Video: Want the free workshop where you learn how to automatically turn down a temptation? Go here - https://help.familiesgettinghelp.com/turndowntemptationsnow 

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Timestamps
03:40 - Introducing Guest Erin & Demystifying Hypnotherapy Basics
08:33 - The Role of Shame, Dopamine Loops, & Neurochemistry in Addiction
12:00 - Brain Waves, Subconscious Memories, & Rewiring Neural Pathways
17:15 - Comparing Hypnotherapy to EMDR & Sam/Austin's Personal Experiences
24:20 - Bottom-Up Identity Shift vs. Top-Down Somatic Recovery Tools
27:50 - Automatic Impulse Control Demonstration: Using Somatic Tools for Urges
32:55 - Connecting with Erin (FamiliesGettingHelp.com) & St. George/Zoom Services
36:30 - Personal Readiness, Emotional Maturity, & Taking Recovery Ownership
41:15 - Advice for Families, Final Takeaways on Identity, & Episode Sign-Off

In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, Chris, Sam, Mason, and Austin discuss why building a real male brotherhood is essential—not optional—for recovering from sexual addiction. They explore the common hurdles men face in seeking support, such as fatherlessness, isolation, and the tendency to minimize their struggles rather than open up. The hosts emphasize that true brotherhood requires both deep vulnerability during moments of temptation and lighthearted fun to build genuine connection. Ultimately, they encourage listeners to stop isolating, step out in courage, and clearly communicate what they need from supportive peers to achieve lasting healing.

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Timestamps:

0:43 – Welcome to Unashamed, Unafraid & Four Brothers in the House
2:18 – "Brotherhood is Not Optional" & Trying to Recover Alone
4:05 – Mason & Sam’s Story: Realizing Dudes Don't Talk About Porn Addiction
6:27 – Why Men Avoid Brotherhood: Fatherlessness & Unhealthy Patterns
8:52 – The Wild Hearts Group & The Power of "Will You Pray For Me?"
11:41 – Reaching Out Before a Relapse vs. Calling After the Fact
14:08 – The Young Single Adult Trap: Isolation & Minimizing the Problem
16:34 – Attending a Group vs. Actually Being Known
19:12 – What Blocks Men From Making the Call During Temptation?
21:55 – Balancing Dynamic Brotherhood: Serious Healing + Stupid Jokes
24:23 – Teaching Other Dudes What You Need (Listening vs. Fixing)
27:14 – Reaching Out & Community Meetup Announcements

This episode of Unashamed Unafraid introduces guests Mike (“Sacramento Mike”) and his son Weston, with Mike visiting Utah from Hawaii for his daughter’s wedding. Mike describes growing up in an LDS family near Sacramento, first encountering pornography at 11, becoming compulsively drawn to it, and being forcibly sexually assaulted by older boys around age 13–14, which deepened his shame and porn use; he later learned those boys were arrested for raping family members. At 18, after drug use, he prayed on a beach, quit drugs, served a mission in Ecuador, married, and raised a family while hiding a long-term pornography problem that escalated alongside law-enforcement work in Oakland and PTSD. After multiple deaths in his care and suicidal crises, he sought help, was retired from duty, and recounts a 2018 moment when his wife, prompted by God, prevented a planned suicide, helping him recognize God’s love. Mike has now been sober from pornography and sexual acting out for 8 years. 

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Timestamps:
01:28 Wedding Weekend Banter
03:02 First Exposure To Porn
05:25 Sexual Assault And Confusion
07:14 Shame And Silence
08:43 Beach Prayer Wake Up
11:32 Mission And Marriage
13:51 Law Enforcement And Trauma
15:22 Confessing and Hiding Secrets
16:30 PTSD and Relapse Cycle
18:14 Family Distance and Regrets
21:07 Deaths on the Job
23:24 Retired and Identity Crisis
25:22 Therapy and Escalation
26:10 2018 Suicide Crisis
27:31 Gods Love and Closing
28:25 The Dream
32:59 Weston's thoughts on dad's recovery
39:11 Life After Disclosure
41:34 Warrior Heart Boot Camp
49:15 Helping Other Men
54:19 Gratitude by Brandon Lake

In this episode, James, Sam, Joshua, and Mason sit down for a follow-up on the commitments they made in past episodes (EP 151: Filling the Void of Addiction and EP 193: How Can I Trust God?). They dive open-honestly into what accountability actually looks like in practice—from putting software on phones to actively battling for true brotherhood and moving away from transactional faith to find God directly in the present moment and pain.

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Timestamps:
01:29 – James’s update (Revisiting EP 151): Putting Ever Accountable on his phone and achieving over a year of sobriety
03:20 – Healthy accountability vs. using tools to bypass inner healing
05:10 – Proud of the journey: Overcoming the nonchalance and habit of slip-ups after 13 years
06:50 – Sam’s update (EP 151): Overcoming father wounds and learning how to cultivate authentic brotherhood
09:15 – Battling for your brothers: Second chances, slumber parties, and overcoming codependency
11:20 – Joshua’s update (EP 151): Moving past checking religious boxes and learning to trust God with hard conversations
14:30 – Facing the fear of outcomes: Asking God for direction instead of avoiding conflict
15:30 – Mason’s update (Revisiting EP 193): Shifting away from black-and-white thinking and learning to feel pain
16:15 – Redefining recovery: Finding a true relationship with God beyond just quitting pornography
18:15 – Psalm 23: How God prepares a table for us in the presence of difficulty, not just comfort
20:20 – Finding God in the "Now": Moving past prayers focused only on the past or future
22:15 – Closing commitments: Bringing Jesus into the center of brotherhood
23:10 – How to reach out and wrap-up

Mike recounts early exposure to pornography, shame shaped by church messaging, family dynamics, and later learning his biological father’s sexual addiction, then baptizing him before his mission. He describes a canceled temple wedding due to church discipline, continued struggles after marriage, and his shift toward inner work, self-compassion, and a reframe of repentance as metanoia—a fresh view of self, God, and the world—emphasizing wholeness over perfection and connection as the antidote. He recommends “Lean on Me” as his recovery song. He discusses his pivot from branding and graphic design into men’s work, retreats, and breathwork, including co-founding the HEARE Brotherhood.

Connect with Mike and get resources here:
- www.thelightinus.org
- www.hearebros.com
- LinkedIn

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Timestamps:
01:11 Making Repair Story
03:05 Meet Mike Allen
03:20 Career Pivot and Purpose
06:32 Family Crest Breakthrough
07:41 First Mens Retreat Leap
10:05 Breathwork Heart Opening
12:22 HearBrotherhood Origin
13:46 Early Porn Exposure
14:39 Family Context and Masculinity
17:28 Shame and Church Messages
20:43 Bio Dad Addiction Reveal
23:11 Baptizing His Dad
23:48 Engagement Secrets
25:02 Recommend Taken Away
27:40 Wedding Canceled
30:28 Marriage Did Not Fix It
31:24 Beyond Twelve Steps
34:51 Metanoia Not Shame
37:30 Opposition And Shadow
40:04 Golden Nuggets
45:06 Find Mike Online
45:47 Lean On Me Finale

Sam, Mason, James, and Austin discuss “firing the old God and hiring the new one.” They define the “old God” as transactional, shaming, distant, perpetually disappointed, and often rooted in childhood, family-of-origin dynamics. The "old God" is a false God that uses reward systems, shame, and sometimes spiritual manipulation. To embrace a new God, you can:

1. Explicitly name false beliefs about God,
2. Identify their impact on relationships, nervous system
3. Reality-test beliefs through scripture and Christ’s character
4. Examine how the belief once protected parts of the self
5. Grieve the loss of the familiar but harmful God-image, and
6. Use rituals (termination letter, speaking aloud, burning notes) to “fire” it.

To close, Austin recommends John Eldredge’s One Minute Pause App feature "20 Days to Experience Jesus.”

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Timestamps:

01:19 Meet the Old God
03:27 Where Shame Begins
05:38 Why Fire Him
08:29 Dismantle the Belief
10:45 Grieve the Old Image
12:03 Steps and Rituals
14:52 Hire the New God
16:47 Relational Exposure Practice
17:47 Relapse and Rework
20:30 Resources and Reflections
22:05 Listener Challenge Outro

In this episode of Unashamed, Unafraid, Austin and his wife Becca share how traumatic sexual experiences shaped their views of sexuality, secrecy, and control, and how that led Austin to pornography addiction. Austin describes hiding his compulsive porn use and masturbation due to fear and shame reinforced by religious shame, then later relapsing on his mission, engaging in digital relationships and sexting, and facing a highly shaming disciplinary process, including being labeled a “sexual predator,” disfellowshipped, and shamed by a therapist. Becca recounts being excluded from the process while engaged to be married, not learning full details years into marriage, while also navigating her own trauma and intimacy struggles. Through supportive therapy, Warrior Heart Boot Camp and Heart of a Woman Retreat, vulnerability, and surrendering to God, the two begin healing, rebuilding trust. Austin reaches nearly six months sobriety; they emphasize shared recovery, communication, and “Broken Together” as their song.

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Timestamps:

00:43 Meet Austin and Becca

01:53 Austin's Childhood Sexual Grooming

03:25 Porn Exposure and Control

05:23 Shame Culture and Secrecy

08:02 Becca’s Sexual Abuse

14:10 How Trauma Shaped Sexuality

15:37 Vulnerability and Early Disclosure

19:08 Mission Struggles and iPad Temptation

24:34 Confession and Church Discipline

28:29 Disfellowshipped and Silenced

29:03 Therapy That Shamed

30:41 Becca Left Outside

35:34 Marriage Under Pressure

39:28 A Bishop Who Got It

41:15 Finding Real Therapy

43:44 Warrior Heart Breakthrough

47:26 Healing as a Team

50:55 Rock Bottom to Surrender

56:40 Broken Together 

In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, Austin shares how keeping a small journal of unfiltered “Dear God” letters for six months became a record of his recovery, transformed his relationship with God, improved communication with his wife, and supported about four months of sobriety. He describes feeling prompted to write “I’m a porn addict in recovery. Ask me anything.” on a poster board and sit at Utah Valley University; after three hours, one student approached, discussed shame and feeling unlovable, and later asked to keep talking. Sam connects this to his own prayer for guidance to expand the platform, then joins Austin in Salt Lake City near City Creek Mall to hold the sign with Austin, where several strangers engage in meaningful conversations. They discuss de-shaming addiction, the most common question they received, and invite listeners to try writing letters to God and email Sam to get involved.

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01:17 Letters to God
04:00 Sobriety Breakthrough
04:36 Share About Your Porn Addiction
07:30 Finding The One
08:40 Why Vulnerability Matters
11:04 Taking It to Salt Lake
12:06 De-Shaming Porn Addiction
14:50 Hard Questions Real Answers
16:30 Hope Without Pressure

In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, Sam and Mason discuss sexual addiction recovery with their shared therapist, Jason Dausses of Accepted Therapy. Sam opens up about longstanding self-judgment rooted in verbally abusive coaches and bosses, and Jason frames healing as both rescuing past wounds and then empowering oneself to live from “zero to ten” through real-time choices, community, and effective communication of needs. They explore why “95% honesty” still leaves a hidden 5% that fuels shame, how to ask others for specific support to create safety, and how boundaries relate to unmet needs and validation-seeking. Jason emphasizes grieving lost time, widening one’s window of tolerance for discomfort, accepting God’s unchanging acceptance even during acting out, and using mindfulness and inner-monologue journaling/parts work to observe thoughts non-judgmentally and reduce shame.

Schedule an appointment with Jason 

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Timestamps:

00:00 Raw Check In
01:15 Shame Spiral Confession
02:08 Inner Critic Origins
03:07 Meet The Therapist
05:36 Rescue Then Empower
07:42 The Hidden Five Percent
12:55 Asking For What You Need
15:07 Safety And Self Rescue
16:25 Boundaries Or Validation
18:35 Grief Stage In Recovery
20:46 Grieving Unmet Progress
21:59 Widening Tolerance Window
23:03 God Accepts You Always
24:43 Reintegrating Prayer Life
28:01 Mindfulness After Acting Out
29:47 Inner Monologue Journaling
31:11 Applying Skills Beyond Sex
35:03 No Silver Bullet Recovery
39:03 Living in the Gray
40:33 Wrap Up and Next Steps