Suzanne Leydecker built a life that looked good from the outside: a husband at Goldman Sachs, children, a home in New York. Then one night, over what had been an ordinary date-night dinner, he told her he was leaving. He'd already arranged for his mother to fly in and help her "pull herself together."

In this conversation, Suzanne talks candidly about the months that followed—the summer she buried herself in fun to avoid the pain, the late-night deck conversations where she realized he was deciding whether to stay or go, and her decision to tell him to follow his heart rather than beg him to choose her. She also opens up about what came after the divorce: years of repeating the same broken patterns in new relationships, shaped by a childhood in an emotionally volatile home where she learned to cry so no one would yell at her.

Suzanne and Tim have an honest, sometimes pointed exchange about a question that shows up often in affair recovery conversations: how much responsibility a betrayed partner should take for a marriage's breakdown. Suzanne pushes for a version of accountability that includes her own contributions, while Tim challenges the idea that unmet needs explain infidelity. It's a rich back-and-forth, and listeners are invited to sit with the tension rather than expect a tidy answer.

Suzanne now works with women on what she calls her three pillars: personal responsibility, saying no when it's not a "hell yeah," and treating themselves and others with kindness. She writes about her journey in her book, A Woman On Top: My Journey of Self-Discovery Through Love and Money.

LINKS and EXTRAS

Episode Page: https://affairhealing.com/podcasts/064

Suzanne Leydecker’s website: suzanneleydecker.com

Listen to Tim’s conversations with his ex: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.

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