Your child gets upset, lashes out, picks on her brother, and the family walks on eggshells around her. Then she beats herself up. Yelling won't work. But talking to her with a sweet, affirming tone will actually make it worse as well. So how can you use intensity and a different tone of voice to change these situations? While you can't control your child's behavior, you can always control your tone of voice. And it's more critical than you know.