We Can Do Hard Things

We welcome our very first guest, author and sex educator Emily Nagoski, who talks with us about how to finally build true, joyful, confident sex lives:

1. How our sex issues are totally normal—we’re all worrying about the same things. 

2. Why more than 75% of women do not orgasm from penetration alone—and why Glennon thinks the world doesn’t want us to know that.

3. The single factor that is most predictive of strong sustained sexual connection over time. 

4. How Abby’s still healing after a lifetime in locker rooms spent comparing her body to other women’s bodies.

CW: We reference sexual trauma, including what to say when someone discloses sexual trauma to you. 

About Emily: EMILY NAGOSKI is the award-winning author of the New York Times bestselling COME AS YOU ARE and THE COME AS YOU ARE WORKBOOK, and coauthor, with her sister, Amelia, of New York Times bestseller BURNOUT: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. She earned an M.S. in counseling and a Ph.D. in health behavior, both from Indiana University, with clinical and research training at the Kinsey Institute. Now she combines sex education and stress education to teach women to live with confidence and joy inside their bodies. She lives in Massachusetts with two dogs, a cat, and a cartoonist.

Podcast: https://www.feministsurvivalproject.com

Instagram: @enagoski

Twitter: @emilynagoski

1. Why Abby says that people pleasing is both her superpower and her Achilles heel.

2. Why Glennon says playing with kids is just the worst—and insists it’s okay for adults to sit it out. (This is why she’s not a parenting expert.)

3. Why Glennon and Abby decided to say goodbye to Florida and hello to California.

4. Glennon, Abby, and Amanda answer rapid fire questions about: their astrological signs, first kisses, and their morning routines.

1. The one question to ask ourselves if we want to know if our love is really reaching our people.

2. How Glennon’s dearest friend Liz Gilbert taught her that a relaxed woman is the new revolution.

3. Abby offers tips for bonus parents—and why she says earning her kids’ love has been the most rewarding part in her entire life.

1. The amazing life hack that has Glennon and Abby replying “Yes” to social invitations.

2. Glennon acknowledges her sexual fantasies … and TRIES (but fails) to share them.

3. Glennon talks about how she “knew what to do” the first time she and Abby were together.

4. The best and worst parts of Glennon and Abby’s big California move.

1. How Abby discovered she was gay while out to dinner with her parents at a Macaroni Grill.

2. The moment Glennon knew for sure she was queer (in an Amish Boogie Nights bathroom)—and the song that sealed the deal.

3. How, as a straight, cis woman, Amanda never had to wrestle with her sexuality, why she thinks that stunted her exploration.

4. How Glennon’s failed Van Gogh visit inspired Amanda’s next sex steps.

1. The viral note Glennon wrote to herself in her car this week—and how the world’s response confirmed that we’re all struggling right now.

2. How we tend to either Avoid the world’s pain or Be Consumed by it—and how to survive the overwhelm by embracing the Third Way.

3. What Glennon fears most as her oldest child leaves for college.

4. Why we can’t let the fact that we can’t fix everything keep us from doing something—and how Together Rising began.

1. Glennon describes how she’s feeling as her oldest leaves for college—and the survival strategy that’s getting her through.

2. The life secret someone told Glennon in early sobriety that changed her life.

3. Amanda discusses the only two strategies that are proven to help us cope with our emotions and become more resilient. 

4. How hard feelings always reveal something to you about you.

5. How the life hack Glennon calls “Save as Drafts” has saved her relationships.

1. Amanda presents a case for “summer rain” love—and rejects “lightning love” as the highest form of romantic love.

2. Glennon’s theory for when to speak up and when to shut up.

3. How Abby’s experience in a mostly male meeting showed her that “silent solidarity” is a cowardly lie.

4. The trick Glennon uses to communicate with highly sensitive kiddos. (Abby swears it works every time.)

1. Five communication ideas that might help us connect more deeply with people.

2. How Glennon feels that “everyone is talking but nobody is listening to each other ever” and why that’s one of the reasons most of us feel lonely. 

3. The conversation strategy that Glennon and Abby use at the dinner table with their kids and friends.

4. Why we love talking about ourselves—and when it helps (and when it hurts) our relationships.

1. Glennon lets f-ing loose about the misogyny in our cursing lexicon—and how it reveals our hidden conditioning. (Note: Don’t listen with the kiddos.)

2. The connection between how little girls are taught to avoid conflict with each other and how adult women are called “catty.” 

3. What Glennon really means when she says she’s a feminist—and why she’s baffled when a group fighting for their own equality turns on another group fighting for theirs.

4. Why Glennon says that the teenage years may be her favorite parenting era yet.