Trauma therapist (and survivor of marriage to a narcissist) Caroline Strawson joins us to discuss: how to know if someone’s really a narcissist; how to know if you’re more likely to get into a relationship with a narcissist (and avoid it); strategies for parallel parenting with a narcissist; how the brain and body respond to narcissists; and how to rebuild after ending a relationship with a narcissist. 

CW: Abusive relationships, self harm

For more related episodes, check out: ⁠Episode 170 The Most Radical Way to Heal: Internal Family Systems with Dr. Becky Kennedy⁠, ⁠Episode 169 Why We Love the Way We Love: Attachment Styles with Dr. Becky Kennedy⁠, and ⁠Episode 142 Codependence: How to Stop Controlling Others with Melody Beattie⁠

About Caroline: 

Caroline Strawson is a Trauma Therapist and Coach specializing in helping others heal from the trauma and shame of narcissistic abuse. She hosts the Narcissistic Abuse & Trauma Recovery Podcast and is the #1 best selling author of Divorce Became My Superpower. Having been married to a covert narcissist herself, Caroline was in debt, lost her family home, and was at rock bottom with PTSD, depression, anxiety, and self-harm. Caroline integrates Internal Family Systems, Somatic Experiencing, Brainspotting and breath work with positive psychology, to help others move from post traumatic stress to post traumatic growth.

TW: ⁠@cstrawson11⁠

IG: ⁠@carolinestrawson

Imagine if you could ask someone anything you wanted about their finances. On What We Spend, people from across the country and across the financial spectrum are opening their wallets—and their lives—to tell you everything: what they make, what they want, and—for one week—what they spend.

411. Inside Trump’s Personal Profits: His Abuse of Power for Private Deals & Who is Paying the Price | Jessica Yellin & Amanda

Award-winning journalist Jessica Yellin joins Amanda to expose how Trump’s personal profit, political power grabs, and selective immigration policies are reshaping American democracy—and what we can do about it.

From the scandal behind Trump’s “free” plane to the foreign “investments” flooding his businesses, Jessica and Amanda connect the dots between foreign entanglements, mass deportations, and economic cruelty disguised as policy.

-How Trump is using public office for private gain—and what it signals about self-enrichment at the highest levels;-The alarming surge in ICE raids and what your local law enforcement may have to do with it;-The Afrikaner refugee scam—and what it reveals about race, privilege, and the weaponization of asylum;

-How cuts to Medicaid are funding tax breaks for the ultra-wealthy;-And the concrete actions you can take—locally and federally—to disrupt the dangerous normalization of these policies.

Jessica Yellin is the founder of News Not Noise, a pioneering Webby award-winning independent news brand -- dedicated to helping you manage your  “information overload.” She is the former chief White House correspondent for CNN and an Emmy, Peabody and Gracie Award-winning political correspondent. You can follow her on Instagram at Jessica Yellin.

And also, to get real time, clear and brilliant reporting, go to substack.com and search for her page newsnotnoise and subscribe there.

410.  Are You a Cynic, Optimist, or Skeptic? Dr. Jamil Zaki Shares Which Way is Happiest 

Dr. Jamil Zaki–a Stanford psychologist and director of their Social Neuroscience Lab–discusses how worldviews like optimism, cynicism, and skepticism shape our lives, health, and relationships. 

-The three lies we tell ourselves about cynicism

-Why we need to stop putting faith in people who don’t put faith in people

-The quiz you need to know if you’re a cynic

-Why hope could very well save your life

Dr. Jamil Zaki is a professor of psychology at Stanford University and the director of the Stanford Social Neuroscience Lab. He trained at Columbia and Harvard, studying empathy and kindness in the human brain. He is interested in how we can learn to connect better. Dr. Zaki is the author of The War For Kindness and, most recently, Hope for Cynics.

Glennon’s son, Chase, joins Glennon for a special conversation with his hero, author Ocean Vuong, to discuss:

1. Chase shares with Ocean the impact his work has had in his life–and Glennon thanks Ocean for helping mother her son.

2. What Ocean learned from his mother about how to navigate being an Asian boy in America–and Glennon’s recognition that she did not prepare Chase for the same realities.

3. Ocean’s new book, Time is a Mother, and why watching his own mother die gave Ocean a deep empathy and connection to every person.

4. His relationship to maleness–and why Ocean is interested in “staying and complicating” masculinity.

About Ocean:

Ocean Vuong, author of the critically acclaimed poetry collection Night Sky with Exit Wounds, and the New York Times bestselling novel On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous is a recipient of the 2019 MacArthur "Genius Grant" and the winner of the Whiting Award and the T. S. Eliot Prize. In Time Is a Mother, Ocean's newest poetry collection available now, he reckons with his mother’s death, embodying the paradox of sitting within grief while being determined to survive beyond it. His writings have been featured in The Atlantic, Harper's Magazine, The Nation, The New Republic, The New Yorker, and The New York Times. Born in Saigon, Vietnam, he currently lives in Northampton, Massachusetts.

IG: ⁠ocean_vuong

1. Content warning: Discussion of suicide.

2. Jenny puts words to her experience of ADD – "being a kitten on cocaine" – and her anxiety – seeing "rainbow fire.” 

3. How Jenny felt guilty for years about a way her mental illness impacted her mothering – only to later learn it was her child’s favorite memory.

4. The moment she decided to be honest about her struggles – and how sharing our awkwardness can save the world and cure our loneliness.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255

About Jenny:

Jenny Lawson is an award-winning humorist known for her great candor in sharing her struggle with mental illness. She's written four NYT bestsellers, including Let's Pretend This Never Happened (a mostly true memoir), Furiously Happy (A funny book about terrible things), You Are Here (An owner's manual for dangerous minds) and Broken (in the best possible way), which recently won the Goodreads Choice award for Best Humor of 2021. One of those books is a coloring book but she insists it still counts. She lives in Texas with her husband and child and would like to be your friend unless you're a real asshole.

TW: ⁠@TheBloggess⁠

IG: ⁠@thebloggess

409. The Woman Who Spoke Truth To Trump: Bishop Budde

Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde, during President Trump's inauguration service, delivered a powerful sermon on unity and directly appealed to the President for mercy on behalf of vulnerable communities. Today, she joins us to discuss her courageous stand and explore how we can embody both strength and compassion in our own lives.​

-How to carry your despair and cynicism instead of handing it to others

-Exposing the lies of partisanship and how to fight for dignity for all​

-The “sin of empathy”? The chilling rise of this idea in Christian Nationalist circles

-Why not knowing what to do in this political moment is part of the preparation​

Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde serves as spiritual leader for the Episcopal congregations and schools in the District of Columbia and four Maryland counties that comprise the Episcopal Diocese of Washington. The first woman elected to this position, she also serves as the chair of the Protestant Episcopal Cathedral Foundation which oversees the ministries of the Washington National Cathedral and Cathedral schools. She is an advocate and organizer in support of justice, including racial equity, gun violence prevention, immigration reform, the full inclusion of LGBTQ+ persons, and the care of creation. She is the author of three books; the most recent, How We Learn to Be Brave: Decisive Moments in Life and Faith, was published in 2023.

408. What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish

Last year, Tish went on her very first international music tour. Today Abby, Glennon, and Amanda reflect on what it was like to watch Tish step toward her dream and how they, especially Abby, supported her through her journey. 

-How this tour changed and solidified Abby and Tish’s relationship forever 

-What this tour taught Glennon and Abby about the power of community 

-How it felt to Abby and Glennon to watch Tish on stage every night alone with her guitar

1. Sam’s life-changing strategies for (reluctantly) interacting with humans.

2. How we use humor to hide the lava of rage churning beneath our surface.

3. Sam’s friendship theory and why she doesn’t need a deep soul connection with every “lowercase f friend.”

4. Sam’s embrace of JOMO (Joy of Missing Out)–and why she genuinely believes no one else is having a better time (except maybe Abby).

5. The behind-the-scenes story of the “Fat Babe Pool Party” Shrill show–and why that episode was one of the most important things she’s ever written.

About Samantha:

Samantha Irby writes the "Bitches Gotta Eat" blog, and is the author of WOW, NO THANK YOU; WE ARE NEVER MEETING IN REAL LIFE; and MEATY. She has been a writer and/or co-producer for TV shows including And Just Like That, Work in Progress, Shrill, and Tuca & Bertie.

IG: ⁠@bitchesgottaeat

1. Glennon explains her “soundaries”—and why a lack of audiorial yield in public places is her biggest peeve.

2. Abby’s struggle, as a bonus parent, adjusting to a kid-filled life with zero personal space and personal property boundaries.

3. Why Amanda is allergic to the word “fine”—and why she’s stopped saying “I didn’t have time.