We Should Talk About That

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Failure. It's a scary word in general, but when it comes to our kids and letting them 'fail' we are a generation of parents that will go to great lengths to keep that from happening. Maybe it's the way Gen Xers were parented (or not parented) or our need to achieve or just our general fear of upsetting the proverbial apple cart- one thing is clear: our kids are not getting the best end of the stick when it comes to trying, failing, and getting back up again.

In her book, 'The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go so their Children can Succeed." author Jessica Lehay brings so many personal experiences from her classroom, and parenting fails through the pages of this book in order to help parents see how detrimental bailing their children out can really be. The Two Jess(es) bring all their parenting questions to this third Jess and are met with a wealth of experience, wisdom and professional advice.

The book is a must read, and this episode is a must listen, for those parents who may be struggling to empower their children with the gift of independence, competence and confidence in the face of disappointment. 

https://www.jessicalahey.com/

Book Link:
https://www.jessicalahey.com/the-gift-of-failure-2

List of Resources mentioned on the show:
https://static1.squarespace.com/static/51d5b70de4b07e30233ade36/t/5e4193261be2517dbcdee8d3/1581355814271/Bibliography.pdf

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Summer Sabbatical for WeSTAT continues! This time, we revisit one of our favorite episodes about (ahem) one of our favorite places, VAGINA TOWN with Dr. Gopi Pillai- a pelvic health physical therapist who is incredibly knowledgeable about all things having to do with your vagina, and entertaining.as.hell. :-) 

Dr. Gopi takes this episode to a whole new level with an in-depth visit to 'Vagina Town.' She explains then ins and outs (pun intended!) of the often overlooked importance of pelvic health, details the signs and symptoms that could be a result of problems with the pelvis, and well, just has a lot of fun talking about it all. In her words: 'her job is to help people enjoy sex again!' And she LOVES it!

TTJ(es) have a lot of fun with this incredibly informative conversation. Even if the word Vagina, (and dicks) makes you uncomfortable,  stick with it- and take a ride to Vagina Town with Dr. Gopi- there is help out there for us all!

Meet Dr. Gopi!

Gopi was born and raised in New York and graduated from Stony Brook University with a Doctorate in Physical Therapy in 2003 at which time her interest in Women's Health began. She eventually moved to Brooklyn, where she started the first Women's Health PT program at a major hospital. Gopi went on to open a private practice in Brooklyn, specializing in male and female pelvic health for 8 years until her family life brought her to Northern Virginia.

She started Blueprint Physical Therapy in January of 2019 and has loved getting to know her new surroundings while providing in home visits around DC, Maryland and Virginia. She is dedicated to continuing education and is a teacher, teaching assistant and lecturer for providers of many disciplines and for the community. She's also a wife and mom of a 4 and 5 year old and just added a pandemic puppy to her family.

http://blueprintphysicaltherapy.com

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All through the month of July, The Two Jess(es) will be re-airing some of their favorite conversations from the very beginning of WeSTAT. This particular conversation on motherhood, the high highs, and the low lows- and everything in between, from season one, is definitely one to revisit. 

Considering this original conversation took place prior to the world changing due to COVID, TTJ(es) are happy to report that they have really leaned in to the practice of "Good Enough Mothering" out of necessity, and realize that nothing really happens before it's supposed to- including the lessons learned from our most precious and relentless little life interrupters. 

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Jen Griswold is a woman with a mission, and always has been. From the very beginning of her military career, Jen has been committed to sharing the hard won lessons she has learned with those around her- especially military spouses. With the arrival of children, Jen found herself in the role of "support services" while her husband was deployed, and as she looked around at other military spouses around her, she  realized there was a bottomless pool of untapped potential that needed to be set free. 

So, she started a business. And then another one. And then another one. Today, Jen is an author Mission Entrepreneur: Applying Lessons from Military Life to Create Success in Business Startups and  an entrepreneur, and retired military officer with a heart for serving
her community through teaching entrepreneurship and providing marketing resources to
women who want to launch their own businesses.  

Today, Jen leads the training, development, and production of a distributed team of over 9,000 entrepreneurs that produces over $20M in skincare sales annually.  
Jen Griswold has been featured on the Today Show, in Arlington Magazine, NextGenMilspouse, and on a variety of podcasts about entrepreneurship and performance.
Jen also founded a website and branding development company dedicated to helping women in business grow their impact through marketing. Her company Mission Entrepreneur is launching a social software product in 2021 that will make design and technology accessible to anyone with a social media account. 

This is such an inspirational conversation with Jen, Jess and Jess, for any woman who is flirting with the idea of entrepreneurship because of their heart for service, and desire to be successful in any capacity in which they put their hands to.

To find out more about Jen Griswold visit: https://jengriswold.com/

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After the birth of her daughter, Ilsa Manning left the fragrance industry to focus on her family. After a dinner with girlfriends, Ilsa came home one night with the realization that while her time with her daughter was finite, her potential to model what she was capable of as a mother, a woman, an entrepreneur was in fact not finite- but that the possibilities for what her life could become, was INFINITE. 

Ilsa candidly shares how she created her fragrance line in 2015- and the outpouring of inspiration and challenges she came up against as an entrepreneur, but the mindset of "just keep going" and how it has turned into this beautiful company that empowers women, donates funds to Girls on the Run. 

A little bit of education on how fragrance creation works, and industry insider tips, a whole lotta women supporting women power, and gobs of inspiration- this is a really uplifting episode that will make you look at your perfume differently, and yourself as infinite.

Meet Ilsa!
There are no limits at Ilsa Fragrances. Here, we are about encouraging inspiration and beauty through thoughtful, unique creations that empower you to do and be whatever you dream. And as dreams begin when we are children, Ilsa Fragrances donates 5% of net proceeds to Girls on the Run, a nonprofit for girls' empowerment. After the birth of my first daughter, life handed me the opportunity to combine my knowledge, skills and dreams to create Ilsa Fragrances, a company that encourages women to believe in themselves, no matter what obstacle they face. I lacked this all important self belief until my daughter’s arrival in my life. My desire to be the best person I could be for her gave me the confidence I needed to finally pursue my dreams. By taking action and creating Ilsa Fragrances, I hope to teach my daughter, and her little sister, that their capabilities are infinite and that if they can imagine it, they can do it. So to you, to my daughters, and to myself, I say:

Never mind the sky – there is no limit!

https://www.ilsafragrances.com/

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From dinners and homework to holiday card photos and summer vacations, Nikki DeBartolo and Ben Heldfond have created a tight-knit, enviable family. They work and play well together, from the smallest daily tasks to the biggest life events—and it only took a divorce to get them there. Though their marriage has been over for over a decade, they still share a happy life with each other and their son Asher, along with their spouses and children.

The Two Jess(es) sit down with Nikki and Ben and witness this phenomenon first hand. Two people who are self-aware enough to realize they "got the path of being in love and loving each other mixed up," in itself is incredible, but to hear them speak of their commitment and respect for their son, and how putting him first became the only thing that mattered, is not only inspiring, but an important example for parents everywhere- married or divorced.

To find out more about Ben and Nikki's experience you can go to https://ourhappydivorce.com/ and read their book: https://www.amazon.com/Our-Happy-Divorce-Marriage-Together/dp/1631779974/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Our+Happy+Divorce&qid=1568927277&sr=8-1

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In celebration of the diversity and accomplishments that have taken place in the LGBQTIA community amidst so much historical adversity and discrimination, the Two Jess(es) have the extreme privilege of sitting down with one of the most thought-provoking journalists working today.  Hari Ziyad, author of  Black Boy Out of Time, candidly shares their experience of growing up Black and queer in America—and in a blended family as one of nineteen children. In BLACK BOY OUT OF TIME, Hari Ziyad recalls their childhood with a Hindu Hare Krsna mother and a Muslim father in Cleveland, Ohio, and navigating the equally complex path toward finding their true self in New York City. Exploring childhood, gender, race, and the trust that is built, broken, and repaired through generations, Ziyad investigates what it means to live beyond the limited narratives Black children are given and challenges the irreconcilable binaries that restrict them.

This is a conversation that really digs into Hari's experience as a young, queer, Black, non-binary human who is brave enough to share their stories and how they show up in the world authentically in order to honor their past, present and future in a way that advocates, educates and celebrates.

Meet Hari:
Hari Ziyad is a screenwriter, the bestselling author of Black Boy Out of Time (Little A, 2021) and the Editor-in-Chief of RaceBaitr. They received their BFA from New York University, where they concentrated in Film and Television and Psychology. Their work is informed by their passion for storytelling, and wrestling with identity as a Cleveland, Ohio-born Black, non-binary child of Muslim and Hindu parents.

​They are a 2021 Lambda Literary Fellow, and their writing has been featured in Gawker, Out, The Guardian, Huffington Post, Ebony, Mic, Paste Magazine, AFROPUNK, in the peer-reviewed academic journal Critical Ethnic Studies, and in the anthology co–edited by Michael Dumas, Ashley Woodson and Carl Grant entitled The Future is Black: Afropessimism, Fugitivity and Radical Hope in Education, among other publications.

 They are also a script consultant on the drama series David Makes Man (OWN), a columnist (and the former Managing Editor) of Black Youth Project, and an Assistant Editor of Vinyl Poetry & Prose.

https://www.hariziyad.com/

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100 Episodes.

100 freaking episodes.

The Two Jess(es) are here, for the ONE HUNDREDTH TIME, and bringing one of their most joyful WeSTATers and dear friend, Joey Klei on, to co-host right along with them. Amidst the conversations between TTJ(es) and Joey, past guests from We Should Talk About That, as well as listeners from the WeSTAT community, share their contributions of what bring them JOY.
The conversation goes from hard back books to eating in restaurants, air fryers, and singing Mr. Rogers songs. It is clear that what brings us all joy, is the simple things like reheating pizza and the feeling of cool sheets on a hot evening!

This episode is not only a celebration, but marks the accomplishment of TTJ(es) and sticking to the mission of creating a space for authentic conversation so that others might feel less isolated and alone.
 
For more reference on past guests that have contributed to this episode, check out the following WeSTAT episodes:

- Rachel Lankester: https://www.buzzsprout.com/768062/7448023
- Gia Hassan: https://www.buzzsprout.com/768062/7586719
- Andrea Driessen: https://www.buzzsprout.com/768062/7732705
- Cherie Craft: https://www.buzzsprout.com/768062/8088329
- Sherrie Price: https://www.buzzsprout.com/768062/7114633
- Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus: https://www.buzzsprout.com/768062/8046730
- Shauna Ahern: https://www.buzzsprout.com/768062/5316610
- Dr. Rachel Orscheln: https://www.buzzsprout.com/768062/4448477
- Annette Brechbill: https://www.buzzsprout.com/768062/8271296

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Betty Hart lives a life of intention. And that intention is what led her down the exploratory road of investigating why we, as a culture, cancel the people we love and who have had a positive impact on our lives, because they espouse something we don't agree, or may hurt us on a spiritual level.
Betty proposes that compassion for those we love, and who love us back, deconstructs the practice of cancel culture, and allows for space to suffer along side someone, on their good days and bad days- allowing us an opportunity to plant seeds of love, through curiosity, and a willingness to ask questions in order to get a clearer context of what is said, or the message that is displayed.

Clearly, Betty has hit a nerve with her ideas, as her TED talk has been viewed over 1 million times. This is a challenging conversation that makes room for the real reason for communication- listening to understand, and allowing everyone the opportunity to choose their own path.

Betty advocates for giving space, loving, and allowing ourselves the opportunity to work and be with those who believe differently, live differently, speak differently than us.
Betty also offers an inside look into how the arts were devastated by the pandemic, and brings perspective to the life of an artist and the shut down for so many on a heart, soul and financial level.
 
Meet Betty!
Betty is a theatre artist whose mission is to help create space for necessary conversations.   Through acting, directing and facilitating, Betty strives to be a change agent and a force for positivity, creativity, and collaboration.  

 In 2020, Betty had the opportunity to direct the Henry nominated The Scottsboro Boys for Vintage Theatre.  She also directed Josh Kroenig’s Vroom Vroom for Local Lab, which audiences never saw due to the theatre wide shut down.  Betty performed in Stories on Stage “Don’t look away: Black stories matter”.  

In the “before” Betty performed in Barnum at the Fine Arts Center, Caroline, or Change at the Aurora Fox, Richard III and You Can’t Take it with you at the Colorado Shakespeare Festival, the immersive outdoor show Rausch with the Catamounts, and had the great privilege of being in The Mountaintop at the Arvada Center in 2016.

In 2021, Betty directed To the Moon by Beth Kander, a powerful domestic violence awareness play for Creede Repertory Theatre and has just completed directing a devised theatrical film for the University of Northern Colorado called 2020 Speaks, which will be streamed in late April.

Instagram:  @actorbetty
Check out Betty's TED talk @ https://www.ted.com/talks/betty_hart_how_compassion_could_save_your_strained_relationships?language=en

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**Barnyard Language Alert!!!** Listen without little ears present :-)
Jess and Jess laugh til they pee their pants with these two podcasters, Jaimie Kelton and Robin Hopkins, co-hosts of "If These Ovaries Could Talk."
Lesbians who have had to take a non-traditional approach to building their families, they decided it was high time to start talking about and sharing stories that represent the LGBTQ community and the highs and lows of baby making, family building, instilling pride in their kids about their family constellation, and everything in between.
A conversation about podcasting, the pandemic and what it is to speak your truth as a mom, a podcaster, just a human being, this conversation is entertaining as well as enlightening.
For more hillariousness, check out "If These Ovaries Could Talk" wherever you get your  podcasts!
Meet Jaimie and Robin!
Jaimie Kelton is an actor, singer, dancer, voice over artist and podcaster based in New York City. She has over 17 years of experience performing on stages in NYC, as well as in Regional Theaters, on National tours, and for a few dreamlike years, singing and tanning on a cruise ship. She is a Helen Hayes Award Recipient. Her voice can be heard in various forms on Disney’s hit cartoon, The Octonauts, SYFY’sHAPPY!, and Amazon’s soon to be aired, Bug Diaries. She co-hosts the podcast If These Ovaries Could Talk, where she chats with non-traditional families about making babies when making babies doesn’t come naturally. She lives with her wife, two children and a tiny dog in Manhattan.

For her day job, Robin is an Executive Producer of "Amy Schumer Presents: 3 Girls, 1  Keith" the original podcast on Spotify.  But, Robin is also an actor, writer and producer who began her career as a stand-up comic. She is a frequent contributor to Medium and Huff Po with essays featured in the Parents and Queer Voices sections. Robin is also an accomplished playwright. Her one-woman show, In Search of Tulla Berman debuted to sold-out crowds in San Francisco and enjoyed subsequent runs in Winnipeg, Canada, the Pelican Theatre in New York City, and ended with a month-long run at the Ars Nova Theatre. Her Film &TV credits include Boardwalk Empire, Louie and Hindsight and some really great “big hands acting” on Celebrity Ghost Stories and Monsters Inside Me. Most recently, Robin merged all of her creative worlds producing, writing and acting in the comedic digital short series Stupid Michelle & Dumb Robin.

https://www.ovariestalk.com/

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