We Should Talk About That

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Among many things, the pandemic of 2020 has brought along with it a huge spotlight that has brought into focus so many inequalities, imbalances and well, problems, within our society and culture. But along with that, many of the coping skills we have employed to get through life in a less than steady relationship are gone, and there are many couples out there who are literally crumbling.

Jennifer Lehr, creator of the relationship curriculum WeConcile, which is  a revolutionary do-it-yourself online educational application that helps couples improve trust, intimacy, safety and connection through established relationship science, shares what she has learned in her 20 years as a marriage and family therapist and offers hope and help to those who may be struggling right now, and may need some alternatives to traditional therapy modalities.

Jennifer's offering allows every relationship access to the help they may need in order to build a space of connection and belonging.

Meet Jennifer!
In her younger years, she did not have the skills needed to have a successful relationship. Like many others, Jennifer grew up in a family with difficult family dynamics. She changed that by spending years working on her own issues, educating herself as well as studying and training as a couples therapist and working with couples. Jennifer knew that if she could change her relationship ability from poor to excellent, anybody could. 

In 2009, she began writing WeConcile a revolutionary do-it-yourself online educational application that helps couples improve trust, intimacy, safety and connection through established relationship science. She created WeConcile to help couples get free from pain and disconnection, and to again find happiness in marriage. Now, Jennifer Lehr is on a mission to create a world filled with connection instead of conflict.  She specializes in educating couples on the relationship skills they need to build a solid, connected and loving partnership. As a marriage and family therapist for nearly 20 years, she uses her knowledge and advanced training in many couples' modalities to help others succeed in their marriage.

Jennifer is a regular contributor to many online publications as well as her blogs, sharing her experience and expertise to help people improve their lives and relationships. She also writes and talks about her journey from a difficult relational beginning to creating a beautiful relationship with her husband, Mike. 

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**Mature Content** Topics such as suicide and mental illness are woven throughout this conversation.

If you have not watched the super popular Amazon Series Modern Love yet- you are missing out. Particularly episode three, 'Take Me as I Am, Whoever I Am' which portrays a woman (played by the lovely Anne Hathaway) struggling to live life with bipolar disorder.  This episode was inspired by an essay written by today's guest, Terri Cheney, which was published in the New York Times in 2008.

Today The Two Jess(es) get a chance to sit down with author Terri Cheney, to talk about what it is like to live life as a high profile entertainment lawyer in Hollywood who also struggles through cycles of mania and deep depression caused by bipolar disorder. Terri, who now spends her time advocating on behalf of those who are in need of mental health support, candidly shares her thoughts and experiences and is incredibly inspiring by the strength and clarity with which she shares some of her darkest moments.

There are some very serious moments broken up by hilarious stories proving that living with bipolar disorder successfully is possible.
Terry's newest book, Modern Madness was released in September is available for purchase wherever you buy books.

https://www.amazon.com/Modern-Madness-Owners-Terri-Cheney/dp/0306846306/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1604233522&sr=8-1-spons

https://www.amazon.com/Season-1-Official-Teaser/dp/B0875GVR5Z/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2F2KWAQVGKCFJ&dchild=1&keywords=modern+love+episode+3&qid=1604233439&sprefix=modern+love+episode%2Caps%2C178&sr=8-1

Meet Terri:
Terri Cheney is the author of the New York Times bestseller Manic. Terri’s writings and commentary about bipolar disorder have also been featured in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, the Huffington Post, NPR, PsychologyToday.com, and countless articles and popular blogs. She is a member of the Board of Directors of the Saks Institute for Mental Health Law, Policy, and Ethics at USC, the Honorary Board of Directors of the International Bipolar Foundation, and the Board of Directors of Project Return Peer Support Network. She also served on the Community Advisory Board of the UCLA Mood Disorders Research Program. She founded and facilitates a weekly mental health support group at UCLA’s Neuropsychiatric Institute. She currently lives in Los Angeles.

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On this nine year anniversary of Jess B's kidnapping (we know, that IS a really weird sentence, but there really is no other way around it!) TTJ(es) invite Jess B's husband, Erik Landemalm, to come on and do most of the talking.  

Sitting around Jess B and Erik's kitchen table, the three have a really open and honest conversation about what it was like for Erik when he got the call on October 25, 2011 that his wife had been kidnapped at gunpoint, and dragged off into the Somali desert. He shares his thoughts, simultaneously pragmatic and dark, about what it was like to be the one left behind, how he felt he had failed his wife by not protecting her from this, and how every single day, he wrote her a love letter and asked himself the question: What Would Jess Want Me To Do? 

Jess B spends her working hours sharing about her kidnapping experience and what she has learned from it, but this time, she's not the one talking. This is a conversation on what it means to belong to each other, in pieces or in wholeness, absent or present and how we find the strength to carry on. 

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**Adult Content, NOT for little EARS!**

Continuing on in the theme of 'Enough...' The Two Jess(es) have had ENOUGH of several things, just to name a few: tinkling when they sneeze, peeing themselves when they laugh too hard, having to pee more than 14 times a day and the perpetual dryness, 'down there.'
ENOUGH already!

Dr. Gopi takes this episode to a whole new level with an in-depth visit to 'Vagina Town.' She explains then ins and outs (pun intended!) of the often overlooked importance of pelvic health, details the signs and symptoms that could be a result of problems with the pelvis, and well, just has a lot of fun talking about it all. In her words: 'her job is to help people enjoy sex again!' And she LOVES it!

TTJ(es) have a lot of fun with this incredibly informative conversation. Even if the word Vagina, (and dicks) makes you uncomfortable,  stick with it- and take a ride to Vagina Town with Dr. Gopi- there is help out there for us all!

Meet Dr. Gopi!

Gopi was born and raised in New York and graduated from Stony Brook University with a Doctorate in Physical Therapy in 2003 at which time her interest in Women's Health began. She eventually moved to Brooklyn, where she started the first Women's Health PT program at a major hospital. Gopi went on to open a private practice in Brooklyn, specializing in male and female pelvic health for 8 years until her family life brought her to Northern Virginia.

She started Blueprint Physical Therapy in January of 2019 and has loved getting to know her new surroundings while providing in home visits around DC, Maryland and Virginia. She is dedicated to continuing education and is a teacher, teaching assistant and lecturer for providers of many disciplines and for the community. She's also a wife and mom of a 4 and 5 year old and just added a pandemic puppy to her family.

http://blueprintphysicaltherapy.com

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Dr. Joshua Kefer brings decades of experience to this conversation with The Two Jess(es). Packed full of helpful information, this episode is also equal parts a therapy session as Dr. Kefer alleviates many of Jess and Jess' fears about the psychological impact the current pandemic, and virtual school setting may be causing for our children.

Dr. Kefer reminds us to pay attention to how we may be projecting our own fears and anxieties onto what our children are really experiencing, and brings with him a beautiful reminder to find something to tether ourselves to, because our children are tethering to us. 

If you are scared about how this is all affecting your school/college aged children, then spend some time with Dr. Kefer, he will make you feel like it really is going to be alright. 

Resource List:
Check out Dr. Kefer's Recommendations!

Mental Health Resources

Healthy Minds Blog

Healthy Minds Podcast

EAP Resources for Staff

Kognito Trainings

Self-Care:

§   Coping with Stress

§   Self-Care During COVID

Community Treatment

Community Service Board – Mental Health Concerns

https://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/community-services-board/about/merrifield-center

Mobile Crisis

https://www.cr2crisis.com/

 Online Resources and Tools

American Psychological Association (resources)

https://www.apa.org/topics/covid-19

 National Association of School Psychologist (resources)

https://www.nasponline.org/resources-and-publications/resources-and-podcasts/school-climate-safety-and-crisis/health-crisis-resources/helping-children-cope-with-changes-resulting-from-covid-19

 Virginia Department of Health (resources)

https://www.vdh.virginia.gov/coronavirus/

CDC – Resources for anxiety

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/daily-life-coping/managing-stress-anxiety.html

 Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration&a

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There is A LOT to unpack in this episode with Tara Haelle, a science and health journalist whose article "Your 'Surge Capacity' is Depleted-It's Why You Feel Awful" hit our radar in August as something we should definitely talk about.  We revisit familiar themes of toxic positivity, embracing the suck, and being OK with NOT being OK as well as learn new terminology like "surge capacity", "resilience banks", and "ambiguous loss".

Tara has also spent over a decade writing and reporting on vaccines for over a decade, so we dive right into the current status of the many COVID-19 vaccine developments.  She shares with us and our community her knowledge on the REAL timeline for a COVID vaccine and breaks down for us laymen how exactly to find information we can trust.  It's a pretty packed episode-one that we think you are going to need to listen to with a pen and paper, and probably more than once!

Tara Haelle is a freelance science and health journalist who has specialized in writing about vaccines, pediatrics, infectious disease, women’s health, mental health and medical research for the past decade. She is a Forbes contributor whose work also appears in NPR, the New York Times, Scientific American, O Magazine, Elemental, Self Magazine, HuffPost, and Medscape. She wrote the book Vaccination Investigation: The Science and History of Vaccines, and cowrote The Informed Parent: A Science-Based Guide to the First Four Years, with science journalist Emily Willingham. She has also authored a dozen children’s science books and given a TEDx talk about why parents fear vaccines.

https://elemental.medium.com/your-surge-capacity-is-depleted-it-s-why-you-feel-awful-de285d542f4c

https://elemental.medium.com/enough-with-the-hand-wringing-over-covid-19-vaccine-hesitancy-ef0bed6cd0fc

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/12/smarter-living/why-you-need-the-flu-shot-every-year.html

https://elemental.medium.com/50-experts-to-trust-in-a-pandemic-fe58932950e7

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggtkzkoI3eM&authuser=0

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Whether you can't live without pups in your life or not, this conversation is nothing but FEEL GOOD. Kathy Callahan, the matchmaker who actually introduced The Two Jess(es) way back when, shares her heart and experience with us as she recounts what it has been like to foster 175 puppies to date. Kathy candidly shares her journey to where she is now, and what she would describe as her 'best and highest use.'

Her book, 101 Rescue Puppies: One Family's Story of Fostering Dogs, Love and Trust, is available for order on September 29,2020 and it is filled with Kathy's beautiful photos, capturing the essence of who she is and what she is able to offer the world. Kathy is inspiring in the best kind of way and all the puppies and families she has touched with her work remain faithfully supportive and follow her around, just like her puppies do!

Meet Kathy!
Kathy Callahan is the author of 101 Rescue Puppies: One Family’s Story of Fostering Dogs, Love, and Trust. She’s a Certified Professional Dog Trainer (CPDT-KA) who specializes in puppyhood coaching in Alexandria, Virginia.  (She and her family continue to foster puppies amid their own furry pack.) More at  www.puppypicks.com.

Buy Kathy's book here:

https://www.amazon.com/101-Rescue-Puppies-Familys-Fostering/dp/1608686566/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2F9VI206T2PUP&dchild=1&keywords=kathy+callahan&qid=1601248170&s=books&sprefix=kathy+callahan%2Cstripbooks%2C134&sr=1-1

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/101-rescue-puppies-kathryn-gord-callahan/1136390637?ean=9781608686568

https://www.indiebound.org/book/9781608686568

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Looking for the silver lining in a difficult situation can be a great coping mechanism, but sometimes, it can actually become toxic. The Two Jess(es) talk with toxic positivity experts and therapists Dr. Jamie Long and Samara Quientero on what toxic positivity looks like, how it shows up in our lives and conversations, and how it can negatively impact the way we deal with stress and hardship in our lives.

Meet Dr. Jamie Long!
Dr. Jamie Long is a licensed clinical psychologist and co-owner of a boutique psychology practice, The Psychology Group Fort Lauderdale. For over 14 years, Dr. Long has served the South Florida community with her dedication to helping individuals lead meaningful lives and achieve mental wellness.  Her mission is to change the way people think about mental health therapy. She wants you to know that participating in therapy is a healthy habit and an important part of a healthy lifestyle. Dr. Long specializes in the treatment of anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and relationship issues.

Meet Samara Quintero!
Samara Quintero is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Hypnotherapist practicing in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Her mission is to help individuals resolve issues that have kept them from having the deeply fulfilling lives that they are deserving of. She specializes in working with trauma, anxiety, depression and relationships issues. Samara's therapeutic approach is unique in that she incorporates hypnosis, mindfulness, and an overall holistic perspective to create long lasting change in her client's lives.

https://thepsychologygroup.com/toxic-positivity/

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The Two Jess(es) have the immense privilege of sitting down to talk with author of the #1 New York Times Bestselling author of Dear Madam President, to discuss her newest work: She Proclaims: Our Declaration of Independence from a Man's World.

This is is not a man-haters hour, but rather, an episode filled to the brim with all the important observations that have led Jennifer to asking some uncomfortable questions about why things work the way they do for women in a man's world-or rather, really, why and how they do NOT work. Jennifer's experiences serving under the Obama administration as the White House Communications Director, and then as the head of Communications for the Hillary Clinton campaign offer ALL of us, valuable insight into the state of gender limitations in the professional realm and beyond.

Meet Jennifer!
Jennifer Palmieri is a writer and one of the most accomplished communications advisors in politics today.  Author of the number 1 New York Times bestseller Dear Madam President, Jennifer was White House Communications Director for President Obama and head of Communications for the Hillary Clinton presidential campaign.  Having served in the West Wing for 12 years under President Obama and President Clinton she has an unparalleled level of understanding in how US Presidents communicate in a complex media environment.  And as someone who worked on the campaign of the first female Democratic nominee, Jennifer has a unique perspective on how media and voters treat women in powerful positions. She is also a guest host of Showtime’s The Circus and a contributing editor to Vanity Fair.  

Purchase 
https://www.amazon.com/She-Proclaims-Declaration-Independence-World/dp/1538750651
https://www.vanityfair.com/contributor/jennifer-palmieri

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This is the talisman episode by which The Two Jess(es) are building WeSTAT's Season 2 around- exploring what it means to be ENOUGH, to have ENOUGH, to want ENOUGH, to say ENOUGH. This conversation with writer and creator of the massively successful food blog Gluten-Free Girl is everything we need as we begin this next season of pandemic life. Shauna exudes wisdom and ease, as she shares with TTJ(es) her experiences, practices and realizations on what is really and truly enough for our kids, our families, ourselves.

Find a space of quiet, pull out your journal and make yourself a cup of tea, because this episode is full of quotes and simple, yet profound thoughts you will want to read over and over again. 

Meet Shauna!
Shauna James Ahern is the author of the cookbook, Gluten-Free Girl and the Chef, named one of the best cookbooks of 2010 by The New York Times, and the food memoir, Gluten-Free Girl. She is also the author, photographer, and head baker at Gluten-Free Girl and the Chef, her much-loved food website (www.glutenfreegirl.com), which she creates with her chef husband, Daniel Ahern. Her work has been published or recognized by The New York Times, Gourmet, Bon Appetit, Epicurious, Babble, The Guardian, Gilt Taste, CNN's Eatocracy, and The Washington Post. Her latest cookbook, Gluten-Free Girl Everyday, was nominated for a James Beard award. She and her husband, with their two children, live on Vashon Island, where they are probably cooking something as you read this. 

You can support Shauna by subscribing to her blog @:
https://enough.substack.com/about

Purchase Enough @
https://www.amazon.com/Enough-Notes-Woman-Finally-Found/dp/1632172178/ref=sr_1_1?crid=N0SZ0G4XYL9A&dchild=1&keywords=enough+notes+from+a+woman+who+has+finally+found+it&qid=1599408626&sprefix=enough%3A+notes%2Caps%2C141&sr=8-1

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