We Still Like Each Other

This week Oh So Y’all Can Relate is BACK with a story titled, “Married, Separated, But Living Together”. This story is so valuable as it relates to young married couples, couples who stay together because of family pressure, as well as staying together just because it has been “so long” why start over? Also, at times it is difficult to even believe you deserve happiness after a turbulent relationship or breakup. 

Before that, Stephanie and Travis dive into two parenting hot topics. Should parents purchase toy kitchen sets for their sons? Should we tell our children the truth about Santa Claus? If so, when? Tune in to listen to our take, it is clear that our perspectives are shifting and not all the way hashed out when it comes to one of these topics.

This week Stephanie & Travis are joined by Brittany and Leo Polanco. Brittany amassed a 10K following on Instagram by sharing her personal journey with debt freedom. Her and Leo’s journey inspired Stephanie and Travis back in 2018 which they discuss in Episode 002: This Is Uncharacteristic Of Me.  They also got a small taste of what recording a podcast with a baby at home might be like. It wasn't as bad as they expected. Travis is a master sound and video engineer and that's on that! 

The Polanco’s give us details on their decision to purchase a home. They discuss how their priorities shifted once becoming parents and how some ‘homeowner v. renter’ misconceptions can lead to financial hardships. 

Have y'all noticed a trend in which people prefer to see and read about our struggles? When people are constantly sharing positive things it is labeled, “Toxic Positivity”. How does this impact how we decide what to share on our social platforms? How has this ideology played a role in the shift in Britany’s Instagram which is no longer heavily finance based? 

A big thank you goes out to Feedspot who ranked us number 11 on their Top 45 Relationship Podcast list: https://blog.feedspot.com/relationship_podcasts/

This week Stephanie and Travis recap their hectic couple of weeks. From getting their apartment “repainted”, seeing River at an ultrasound, and  the highlight of Eli's year, staying at a Holiday Inn Express. Anyone else’s child get super excited about something so simple? 

They weigh in on the DaniLeigh and Da Baby drama. What was his intention with going live? Can we simultaneously call people out on their BS (colorism & homophobia in this case) while also holding compassion for them? When does ignorance stop being an excuse? 

Finally, Stephanie is currently hashing out a new perspective when it comes to infidelity and sleeping with married men. Travis pushes her to choose her words wisely. Is she shifting accountability in this scenario? How does partaking in an affair as the ‘other person’ impact your own life?

This week Travis and Stephanie are joined by Danyeli & Nick. Danyeli is a writer, spoken word poet, and community organizer that Stephanie has admired for several years. Her and Nick met at John Jay college where “everyone leaves there an activist or a cop”. They all chat about when Dominican women fall for Jamaican men and all the stigmas that follow. Colorism, misogyny, boundaries, and protecting one another at all cost. 

They dive into different ways codependency manifests itself in a relationship. How not all relationship advice is good advice. How many people have told you “never go to bed mad”? This conversation felt like free group couples therapy. It is always great when you get to share intimate details about your relationship and realize you're not alone.

This week Travis dabbles in the idea of finally enrolling in college. The reason is a tearjerker. We are that generation that wants to save for their child’s college expenses, but college is also becoming less and less necessary. So, what do you do?

Research findings are circulating that 75% of people who cheat, say their cheating improved their marriage. Let’s be super critical of who conducted this research. Could we also be open to the nuances of relationships after affairs?

Lastly, should mothers be full time caretakers? Are working moms to blame for “disrupting the balance” in the world? Well, that’s what Lil Duval thinks. See what Stephanie and Travis have to say about that. 

Happy Halloween from Stephanie & Travis! 

OMG “JaDA EmBaRaSsEd WiLi AgAin”, but did y’all actually listen to what she said? Travis and Stephanie did and y’all need to put away your pitch forks. Don’t believe everything you see online. ALWAYS be skeptical when the internet is attempting to bash women. This conversation leads to discussions about sex, communication, sexual affirmations, vulnerability, and sexual accountability. Stephanie admits to Travis for the first time that she was holding back in expressing a sexual desire. 

After gaining 1000+ new followers on TikTok within a couple of days, many of their comments were SPOOKY. So Stephanie and Travis dig a little deeper into the “1 in 4 couples sleep separately” statistics, cover more nuances with a focus on quality of sleep. Misogyny was also trending in their comments.  So you know Stephanie had a lot to say.

This week Stephanie and Travis discuss being honest about your intentions when initiating a relationship (sexual or romantic). We’ve all heard “just be honest at the beginning so no one gets hurt”. Yet there are people who rather get what they want and dash. Ouch. What’s the difference between directly paying for a sexual transaction and paying for dates and gifts with hopes of getting sex in return? We know one actually guarantees the sex. The other leads to disappointment, guilted/intimidated consent. 

Do you know anyone in an open relationship? Open marriage? Travis and Stephanie weigh in on this dynamic. Could you guess who has wanted to try it? Well sort of try it. Relationships have been evolving publicly in ways we wouldn’t have imagined just a few years ago. Polyamory works for some and sounds like torture for others.

Stephanie and Travis realize what they thought was an exception, is actually the norm. Most couples do not share equal levels of sex drives and most couples report this difference leads to arguments. This week they dive into ways people have found to make their relationship work despite that difference. Some may seem a little problematic, but making relationships work can be tricky. Why is talking about sex so weird? Even amongst couples! People who live together and have sex, are afraid to talk about sex. This can lead to unfulfilling sex and Travis and Stephanie want to help couples get over that. 

Did you know 25% of couples don’t sleep in the same bed? Majority of those couples keep it on the hush hush. So there’s a chance that 1 out of every 4 couples you know don’t share a bed. This was mind blowing information for Travis and Stephanie, who might as well be joined at the hip. However, it just makes sense for some people.