Recently, a number of parents in the Parenting Membership have posted in our community about challenges they've faced that they've navigated with grace that would have seemed insurmountable a couple of years ago.

 

Many of these are parents of children who are already through the toddler stage, and the parents are starting to see the tools they've been using come alive in their interactions with their children.

 

I thought: There's a podcast episode in that!

 

I asked parents to submit short videos to me responding to the question: What do you wish you had known about parenting when your children were young?

 

The resulting videos are collected, along with my commentary, in this week's episode.

 

The insights that these parents offer are profound. I don't want to give too much away, but let's just say that you're not going to hear advice about a must-have crib or wipe warmer or toy.

 

This is advice about:

 

If you want to hear from parents who share your values and who have been in it for a while to know what's worth worrying about and what isn't, this episode is for you.

 

If parenting feels really hard, and it seems like you’ve read all the books and you’ve asked for advice in free communities and you’re tired of having to weed through all the stuff that isn’t aligned with your values to get to the few good nuggets, then the Parenting Membership will help you out.

 

Join the waitlist to get notified when doors reopen in May 2025. Click the banner to learn more.

 

 

079: What is RIE?

084: The Science of RIE

085: White privilege in schools

SYPM 010: From anxious overwhelm to optimistic calm

 

01:40 Introduction of this episode’s topic

02:25 Jen admits that she didn't give much consideration to parenting before her daughter, Carys, was born

03:17 Jen shares how her journey into respectful parenting started through RIE

04:42 Parent Elizabeth reflects on her experience and shares what she wished she had known about parenting

06:33 The impact of unhealed trauma is reflected in the way we parent our children

07:21 How the arrival of a child can shift the balance in a relationship leading to conflict, even if both partners entered into the partnership as equals

09:05 The dynamics of patriarchal relationships

10:09 Parent Jenny reflects on her experience and shares what she wished she had known about parenting during the time she wasn't prioritizing her own need for sleep

12:29 Discussion on how patriarchal power structures can play out within the context of parenting and caregiving

13:48 Parent Jenny's decision to prioritize rest shows that her need for rest is legitimate and important

14:19 Our child expresses their unmet need by hitting

15:33 Parent Anne reflects on her visions about parenting and shares what she wished she had known about parenting

18:45 What is “Opportunity hoarding” among White parents

20:48 Parent Iris reflects on her parenting experience

22:33 The pressure that parents put on themselves that creates enormous pressure

23:50 Parent Iris realizes that buying things to solve parenting problems is not always the answer

25:14 The privilege that some parents have in terms of how they are perceived by society and the consequences they may face for certain choices

26:11 Parent Anne shares what she wished she had known about her interactions with her mom, her husband, and her child

29:53 Parent Anne shares her struggles with setting boundaries

31:14 Parent Anne's journey to becoming a better parent and healing from her own trauma

33:58 Parent Laura shares her son's potty problems and what she wished she had known about potty learning

37:13 Parent Laura highlights the importance of trusting your intuition and problem-solving skills as a parent

38:20 Respectful and gentle parenting as a tool to build a good relationship with our child

39:09 Parent Lucinda reflects on her experience and shares what she wished she had known about parenting

41:56 How understanding one's own needs is crucial for being able to have authentic relationships with family and community

43:24 Parent Melissa reflects on her experience and shares what she wished she had known about parenting

45:51 The benefits of being in an ACTion group in the Parenting Membership

47:14 Parent Benson reflects on his experience and shares what he wished he had known about parenting

48:51 Parent Amanda reflects on her experience and shares what she wished she had known about parenting

50:35 The importance of having a plan in parenting

52:03 Parent Elizabeth shares her realization that parenting is a continuous learning process

53:18 The importance of learning new skills to do things differently

55:34 Invitation to join the Parenting Membership