Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman

When Love Feels Like a Tug-of-War: Breaking the Cycle of Conflict


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Are you stuck in the same argument over and over again? It starts with something small—an offhand comment, a last-minute plan, or a simple misunderstanding. Before you know it, you’re in yet another argument, saying things you don’t mean, feeling unheard, and wondering, how did we get here again?

In this episode of The Language of Love Session, we check in with Brian and Stacey, a couple who love each other deeply but keep getting stuck in frustrating fights. Their latest? A basketball game invitation that—on the surface—seemed harmless. But for Stacey, it wasn’t just about the game. It was about priorities, commitment, and feeling like she mattered.

Here’s where things got messy: Brian had already skipped their usual weekly sporting activity together. So when he jumped at the chance to go out with a friend instead, Stacey felt like she was coming in second. A simple, innocent decision spiraled into yet another heated argument.

But here’s the real issue—it wasn’t about basketball. It was about unspoken fears, emotional triggers, and the stories we tell ourselves when we feel hurt.

In this episode, we’re breaking it all down:

  • Why small decisions can feel like big betrayal
  • How unspoken fears and insecurities sneak into your conversations and turn them into battles
  • The power of pausing before you react 
  • How to recognize when you’re stuck in the Drama Triangle—and what to do about it
  • The art of making your partner feel heard without silencing your own needs
  • If you’ve ever felt stuck in the same frustrating arguments, wondering why your partner just doesn’t get it, this episode will shift your perspective. Want to go deeper? Check out my Quantum Sex Course for relationship-transforming tools.

    Got a love dilemma of your own? Email me at [email protected], and don’t forget to share this episode with someone who needs it. Because love isn’t defined by the big moments—it’s built in the small ones.



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    Language of Love with Dr. Laura BermanBy The Language of Love

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