Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

In this Esther Calling, we meet a woman who feels that her brother's wife is standing in the way of her relationship with her brother. For years, she has compared the closeness she shares with her brother to all of her romantic relationships. And because of it she has found herself single, time and time again. Esther talks her through the question she came with about her brother, "If you really understood and loved me, why would you choose her?"

Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to [email protected].

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A woman in her 40s talks to Esther about a crossroads in her life. She has begun a relationship with a supportive and loving partner, but without the constant roller coaster of emotions she's used to, she wonders if there’s something missing. Or is there something wrong with her?

Esther Callings are a one-time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to [email protected].

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What happens when you transgress the one boundary you never thought you would? In this week's Esther Calling, Esther talks to a woman who began an emotional affair after 10 years with her partner. She has since found herself alone and devastated by her own actions, unable to forgive herself or move on from the pain that she caused.

Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to [email protected].

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This is a classic session, from the first season of Where Should We Begin? A couple, together a decade, with three young children. He reached out because a year after the discovery of his affair, they aren’t fighting anymore, but they certainly haven’t moved on. Esther’s not convinced they’ve ever really been able to hear each other. Can they recover from this? And do both of them really want to?

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They knew each other as kids. He grew up in a house where love was never a guarantee. She had the seemingly perfect family and all the love in the world. They've recently begun a romantic relationship as adults, but still can't seem to find their footing and separate themselves from their vastly different histories.

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In this Esther Calling, Esther talks to a woman looking for clarity on whether she's being overly sensitive to her partner's critiques or if he is, in fact, gaslighting her. She has struggled with boundary setting before and she wonders if she is repeating the pattern here.

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He donated sperm to help a friend start her family. A decade later that gift shattered his own. Esther talks through the consequences of a secret.

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Every Monday morning step into the office of psychotherapist Esther Perel. Each week on Where Should We Begin?, hear real couples in search of insight bare the intimate details of their lives. From break-ups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family listen in and start new conversations in your own relationships.

New episodes begin July 10th.

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In this session Esther counsels a couple torn apart by the war in Ukraine. Young sons divided between a mother who leaves for the sake of her youngest. And a father who stays with the oldest for the sake of their country. 

This episode was done in partnership with The International Trauma Studies Program and One Ukraine. 

(Ukrainian and English language transcripts available at http://www.estherperel.com/love-in-war-en)

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We first met them three seasons ago in the painful aftermath of an infidelity. She was diagnosed with an STD during a routine visit to her OBGYN, leading to the revelation that her husband had been visiting sex workers. Four years later, they’re still together, but old wounds persist.

Transcripts for this episode are available at https://www.estherperel.com/podcasts/wswb-s5-episode10.

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