There are going to be moments in fatherhood—when you’re dancing to Baby Shark to entertain your kid, or you’re way into the third book in the Twilight series for your daughter or you’re making the lamest dad joke of all time—where you might be tempted to step back and think: Oh God, what would the twenty year old version of me think of this? I told myself, I’d never be this guy, and here I am setting up a tent at a soccer game and putting sunscreen on my nose. If they saw me right now, would they mock me mercilessly? Would they kick my ass?

We all think that. We all have that 16-year-old or 25-year-old in our head with their strange, arbitrary and always critical standards for what selling out, or settling, or giving in looks like. Here’s the thing though—and hopefully your own kids give you some perspective on this—but you had absolutely no idea what you were talking about when you first thought those things. You were inexperienced. You were entitled. You were completely self-absorbed. And you were insecure and you were scared and you had not even an inkling of what real love and happiness was. 

So that you would be different now, at age _____ with _____ kids? That you would be doing things now you never thought you’d find yourself doing? That’s not selling out. That’s not settling. You’re not a loser. No, you just know something about life now. You know what really matters now. You know what is important to you. And you don’t care as much what people think anymore...starting with that naive teenager in your head.

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