You Are Not Crazy

Whose Shame Are You Carrying? How Abusers Offload Pain to Avoid Accountability


Listen Later

This episode explores one of the most insidious aspects of emotional abuse: shame offloading. 

When someone can’t face their own emotional wounds—whether it’s failure, inadequacy, or internal contradictions—they often project that pain onto the person closest to them. 

You become the emotional scapegoat, the one who’s blamed, punished, or humiliated—not because you did something wrong, but because they can’t sit with their own discomfort.

I walk through how this dynamic shows up in abusive relationships, how it fractures your sense of safety and self, and why the nervous system starts to adapt to the abuse as a form of survival. 

I explore how abusers develop internal scripts to justify their behavior, how survivors unconsciously internalize those scripts, and what it takes to start breaking that pattern.

Support the show

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse


{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

You Are Not CrazyBy Jessica Knight

  • 4.7
  • 4.7
  • 4.7
  • 4.7
  • 4.7

4.7

39 ratings


More shows like You Are Not Crazy

View all
It’s Not Normal It’s Toxic: Rid Your Life of Toxic People by Dr. Heidi

It’s Not Normal It’s Toxic: Rid Your Life of Toxic People

545 Listeners

Negotiate Your Best Life Podcast with Rebecca Zung by Rebecca Zung, Esq. | YAP Media

Negotiate Your Best Life Podcast with Rebecca Zung

327 Listeners

Narcissist Apocalypse: Patterns of Abuse by Abuse Survivor Network

Narcissist Apocalypse: Patterns of Abuse

755 Listeners

Love and Abuse by Paul Colaianni

Love and Abuse

840 Listeners

The Game EXPOSED: Narcissist & Narcissistic Abuse by Yaz

The Game EXPOSED: Narcissist & Narcissistic Abuse

436 Listeners

The Narcissists' Code by Lee Hammock

The Narcissists' Code

1,151 Listeners

Lisa A Romano Breakdown to Breakthroughs by Lisa A. Romano

Lisa A Romano Breakdown to Breakthroughs

770 Listeners

Soul-Led CEO: Purpose Powered Success by Amen Kaur

Soul-Led CEO: Purpose Powered Success

100 Listeners

Decoding Narcissism, Manipulation And Toxic Ideas, with Frederik Ribersson by Frederik Ribersson

Decoding Narcissism, Manipulation And Toxic Ideas, with Frederik Ribersson

143 Listeners

No Visible Bruises by Caroline Strawson

No Visible Bruises

525 Listeners

The Covert Narcissism Podcast by Renee Swanson, Bleav

The Covert Narcissism Podcast

56 Listeners

Waking Up to Narcissism by Tony Overbay LMFT

Waking Up to Narcissism

672 Listeners

Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse by Kerry McAvoy, Ph.D.

Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse

247 Listeners

Surviving Narcissism with Dr. Les Carter by Dr. Les Carter

Surviving Narcissism with Dr. Les Carter

525 Listeners

Navigating Narcissism with Dr. Ramani by iHeartPodcasts

Navigating Narcissism with Dr. Ramani

1,721 Listeners