I Wish You Knew

Why Avoidant Men Struggle to Love (and How to Fix It)


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Why does avoidant attachment make it so hard to feel close, even in loving relationships? For many men, emotional distance isn’t a lack of love—it’s a stress-driven response that blocks connection. This video unpacks the psychology and biology behind avoidant patterns and offers tools to create healthier intimacy.

Topics Covered

👉 Emotional shutdown and chronic unavailability in avoidant men
👉 The “cone of death” metaphor for limited tolerance of closeness under stress
👉 How stress blocks oxytocin receptors and hinders bonding
👉 Practical tools like breathing and nervous system regulation
👉 The difficulty avoidant men have with receiving praise or validation
👉 The importance of intentional connection and balanced effort in relationships
👉 Recognizing overservice and its role in creating emotional distance
👉 Shifting from constant stress mode into rest and relaxation for better connection

Want to go deeper? Join me for this free training and learn practical strategies to overcome avoidant attachment and build stronger relationships https://get.adamlanesmith.com/freeregistration

If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Modern Men Are Failing at Intimacy'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/rYdzdGReDqg

Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam 

Work with Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist:

1- https://adamlanesmith.com/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 

2- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/how-to-love-an-avoidant-man/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 
3- https://adamlanesmith.com/product/the-attachment-bootcamp/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 
4- https://adamlanesmith.com/work-with-me/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 
5- https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 

Want to learn your attachment style, and sign up for Adam's weekly newsletter? Click the link below to receive your copy and sign up now.

https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 

If you want to know your attachment style , take our free attachment quiz: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social 

Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro 
X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith 
Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam 
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ 
I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1

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I Wish You KnewBy Adam Lane Smith & Andrey Korikov

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