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Why Do I Feel Unlovable No Matter How Hard I Try?
In this episode, guest Emily Humpert returns to explore what it means to build emotional intimacy while carrying avoidant or disorganized attachment wounds.
Alongside host Adam Lane Smith, they unpack how emotional intimacy, vulnerability, and acceptance are the keys to real connection. If you've ever struggled to believe in love or feared that being truly seen would lead to rejection, this conversation offers insight, hope, and a practical path toward healing.
Topics Covered:
👉 The emotional cost of perfectionism and fear of not being enough
👉 How avoidant and quiet disorganized attachment styles affect relationships
👉 Why self-affirmation often fails for people with attachment wounds
👉 The difference between emotional safety and emotional intimacy
👉 How emotional intimacy helps rewire the brain and calm the nervous system
👉 Building trust through shared problem-solving and conflict resolution
👉 Understanding the role of vasopressin in long-term emotional bonding
👉 Recognizing freeze responses as survival strategies, not flaws
👉 What emotionally safe leadership looks like in romantic partnerships
👉 How to find people capable of emotional intimacy and deep connection
If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Why She Doesn’t Want You (Even If She Loves You) '. Watch here: https://youtu.be/aUMUEbwcVuo
Need more help with your attachment? Work with Adam: www.adamlanesmith.com
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Follow the “I Wish You Knew” Podcast:
--------------------------------------------------
Website: https://iwishyouknew.show/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theiwishyouknewpodcast/
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iwishyouknewshow
Snapchat: https://www.snapchat.com/iwishyouknewpod
Twitter /X: https://twitter.com/iwishyouknewpod
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ncc0MBgm04xTIQ5ByiCGI
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-wish-you-knew/id1713427809
-------------------------------------------------
Follow Adam Lane Smith:
--------------------------------------------------
Website: https://adamlanesmith.com/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/
Twitter /X: https://x.com/AdamLaneSmith
Threads: https://www.threads.net/@attachmentadam
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro
The next episode drops Thursday :)
See you there.
Visit: https://iwishyouknew.show/ to learn more about the podcast
View all episodes
By Adam Lane Smith & Andrey Korikov
4.6
4242 ratings
In this episode, guest Emily Humpert returns to explore what it means to build emotional intimacy while carrying avoidant or disorganized attachment wounds.
Alongside host Adam Lane Smith, they unpack how emotional intimacy, vulnerability, and acceptance are the keys to real connection. If you've ever struggled to believe in love or feared that being truly seen would lead to rejection, this conversation offers insight, hope, and a practical path toward healing.
Topics Covered:
👉 The emotional cost of perfectionism and fear of not being enough
👉 How avoidant and quiet disorganized attachment styles affect relationships
👉 Why self-affirmation often fails for people with attachment wounds
👉 The difference between emotional safety and emotional intimacy
👉 How emotional intimacy helps rewire the brain and calm the nervous system
👉 Building trust through shared problem-solving and conflict resolution
👉 Understanding the role of vasopressin in long-term emotional bonding
👉 Recognizing freeze responses as survival strategies, not flaws
👉 What emotionally safe leadership looks like in romantic partnerships
👉 How to find people capable of emotional intimacy and deep connection
If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'Why She Doesn’t Want You (Even If She Loves You) '. Watch here: https://youtu.be/aUMUEbwcVuo
Need more help with your attachment? Work with Adam: www.adamlanesmith.com
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Follow the “I Wish You Knew” Podcast:
--------------------------------------------------
Website: https://iwishyouknew.show/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theiwishyouknewpodcast/
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iwishyouknewshow
Snapchat: https://www.snapchat.com/iwishyouknewpod
Twitter /X: https://twitter.com/iwishyouknewpod
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ncc0MBgm04xTIQ5ByiCGI
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-wish-you-knew/id1713427809
-------------------------------------------------
Follow Adam Lane Smith:
--------------------------------------------------
Website: https://adamlanesmith.com/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/
Twitter /X: https://x.com/AdamLaneSmith
Threads: https://www.threads.net/@attachmentadam
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro
The next episode drops Thursday :)
See you there.
Visit: https://iwishyouknew.show/ to learn more about the podcast
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