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Why High-Value People Don’t Avoid Conflict | Social Intel Brief
Do you avoid conflict—or use it to grow your influence? In this episode, AJ and Johnny share a science-backed framework for conflict resolution that transforms tense moments into opportunities for trust and leadership. Drawing on John Gottman’s research on relationships and Google’s Project Aristotle findings on high-performing teams, they reveal why conflict isn’t a problem to eliminate—it’s a chance to deepen respect and build long-term influence.
You’ll learn a step-by-step system to handle everyday workplace and relationship conflicts without burning bridges: lead with value, accept responsibility, show empathy, and present solutions that create buy-in. With stories from clients like Marcus, a consultant at BCG, AJ and Johnny show how mastering conflict resolution can make you the person others turn to when stakes are high. If you’ve ever felt conflict-averse, this episode gives you practical tools to stay calm, confident, and in control.
What to Listen For
[00:00:00] Why avoiding conflict costs you influence
[00:00:56] How conflict avoidance limits your “career chessboard” moves
[00:01:27] The science of conflict: shifting from “me vs. you” to “us vs. the problem”
[00:02:43] The High-Value Conflict Framework explained
[00:03:28] Step 1: Lead with value to disarm defensiveness
[00:03:54] Step 2: Accept responsibility without weakness
[00:06:23] Step 3: Use empathy and “we” language to build trust
[00:07:26] Step 4: Present options, not ultimatums
[00:09:18] Why well-resolved conflicts create stronger bonds
[00:11:03] Client story: how Marcus became the go-to conflict solver
[00:11:29] Why mastering conflict is the ticket to influence
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Curious about your influence level?
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Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence.
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on LinkedIn
Johnny on LinkedIn
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
The Art of Charm on TikTok
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
View all episodes
By The Art of Charm
4.7
1046510,465 ratings
Do you avoid conflict—or use it to grow your influence? In this episode, AJ and Johnny share a science-backed framework for conflict resolution that transforms tense moments into opportunities for trust and leadership. Drawing on John Gottman’s research on relationships and Google’s Project Aristotle findings on high-performing teams, they reveal why conflict isn’t a problem to eliminate—it’s a chance to deepen respect and build long-term influence.
You’ll learn a step-by-step system to handle everyday workplace and relationship conflicts without burning bridges: lead with value, accept responsibility, show empathy, and present solutions that create buy-in. With stories from clients like Marcus, a consultant at BCG, AJ and Johnny show how mastering conflict resolution can make you the person others turn to when stakes are high. If you’ve ever felt conflict-averse, this episode gives you practical tools to stay calm, confident, and in control.
What to Listen For
[00:00:00] Why avoiding conflict costs you influence
[00:00:56] How conflict avoidance limits your “career chessboard” moves
[00:01:27] The science of conflict: shifting from “me vs. you” to “us vs. the problem”
[00:02:43] The High-Value Conflict Framework explained
[00:03:28] Step 1: Lead with value to disarm defensiveness
[00:03:54] Step 2: Accept responsibility without weakness
[00:06:23] Step 3: Use empathy and “we” language to build trust
[00:07:26] Step 4: Present options, not ultimatums
[00:09:18] Why well-resolved conflicts create stronger bonds
[00:11:03] Client story: how Marcus became the go-to conflict solver
[00:11:29] Why mastering conflict is the ticket to influence
A Word From Our Sponsors
Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com
The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back.
Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns.
Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off.
Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm.
Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm.
This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm
Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started
Curious about your influence level?
Get your Influence Index Score today!
Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence.
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on LinkedIn
Johnny on LinkedIn
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
The Art of Charm on TikTok
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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