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In this episode of The Emotional Longevity Podcast, Dr. Elisha Goldstein sits down with world-renowned couples therapist and author Dr. Stan Tatkin, creator of the PACT model and author of Wired for Love and In Each Other’s Care.

Stan reveals how our nervous systems are built for co-regulation, not independence, and why traditional ideas of “self-care” in relationships often fail. Instead, couples need a shared purpose, secure agreements, and a willingness to prioritize the relationship—especially under stress.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in recurring arguments, emotional distance, or frustration around connection—this conversation is a game-changer.

In this episode, we cover:

Why love isn’t enough for long-term connection

The neurobiology of attachment and co-regulation

What makes relationships spiral into self-protection

Why “secure functioning” couples thrive—and how to become one

The exact moment we lose empathy (and how to get it back)

How to prepare for conflict before it happens

The one agreement every couple needs

Why individual healing alone won’t save your relationship

If your relationship matters to you—listen to this twice.

Take notes. Reflect. And start shifting from “me vs. you” to us vs. the problem.

Connect with Stan Tatkin:

• Website & Trainings
• Books:
• Wired for Love (2nd Edition)
• In Each Other’s Care

Connect with Elisha:

• Facebook
• Twitter
• Instagram

Subscribe to Emotional Longevity:

• Apple Podcasts
• Spotify
• YouTube

Produced by Peoples Media

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