May 01, 2026

Why Nice Guys Finish Last | Marni Kinrys and Adam Lane Smith

1 hour 5 minutes

Most men today are doing everything they have been told to do to attract a woman. They are being kind, accommodating, agreeable, and endlessly pleasing. And it is working against them every single time.

Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist, sits down with Marni Kinrys, dating coach and wing girl to men for over 22 years, for one of the most honest and practical conversations about what women actually feel on a date, why nice guys keep finishing last, and what the science says about why the very thing men think is working is exactly what is destroying their chances.

What you will learn in this conversation:

1- Why a woman's attraction can completely reverse within minutes of a first impression and what actually changes it

2- The four S's that create attraction in women and why most men are accidentally hitting zero of them

3- Why a nervous man does not just fail to attract a woman but actively makes her feel unsafe and what her nervous system does as a result

4- Why a woman who soothes a nervous man on a first date has already decided she will never sleep with him

5- Why nice guys are training women to see them as employees instead of leaders and what that costs them in every relationship

6- Why avoidant men are not just born that way and how anxious men are actually creating avoidant women without knowing it

7- What vasopressin bonding is why men can only get it from other men and what happens when they never do

8- Why the CEO and COO model of marriage is the only dynamic that actually makes both people happy

9- What Marni's husband finally understood after she sent him ten Instagram posts that changed everything between them

If you are a man who has been working hard to make women happy and wondering why it never seems to work, or a woman who wants to finally understand why the men she loves keep getting it wrong, this conversation will give you both the answer and the path forward.

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By Adam Lane Smith & Andrey Korikov

4.7

4646 ratings