You Make Sense

Why We Feel the Need to Control and How to Actually Let Go


Listen Later

Sarah explains how experiences of chaos, misattunement, and trauma leave the nervous system feeling unsafe, and how control becomes a brilliant survival strategy. She delves into the more subtle versions of control that go unnoticed because they look “responsible” on the surface, and what is actually needed to begin relaxing your grip.

She also explores how regulating the nervous system and connecting with our adult self changes our relationship to our homes, bodies, partners, work, and timelines, and why true surrender is never about “just let go,” but about having somewhere safe inside to land. Join Sarah for tangible tools to experience your life with more freedom and ease.

 

Episode Highlights:

  • [01:49] Everyday examples of control that often go unnoticed
  • [04:13] Why lacking internal safety puts the nervous system into “autopilot”
  • [06:19] Sarah’s personal story of over-achievement and OCD as forms of control
  • [09:30] The link between controlling our environment and trying to manage internal chaos
  • [12:00] Discover the obvious and subtle ways people try to self-control
  • [14:15] How controlling behaviors show up in relationships
  • [17:50] The ways in which we try to control our purpose
  • [20:01] Tools to help you let go and actually surrender
  • [28:00] Question 1 - Overcoming chaos as a new parent
  • [34:15] Question 2 - Rescuing others as a means of avoidance
  • [37:15] Question 3 - Health anxiety and the nervous system

 

Join the Waitlist for Navigating Your Nervous System:

Living a full, expansive life starts with nervous system regulation. If you’re looking for practical tools and support on your healing journey, you can now get on the waitlist for my upcoming 6-week LIVE program.

Everyone on the waitlist receives access to limited-time pricing:

https://bit.ly/sp-nyns-waitlist

 

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram — instagram.com/sarahbcoaching

Website — sarahbaldwincoaching.com

 

Take the FREE Quiz:

https://bit.ly/yms-sp-quiz

 

Submit a Question:

sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

 

Quotes:

“The level of protection that [the nervous system] will do, in terms of controlling, will be dependent on the level of out of control we experience inside.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:06:33]

“I cannot let go if I don’t have safety inside, so what we have to do is to create internal safety. We do this through regulation of our nervous system.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:20:39]

“Your external world is a representation of your internal world.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:21:24]

“We have to show, not tell, our nervous system and our protective parts that it is safe to let go. It is safe to surrender.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:22:37]

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

You Make SenseBy Sarah Baldwin

  • 5
  • 5
  • 5
  • 5
  • 5

5

206 ratings


More shows like You Make Sense

View all
Therapy Chat by Laura Reagan, LCSW-C

Therapy Chat

675 Listeners

Life Coaching with Christine Hassler by Christine Hassler

Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

1,628 Listeners

The Terri Cole Show by Terri Cole

The Terri Cole Show

1,392 Listeners

ManTalks Podcast by Connor Beaton

ManTalks Podcast

561 Listeners

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson by Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Forrest Hanson

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

2,512 Listeners

The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair by Michelle Chalfant

The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair

1,547 Listeners

The Mark Groves Podcast by Mark Groves

The Mark Groves Podcast

4,725 Listeners

The Healing Trauma Podcast by Monique Koven

The Healing Trauma Podcast

446 Listeners

LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS by Jessica Da Silva, LMFT

LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS

283 Listeners

Reimagining Love with Dr. Alexandra Solomon by Dr. Alexandra Solomon

Reimagining Love with Dr. Alexandra Solomon

295 Listeners

On Attachment by Stephanie Rigg

On Attachment

1,049 Listeners

Jillian on Love by Jillian Turecki | QCODE

Jillian on Love

1,407 Listeners

The Mel Robbins Podcast by Mel Robbins

The Mel Robbins Podcast

19,885 Listeners

The Biology of Trauma® With Dr. Aimie by Dr. Aimie Apigian

The Biology of Trauma® With Dr. Aimie

230 Listeners

The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno by Julie Menanno

The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno

354 Listeners