Mary's Cup of Tea: the Self Love Podcast for Women

Why Women Need To Stop Trying to Be “Good” with Joy Sullivan


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As women, we’re often praised for being “good” — benevolent, proper, generous, and agreeable. But that version of goodness often comes at the expense of your mental health. And it requires a type of self-abandonment which leaves little room for complexity, creativity, or truth.

Poet and writer Joy Sullivan joins Mary to explore why being “good” can be antithetical to being fully human. Together, they unpack purity culture (both religious and progressive), moral performance, and the shame that follows many women. They also explore Joy’s viral essay Tiny Evils and why allowing ourselves small, imperfect, human transgressions can actually reconnect us to creativity.

You will learn how to…

  • Question moral perfection without abandoning integrity
  • Understand why goodness is often performative
  • Reclaim creativity as survival, not productivity
  • Write and create with confidence and without censoring your vulnerability

Remember: You don’t have to be flawless to be worthy. Your self worth is inherent. If you can love yourself as you are, your creativity will skyrocket.

Joy Sullivan is a poet, teacher, and author of the national bestseller, *Instructions for Traveling West.* She received a Masters in poetry from Miami University and has served as the poet-in-residence for the Wexner Center for the Arts. Her work has appeared in places like Goop, Oprah Daily, and The Sunday Paper.

In addition to leading international writing retreats, Joy has guest-lectured in classrooms from Stanford University to Florida International University and is the founder of Sustenance, a community designed to help writers revitalize and nourish their craft. Read her thoughts on the creative life in her Substack newsletter, Necessary Salt

Follow Joy on Instagram: **@**joysullivan

Get Joy’s poetry book *Instructions for Traveling West.*

Learn more about Joy’s writing community, Sustenance, here.

And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @joysullivan so other women can find this self-love podcast.

Mentioned in This Episode…

  • Tiny Evils by Joy Sullivan
  • Glamour UK feature
  • Miranda July
  • Ellen Bass
  • Ada Limón

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Mary's Cup of Tea: the Self Love Podcast for WomenBy Mary Jelkovsky

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