Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman

Why You Keep Attracting Emotionally Unavailable Partners


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Have you ever wondered why you keep ending up in the same kind of painful relationship almost like you’re tuned to a certain frequency that keeps pulling you toward emotionally unavailable partners?

In this episode of Language of Love Session, I answer a heartfelt question from Sarah, a listener who wrote in asking: “Why do I keep attracting emotionally unavailable people, and how can I heal whatever inside me is drawing me to these relationships?” 

We explore how the energy you carry, your vibration, and your earliest experiences all play a role in who you’re drawn to and why. I also share how healing practices like somatic experiencing and Internal Family Systems therapy can help shift your frequency so you attract partners who are truly capable of love and connection.

We explore:

  • Why emotionally unavailable partners feel so familiar (and why it’s not just “bad luck”)

  • How childhood patterns set the vibration for the partners we’re drawn to later in life

  • Ways somatic therapy helps release unconscious patterns stored in the body

  • How Internal Family Systems therapy rewires your inner world for healthier love

  • Why “butterflies” aren’t always passion, they may be your nervous system picking up on an old, unhealthy frequency

    This is all about learning how to change your vibration so you stop repeating painful cycles and open yourself up to safe, supportive love.

    For resources on somatic experiencing,  visit the Hakomi Institute or traumatherapy.org  for more on this powerful mindfulness-centered approach to healing.

    Have a question you’d like me to answer on the show? Email me at [email protected], leave a voice message or question at SpeakPipe.com/LanguageofLove  or connect with me on social media @DrLauraBerman.

    For more support, visit my website for expert resources and don’t forget to check out my newest book, Sex Magic.

    And if you’re navigating betrayal or struggling to rebuild trust, share your story with me at [email protected] for a chance to be featured in a future episode. Your journey could be exactly what someone else needs to hear.

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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