Flying Free

Why You Keep Second-Guessing Yourself in Your Christian Marriage (And How to Stop) Emotional Abuse 101 | Part 4 [359]


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What happens when you're the only one trying in your marriage? When your partner seems indifferent, and you're the one praying, planning, reading, learning, bending, sacrificing only to be met with silence or worse, resistance?

In this episode, Natalie peels back the layers of emotional and spiritual exhaustion that come from being the only emotionally invested person in a relationship. With grace, clarity, and a no-nonsense look at reality, she answers a powerful listener question: “If I’m the only one caring, what’s the point of staying?”

🔑 Key Takeaways:

  • One-sided effort isn’t love. If only one person is carrying the weight of emotional and relational labor, it’s not a partnership, it's a survival pattern.
  • Control often disguises itself as passivity. Abusers don’t need to yell or hit to maintain power; many use silence, neglect, and apathy to keep you chasing connection.
  • Spiritual bypassing keeps women trapped. Many Christian women are taught that leaving a cold or neglectful husband is rebellion against God. But that’s not what the Bible says, and it’s not what Jesus models.
  • You can stop asking for crumbs. It’s okay to stop showing up for someone who consistently chooses not to show up for you.
  • God isn’t asking you to abandon yourself. He's not honored by marriages that demand your silence, your sanity, or your soul. He's inviting you to freedom, not bondage.

🎙️ Check out the rest of the Emotional Abuse 101 series: http://bit.ly/49VU1qr

Get a free chapter of Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman’s Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse by going to isitmebook.com

Episode quotes:


“If you’re the only one working on the relationship, you’re not in a relationship. You’re in a slow death sentence, and it’s okay to want to live.”

“Control isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s a stone wall you beat your heart against, hoping it’ll soften.”

“You don’t need your partner to validate your pain for it to be real. It already is.”

“God doesn’t ask you to sacrifice your soul to prove your commitment.


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Flying FreeBy Natalie Hoffman

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