Wired & Worthy

You know the goal. You've had the idea circling in your head for a while now. What's actually missing isn't more willpower or another productivity system. It's the people who see you clearly and carry the belief when yours runs out.In this episode, Dr. Amelia Kelley welcomes back two of her closest friends and past guests: Tara Lafon Gooch, TEDx speaker and CEO of Best Branding Solutions, and Dr. Amna Shabir, physician and wellbeing expert whose TEDx talk on socially prescribed perfectionism has resonated with high-achieving women everywhere. Together, the three unpack how real female friendship, the kind that says "I see you, girl" without needing an explanation, can defuse rejection sensitivity, quiet the perfectionism spiral, and actually get you to the finish line of the goals you've been circling for years.If you've ever gotten yourself to the starting line of something big and then frozen, this one's for you.In this episode you'll learn:- Why "borrowing belief" from a trusted circle is often the missing ingredient for ADHD and neurodivergent women chasing big goals- How rejection sensitivity (RSD) shows up as a nervous system response, not a mindset failure, and what actually helps you move through it- The difference between internal and external locus of control, and how to build it on purpose even if it wasn't your default- Why socially prescribed perfectionism is rising fastest in young adults, and how it quietly robs joy from every micro-moment- Dr. Amna's four ways to get objectivity when you're too close to your own problem to see it clearly- Tara's "ridiculously small steps" method for anything that feels too big to start- Why every "no" you collect is proof you're closer to a yes, not further from itConnect with Tara Lafon Gooch:🌐 https://taralafongooch.com/🎧 Grasp Confidence Podcast - https://open.spotify.com/show/3CpfzhPSQxCUiuC1fvYaqW?si=c47d73bef4b2490d📸 https://www.instagram.com/taralafongooch/Connect with Dr. Amna Shabir:🌐 https://dramnashabbir.com/ 🎧 Success Reimagined Podcast - https://open.spotify.com/show/0m8I4sx8DFI7tz73aO4yTU📸 https://www.instagram.com/dr.amnashabbir/Connect with Dr. Amelia Kelley:🌍 Website: https://www.ameliakelley.com📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drameliakelley/👩🏼‍💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drameliakelley/

You said you forgave them. So why does your body still flinch?

Forgiveness isn't a decision. It's a somatic process, and if you've been trying to think your way through it, your nervous system has been quietly keeping score.

In this episode, Dr. Amelia Kelley sits down with Dr. Deborah Sandella, PhD, award-winning psychotherapist and creator of the Regenerating Images in Memory (RIM®) Method, to unpack why traditional forgiveness advice fails highly sensitive people and neurodivergent women, and what actually moves the pain out of the body.

In this episode:

• Why forgiveness is somatic, not a mental decision
• The over-empathizer trap that keeps sensitive women stuck
• What "waiting for the other shoe to drop" says about self-trust
• The difference between anger and disgust in relationships
• A real-time self-compassion exercise to try along with Dr. Amelia
• How the RIM® Method shifts what years of talk therapy sometimes can't
• Dr. Deb's morning nervous system practice for low-serotonin hours

About Dr. Deborah Sandella

Author of the international bestseller Goodbye Hurt & Pain, award-winning psychotherapist, university professor, and originator of the evidence-backed RIM® Method. Featured in USA TODAY, CBS, and NBC.

Connect with Dr. DebLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drdebsandella/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThinkPositivewithDebSandella/
Published Research: https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2025.1539079/full

Learn about the RIM® Method
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrDebRIMinstituteLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/riminstitute/
Connect with Dr. Amelia Kelley:🌍 Website: https://www.ameliakelley.com📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drameliakelley/👩🏼‍💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drameliakelley/

You've named every wound you can remember. You've done the childhood work. And still, the same pattern, the same panic, the same quiet fear of being too much keeps coming back like it doesn't belong to you.

This week on Wired & Worthy, inherited trauma pioneer Mark Wolynn sits down with Dr. Amelia Kelley to explain why it might not have started with you.

Mark is the author of the international bestseller It Didn't Start With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle, translated into 40 languages with over 3 million copies sold. In this conversation, he unpacks how the traumas of our parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents live in our unexplained depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and relationship patterns, and how epigenetics, attachment, and what he calls "the turbulent womb" shape us long before we have memory.

If your struggle has ever felt too big for your story, this episode gives you a name for it and a starting place for what to do next.

Key takeaways:

•  Why "just how I am" is often inherited family trauma, not personality

•  What Mark calls the turbulent womb and how prenatal stress wires the nervous system before memory

• The one sentence that repairs a child's nervous system in real time

• Why highly sensitive people carry what their family shut down, and how to give it back

• Why forgiveness is not the point, and what the real inner work is instead

  
  

About the guest:

Mark Wolynn is a leading expert in the field of inherited family trauma. He’s the director of The Family Constellation Institute in the US and is renowned for his work that bridges epigenetics, neuroscience, and somatic healing, and shows how the traumas of our parents, grandparents, and even great grandparents, can live in our bodies as unexplained depression, anxiety, obsessive thoughts, and chronic health conditions. His book It Didn't Start with You is an international bestseller, which has sold more than three million copies worldwide. It won the Silver Nautilus Book Award for Psychology and has been translated into 42 languages. Mark has just released the 2025 revised edition of It Didn't Start with You and The Official It Didn’t Start with You Workbook.

Connect with Mark Wolynn:

• Website

• Instagram (@markwolynn)

Connect with Dr. Amelia Kelley:🌍 Website: https://www.ameliakelley.com📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drameliakelley/👩🏼‍💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drameliakelley/

You did everything right. Why don't you feel different?

You've done the reading. You've journaled. You've reframed the thought. You know exactly where the pattern started and why it kicked in. And your body still isn't listening.

That plateau, the one no one warns you about, is where trauma therapist Debbie Missud starts this episode. Because for complex PTSD, especially in women, the wound isn't always what happened. Sometimes it's what didn't. The connection that was missing. The attunement that never came. The consistency that never held. Your body registered every absence, and it's been carrying the response ever since.

If you've ever thought, "nothing that bad happened to me, so why do I feel this way," this conversation is going to name something in you that hasn't been named yet.

Key takeaways:

• What complex PTSD actually is, and how it's different from the type of PTSD the DSM defines

• Why women are twice as likely to develop complex trauma, and why so much of the clinical literature misses this

• The healing plateau in trauma recovery, why doing the "right" cognitive work stops producing change, and what to do next

• The difference between freeze and shutdown, and how to recognize which state you're actually in

• Practical nervous system tools to come out of a shutdown response, including movement, sensory input, and what not to reach for

• Why fawning is a survival response, not a personality trait, and how to tell if the person across from you is actually safe

• How to know if you're processing or just looping, and the simple question that tells you which one it is

• Parts mapping and self-forgiveness, the two tools Debbie names as most important for long-term complex trauma healing

• Why forgiving the people who hurt you is not required to heal from complex trauma

  
  

About the guest:

Debbie Missud is a licensed mental health counselor and the founder of the Manhattan Psychotherapy Collective, a group practice in New York City specializing in trauma-informed care for women. She's also a mental health content creator, consultant, and the author of Self-Directed Complex PTSD Exercises for Women. 

Connect with Debbie:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therapydebbie/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@therapydebbie

Grab her book: https://a.co/d/09yDvxfn

You've been told your messy counter means you're lazy. Your brain says otherwise.

If a viral reel has ever made you feel behind for not spending "just 20 extra seconds" tidying up, this one is for you. Dr. Amelia Kelley breaks down house mapping, an ADHD-friendly approach to home organization that stops forcing your life to fit your home and starts designing your home around how your brain actually moves.

Born from a reel that lit up with hundreds of listener questions, this episode tackles shoes, mail piles, kitchen counters, laundry hampers, and the family nervous system, with the clinical grounding of a trauma therapist who lives it too.

In this episode, you'll learn:

- What house mapping is and why it works for ADHD brains

- How your environment silently cues your behavior

- Why the viral "just take 20 more seconds" advice is a neuronormative trap

- How landing zones reduce executive function load

- How to talk to family members who aren't on board

- The one-bag-a-day method for overwhelmed spaces

Connect with Dr. Amelia Kelley:

🌍 Website: https://www.ameliakelley.com

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drameliakelley/

👩🏼‍💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drameliakelley/

What if you’re not avoiding the doctor because you don’t care, but because fear, trauma, or overwhelm makes the appointment feel impossible?

In this episode of Wired and Worthy, Dr. Amelia Kelley and Dr. Amna Shabir explore medical anxiety, healthcare avoidance, and why neurodivergent and highly sensitive people may struggle to seek care. They discuss the difference between fearing a diagnosis and fearing the procedure itself, the impact of cognitive overload, and how trauma-informed care can help patients feel safer.

They also share practical ways to reduce anxiety, advocate for yourself, rebuild trust with healthcare providers, and treat preventive care as an important form of self-care.

Key Takeaways:

• Medical anxiety may come from fear of the diagnosis, the procedure, past trauma, or an overwhelming healthcare system.
• ADHD and cognitive overload can make scheduling and attending appointments much harder.
• Understanding each step of a procedure can reduce fear and avoidance.
• Trauma-informed care should prioritise trust, communication, choice, and autonomy.
• Believing your symptoms and seeking help are acts of self-care—not weakness.

About the guest:

Dr. Amna Shabbir, MD, is a dual board-certified physician, TEDx speaker, and certified health and wellness coach. With advanced training in integrative well-being, performance, and leadership development, she helps high achievers navigate perfectionism, workplace stress, and burnout. Through speaking, coaching, and consulting, she supports individuals and organisations in creating healthier, more sustainable approaches to success.

Connect with Dr. Amna Shabbir

Website: https://dramnashabbir.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.amnashabbir/

Listen to her podcast: https://dramnashabbir.com/podcasts/success-reimagined-with-amna-shabbir-md-exploring-the-crossroads-of-ambition-and-wellness/

Take her quiz: https://www.dramnashabbir.com/quiz 

Connect with Dr. Amelia Kelley:

🌍 Website: https://www.ameliakelley.com

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drameliakelley/

👩🏼‍💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drameliakelley/

What if the parts of you that seemed inconsistent, overly intense, distracted, or difficult were actually clues to how your brain works?

In this episode of Wired & Worthy, Dr. Amelia Kelley speaks with Julie Skolnick, author of Gifted and Distractible, about twice exceptionality, also known as 2E. Julie explains why giftedness is about far more than intelligence and how it can coexist with ADHD, dyslexia, anxiety, sensory sensitivities, executive functioning challenges, and other learning differences.

Together, they explore why highly capable children and adults are so often misunderstood, how shame develops when strengths hide real struggles, and what it takes to finally feel seen, supported, and safe enough to unmask.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• Why giftedness is about more than being smart.

• How ADHD and giftedness can look very similar.

• Why highly capable people can still struggle with everyday tasks.

• How sensory needs, perfectionism, and anxiety can affect learning.

• Why some gifted children and adults are overlooked or misunderstood.

• How reframing behavior can reduce shame and build confidence.

• Why understanding how your brain works can make self-advocacy easier.

  
  

About the guest:

Julie Skolnick is the author of Gifted and Distractible and the founder of With Understanding Comes Calm. Her work focuses on supporting gifted and twice-exceptional children, adults, parents, educators, and clinicians.

Through consultations, training, courses, and her Haystack community for 2E adults, Julie helps people better understand the overlap between giftedness, ADHD, learning differences, sensory needs, perfectionism, anxiety, and emotional intensity. Her approach centers on practical strategies, positive reframing, advocacy, and helping people understand how their brains work so they can feel supported rather than broken.

Connect with Julie Skolnick

Website: https://www.withunderstandingcomescalm.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/julieskolnick/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/julie-rosenbaum-skolnick-5b582351/ 

Connect with Dr. Amelia Kelley:

🌍 Website: https://www.ameliakelley.com

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drameliakelley/

👩🏼‍💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drameliakelley/

Have you ever had one vague email, one “we need to talk,” or one small disagreement send your whole nervous system into overdrive? If you have ADHD, are highly sensitive, or feel emotions intensely, this episode will help you understand why your feelings can feel so urgent and convincing.

Dr. Amelia Kelley talks with Dr. Tamara Rosier, author of Your Brain’s Not Broken and founder of the ADHD Center of West Michigan, about ADHD emotions, relationships, shame, trauma, self-trust, and emotional regulation. Through humor, real-life examples, and powerful metaphors, Tamara explains why emotions are “informants,” but not always reliable ones.

You will walk away with a clearer way to understand your ADHD brain, separate emotion from truth, and see your sensitivity as part of your strength, not proof that you are broken.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• Why ADHD emotions can jump from zero to ten so quickly.

• How working memory differences can create conflict in ADHD relationships.

• Why some arguments are not worth the nervous system crash.

• How humor and repair can help couples reconnect.

• Why ADHD shame can feel embarrassing, but does not define you.

• How to question intense emotions without dismissing yourself.

• Why ADHD and trauma are connected, but not the same thing.

About the guest:

Dr. Tamara Rosier is a leading voice in the ADHD and neurodiversity space, known for making complex brain science feel human, relatable, and deeply practical. With her signature mix of warmth, humor, and honesty, she helps people understand ADHD not as a character flaw, but as a different way of moving through the world.

As the founder of the ADHD Center of West Michigan, Dr. Rosier has dedicated her work to helping individuals, families, couples, and organizations better understand the strengths and challenges of ADHD. Her background as a college administrator, professor, leadership consultant, high school teacher, business owner, and ADHD coach gives her a rich, real-world understanding of how ADHD shows up in everyday life, from relationships and emotional regulation to work, shame, and self-trust.

Connect with Dr. Tamara Rosier

Website: https://www.tamararosier.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.tamararosier

Connect with Dr. Amelia Kelley:

🌍 Website: https://www.ameliakelley.com

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drameliakelley/

👩🏼‍💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drameliakelley/

If you've ever been told you're too sensitive, too anxious, or too in your head, what if the truth is the opposite? What if the deep feeling you've spent years trying to manage is actually proof of how much you notice, how much you care, and how much you're capable of?

This week, Dr. Amelia Kelley sits down with clinical psychologist Dr. Michael Alcée, author of The Upside of OCD: Flip the Script to Reclaim Your Life, for a conversation that completely reframes what OCD actually is. Together they trace the overlap between OCD, high sensitivity, autism, and ADHD, and challenge one of the most widely accepted treatments in the field.

By the end of this episode, you'll understand why the people who struggle most with intrusive thoughts may also be the most empathic, perceptive, and emotionally attuned people in the room, and you'll have new language for a part of yourself that's never quite fit the clinical definitions.

In this episode you'll learn:

• How OCD, autism, ADHD, and high sensitivity overlap and where they genuinely differ

• Why Dr. Alcée believes standard OCD treatment can unintentionally teach sensitive people to suppress their gifts

• The difference between reassurance and what Dr. Alcée calls assurance, and why it matters

• How childhood environment shapes whether sensitivity turns into obsessive thinking

• Why people with OCD are often misdiagnosed, or mistaken for something else entirely

• A new way to think about exposure therapy that honors emotional depth instead of overriding it

About the guest:

Dr. Michael Alcée grew up watching therapy and thriving go hand in hand. His mother, a social worker, ran her practice out of an office on the side of their house, and he'd often pass her clients on his way out the door, looking noticeably lighter than when they'd arrived. That early curiosity about the magic happening inside eventually became his career, alongside a lifelong love of music, with his piano practice famously drifting into his mother's sessions and becoming something her clients looked forward to.

Michael holds a bachelor's degree from Williams College and a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from Fordham University, with over a decade in college counseling at Fordham, Vassar, Manhattanville, and Ramapo before moving into private practice. He now also serves as Mental Health Educator at Manhattan School of Music, is a TEDx speaker, and is the author of Therapeutic Improvisation and his newest book, The Upside of OCD: Flip the Script to Reclaim Your Life. Outside of sessions, he's usually playing classical or jazz piano, writing, or spending serious fun time with his family.

Connect with Dr. Michael:

• Website: https://michaelalcee.com/

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mike_drop_/

• Grab his book here: https://a.co/d/090zfE0v

Connect with Dr. Amelia Kelley:

🌍 Website: https://www.ameliakelley.com

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drameliakelley/

👩🏼‍💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drameliakelley/

You've spent your life being told you're too forgetful, too emotional, too much. Then you hit your forties, the symptoms pile up, and somewhere along the way you became someone who quietly believes something is wrong with her.

In this episode, Dr. Amelia Kelley sits down with therapist and menopause expert Mandi Dixon to talk about what happens when ADHD and perimenopause collide in midlife. They get into the estrogen and dopamine link that can make your ADHD meds feel like they stop working before your period, the misdiagnosis pipeline that hands women the wrong labels for decades, and why unmasking might be the most healing thing you do in your forties and beyond.

If you've ever wondered why everyone else seemed to get an instruction manual you never received, or why midlife feels familiar in a way you can't explain, this episode is for you.

In this episode you'll learn:

• Why ADHD and perimenopause are so often missed in women, and who gets left behind

• The estrogen and dopamine connection, and why your ADHD meds can feel weaker right before your period

• The most common ADHD misdiagnoses for women, from anxiety and depression to bipolar disorder

• How to tell ADHD burnout apart from the menopause transition, and why the symptoms feel familiar to women with ADHD and brand new to everyone else

• What masking quietly costs you, and the permission so many women have never been given to simply be themselves

About the guest:Mandi Dixon is a licensed therapist and ADHD coach who works with clients across Texas from her practice in the North Dallas area. A member of the Menopause Society, she focuses on the place where ADHD and the menopause transition meet in women, a gap she found under researched and rarely discussed. She blends clinical training with lived experience to help women release the shame they have carried for years and understand what is actually happening in their bodies and brains. She is currently working on her first book about what she calls "ugly perimenopause," the harder, less talked about side of the experience.

Connect with Mandi:

• Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/adhdmenopausetherapist/⁠

• TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@Adhdmenopausetherapist⁠

Connect with Dr. Amelia Kelley:

🌍 Website: https://www.ameliakelley.com

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drameliakelley/

👩🏼‍💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drameliakelley/