With and For hosted by Dr. Pam King

By Dr. Pam KingReligion & Spirituality Education Self-Improvement

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With and For hosted by Dr. Pam King episodes

November 18, 2024Individual, Relational, Aspirational: The Three Pillars of Thriving with Dr. Pam King and Nada Jones
Dr. Pam King joins longtime friend, entrepreneur, and inspiring podcast host Nada Jones on for a conversation on thriving and self-discovery in mid-life. Nada Jones is the founder and CEO of Liberty Road, a podcast and organization for entrepreneurial women focused on growth, wisdom, sharing stories, and finding purpose. She has a regular podcast where women in the middle third of their lives share their journeys of self-discovery.
Together they discuss Pam’s approach to thriving as a developmental psychologist; the adventure of women entering and exploring the middle third of their lives; Pam’s definition of thriving; and what might get in the way of thriving during this challenging period of life.
Pam shares resources from psychology and spirituality that can provide for people to grow and support others, describing three pillars for a thriving life: individual, relational, and aspirational.

Show Notes
About Liberty Road podcast and organization

“Pursuing your future doesn't end at 40. In fact, it may mark the beginning of knowing who you are, what you're capable of, and what you really want.”
Thriving at the intersection of three pillars of life: individual, relational, and aspirational.

“In the deepest part of my being, I really want to enable people to thrive in a very holistic way. And live more fully into who they are. Living more authentically, living with deeper connection and, and with deeper purpose.”

Not just another self-help platform

“How do you help us understand purpose or thriving when maybe we haven't put ourselves first?"
Examples for each three pillars

Stay-at-home mom moving into a new phase of life

“Start with loving ourselves and giving ourselves grace.”

“Bring out the best in yourself. Love yourself.”

What images come to mind as positive memories of competency and strength?

Obligations in relationships

What are we actually living out? Is it consistent with our values?

Change your environment or change yourself.

What is spirituality?
Pam King on life in the “middle third”

Reprioritizing and making professional shifts

What keeps you grounded? 10 minutes of silence of meditation.

What are you currently reading? Open and Unafraid by W. David Taylor / Strength That Remains, by Tracy Kidder
About Nada Jones
Nada Jones is the founder and CEO of Liberty Road, a podcast and organization for entrepreneurial women focused on growth, wisdom, sharing stories, and finding purpose. Discover more of her work at www.liberty-road.com.

About the Thrive Center
Learn more at thethrivecenter.org.

Follow us on Instagram @thrivecenter

Follow us on X @thrivecenter

Follow us on LinkedIn @thethrivecenter

About Dr. Pam King
Dr. Pam King is Executive Director the Thrive Center and is Peter L. Benson Professor of Applied Developmental Science at Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy. Follow her @drpamking.

About With & For
Host: Pam King

Senior Director and Producer: Jill Westbrook

Operations Manager: Lauren Kim

Social Media Graphic Designer: Wren Juergensen
Special thanks to the team at Fuller Studio and the Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy.
49 min
November 11, 2024Human Relationality and Growth: Psychological and Theological Perspectives with Dr. Pam King & Evan Rosa
Dr. Pam King joins the Yale Center for Faith & Culture podcast, For the Life of the World, for a discussion of human development, purpose, relational intimacy, and spiritual connection—all through the integration of developmental psychology and theology.
With host Evan Rosa (Yale Center for Faith & Culture), she reflects on human change and plasticity in the midst of a whole complex life; relational attachment for the sake of intimacy and exploration and ultimate purpose or meaning; the proper place of self-love; God’s enabling and loving presence as the ultimate secure attachment figure; the importance of learning, gaining skills, and the pursuit of expertise; the prospects of regaining emotional regulation through relationships; the game changing impact of deliberate psychological and spiritual practices to move us well beyond surviving to a life of thriving.
Show Notes
Martin Buber’s I and Thou

John Bowlby and Attachment Theory

Trolick’s Still Face Experiment (Video)

Justin Barrett & Pamela Ebstyne King, Thriving with Stone Age Minds: Evolutionary Psychology, Christian Faith, and the Quest for Human Flourishing
Production Notes
This podcast featured Pamela Ebstyne King

Edited and Produced by Evan Rosa

Hosted by Evan Rosa

Production Assistance by Macie Bridge and Kaylen Yun

A Production of the Yale Center for Faith & Culture at Yale Divinity School https://faith.yale.edu/about

Support For the Life of the World podcast by giving to the Yale Center for Faith & Culture: https://faith.yale.edu/give‍

This episode was made possible in part by the generous support of Blueprint 1543. For more information, visit Blueprint1543.org.

About the Thrive Center
Learn more at thethrivecenter.org.

Follow us on Instagram @thrivecenter

Follow us on X @thrivecenter

Follow us on LinkedIn @thethrivecenter

About Dr. Pam King
Dr. Pam King is Executive Director the Thrive Center and is Peter L. Benson Professor of Applied Developmental Science at Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy. Follow her @drpamking.

About With & For
Host: Pam King

Senior Director and Producer: Jill Westbrook

Operations Manager: Lauren Kim

Social Media Graphic Designer: Wren Juergensen
Special thanks to the team at Fuller Studio and the Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy.
1 hr 11 min
November 04, 2024Roots to Fruits: How to Live Out Love in Turbulent Times, with Rev. Dr. Pam King
If we want to bear good fruit in our lives, we must have strong roots. Good fruit must lead to love. As the Rev. Dr. Pam King offers in this episode, “Root into love so that you can live out love.”
Speaking on Jesus’s parable of the Tree and Its Fruits in Luke 6, she draws on theological and psychological resources to reflect on the role of active and intentional love in a thriving life.
Luke 6:43-45: “No good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit. For each tree is known by its own fruit. Figs are not gathered from thorns, nor are grapes bramble bush. The good person, out of the good treasure of the heart, produces good. And the evil person out of evil treasure produces evil, for it is out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks.”
Show Notes
Luke 6:43-45: “No good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit. For each tree is known by its own fruit. Figs are not gathered from thorns, nor are grapes bramble bush. The good person, out of the good treasure of the heart, produces good. And the evil person out of evil treasure produces evil, for it is out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks.”
“I believe this scripture … redefines reality and redefines fruit.”
True love in *The Princess Bride — “Wuv. Twoo Wuv.”
“True love is the greatest thing in the world.”
“Root into love so that you can live out love.”
What is thriving? What New Testament parables of Jesus express thriving?
Redefining “Good”
What is good?
“Good” is a four-letter word
There’s always a right answer in Sunday School: “Jesus”
Defining the Relationship? Or Define the Reality?
A reordering of values
“… a radical reordering of values and a re sanctification of sanctioned behaviors. He describes the kind of conduct that is appropriate for this kingdom that he will be leading. It is love your enemies, do good out of love. Give generously out of love. Lend without expectation. Love your neighbor.”
Fruit is a symbol of love
Miroslav Volf and Ryan McAnnally-Linz, “The Home of God”—what is to come is coming now. “Inbreaking”
Flux in congregational or community life
The Reciprocating Self
Conformity is not synonymous with uniformity
“We are each invited to bear fruit out of our own giftedness.”
“Bear fruit as yourself.”
“Pam, you’re a good Pam.”
“We bear fruit by living out God's love. in this world as ourselves.”
Tree imagery in the Bible
“A tree firmly planted, or some versions rooted, by streams of water, that does not get blown when the winds come by.”
What kind of tree are you?
How do you root into God’s love?
Eli Finkel and third-person perspective taking
“When people take a benevolent third person view in the Christian worldview, God's perspective, and they actually write those things about a person, the conflict is still there, but they're able to interact and care for that person more effectively and see that person more wholly.”
“80 percent of Americans young people are lonely. We are in a cultural mode of despair in many ways. We are losing our relational capacity.”
About the Thrive Center
Learn more at thethrivecenter.org.
Follow us on Instagram @thrivecenter
Follow us on X @thrivecenter
Follow us on LinkedIn @thethrivecenter
About Dr. Pam King
Dr. Pam King is Executive Director the Thrive Center and is Peter L. Benson Professor of Applied Developmental Science at Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy. Follow her @drpamking.

About With & For
Host: Pam King
Senior Director and Producer: Jill Westbrook
Operations Manager: Lauren Kim
Social Media Graphic Designer: Wren Juergensen
Special thanks to the team at Fuller Studio and the Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy.
26 min
October 28, 2024Assessment: How to Reflect on Our Progress Toward Spiritual Health with Dr. Pam King
“How did it go?” As we pursue purpose and spiritual health, we need regular opportunities to take stock and understand how our efforts are making an impact in our lives and in the lives of others.
In the process of pursuing purpose, cultivating joy, and connecting more deeply to ourselves, we need to learn how to audit and assess how its going as we live out our spirituality and refine our values.
In this episode, Dr. Pam King explains assessment—the final (and absolutely essential) step in the process of cultivating agility and adaptivity for spiritual health. At this stage, we take stock, adapt, and flex, ready to start fresh and begin anew each day.
Show Notes
Audit and assess
Take stock, adapt, and flex, ready to start fresh and begin anew each day.
Consider cycles and frequencies of assessment
The Ignatian Prayer of Examen
Becoming aware of where God is most fully active in our lives
Slow down, connect with God, and take a different perspective
What are we made and created to do?
What is our purpose as full human selves?
The importance of patience and pausing
Accountability
Utilize emotions as signposts
Drawing on the first step of attunement
How to facilitate the final step of the cycle and move toward beginning again
About the Thrive Center
Learn more at thethrivecenter.org.
Follow us on Instagram @thrivecenter
Follow us on X @thrivecenter
Follow us on LinkedIn @thethrivecenter
About Dr. Pam King
Dr. Pam King is Executive Director the Thrive Center and is Peter L. Benson Professor of Applied Developmental Science at Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy. Follow her @drpamking.

About With & For
Host: Pam King
Senior Director and Producer: Jill Westbrook
Operations Manager: Lauren Kim
Social Media Graphic Designer: Wren Juergensen
Special thanks to the team at Fuller Studio and the Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy.
9 min
October 21, 2024Activation: Intentional Steps Toward Your Purpose with Dr. Pam King
“Activate your skills, gifts, and passions for the benefit of others.”
Activation is the practical step in the cycle of 5 A’s for Agility in Spiritual Health—where we implement a practice or exercise, make a move toward our values, or experiment with something to help us grow.
In this episode, Dr. Pam King walks through the fourth step of the 5 A’s: Activate. This step in the cycle draws from each previous step, going from non-judgmental observation, internally connecting to our values, and then puts our values into action for the sake of living out our purpose.
Show Notes
Implement a practice or exercise, make a move toward our values, or experiment with something to help us grow.
“What is one thing I can do today to more clearly align my life to those values and those sources of joy and mattering that I thought about when I was considering alignment.”
An attitude of discovery
Enacting intentional behavior; bringing our values into real life
“Activate your skills, gifts, and passions for the benefit of others.”
Activating your purpose
What will get us one step closer to our purpose?
Stay mindful of the feelings we attuned to in the first step of the 5 A’s.
Positive, expansive feelings
Small microsteps forward
Moving toward what matters most
About the Thrive Center
Learn more at thethrivecenter.org.
Follow us on Instagram @thrivecenter
Follow us on X @thrivecenter
Follow us on LinkedIn @thethrivecenter
About Dr. Pam King
Dr. Pam King is Executive Director the Thrive Center and is Peter L. Benson Professor of Applied Developmental Science at Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy. Follow her @drpamking.

About With & For
Host: Pam King
Senior Director and Producer: Jill Westbrook
Operations Manager: Lauren Kim
Social Media Graphic Designer: Wren Juergensen
Special thanks to the team at Fuller Studio and the Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy.
9 min
October 14, 2024Alignment: Connecting Our Experience with Our Values with Dr. Pam King
“When our life is aligned to what truly matters, that is when we experience the most enduring joy.”
In this episode, Dr. Pam King explains the 3rd step in the 5 A’s of Agility for Spiritual Health. Alignment is the process of becoming more reflective, drawing connections between our thoughts and emotions—and our beliefs, values, habits, and the experiences that shape us.
This is the step where we look for our intentions and expectations and hold them up to our raw experiences and the possible meanings associated with them. We begin by identifying what's true or what's false in our feelings and thoughts so we can more clearly move toward our purposes.
Show Notes
“Alignment involves aligning the insights that you gained from taking inventory and attuning to your feelings and becoming aware of their meanings of then aligning these feelings to your ideals, your values, and what you assume matters.”

What matters to you?

Taking stock of what we attuned to, and what we became aware of

How do we align what is with what we want?

How to practice alignment

How do you spend your time?

Reflecting regularly on life goals

“When our life is aligned to what truly matters, that is when we experience the most enduring joy.”

Resilience and stability

About the Thrive Center
Learn more at thethrivecenter.org.

Follow us on Instagram @thrivecenter

Follow us on X @thrivecenter

Follow us on LinkedIn @thethrivecenter

About Dr. Pam King
Dr. Pam King is Executive Director the Thrive Center and is Peter L. Benson Professor of Applied Developmental Science at Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy. Follow her @drpamking.

About With & For
Host: Pam King

Senior Director and Producer: Jill Westbrook

Operations Manager: Lauren Kim

Social Media Graphic Designer: Wren Juergensen
Special thanks to the team at Fuller Studio and the Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy.
9 min
October 07, 2024Awareness: Non-Judgmental Reflection on Our Emotions and Thoughts with Dr. Pam King
It’s not easy to reflect on our emotions without judging them or running away from them. It’s difficult to stay with challenging or frightening feelings and thoughts. But to cultivate awareness means taking an open, curious, and non-judgmental approach to observing our minds.
More than simple or immediate observation (like Attunement), awareness asks us to get curious and reflect on our feelings, emotions, thoughts, and the landscape of experience we discovered in step one of attunement. What emotions are coming up for us? What thoughts keep coming into our consciousness?
In this second step of the 5 A’s of Agility for Spiritual Health, Pam King explains how we can become more emotionally aware and open-minded about our psychological reality. The key to observing our thoughts and feelings is to simply look, and not judge yourself. Let the emotions come and go, and learn from they provide information to us.
ANNOUNCEMENT: With & For Season 2 launches on January 6, 2025!
Show Notes
Jill Westbrook introduces the episode
For the most enriching and helpful listening experience, make sure to start with the beginning of this series!
More than immediate observation: we must reflect non-judgmentally
Just observe, don’t judge yourself.
Examining the meaning of our feelings, thoughts, and sensations
Attach reflective thoughts to our embodied and psychological experience
Journaling is a powerful exercise to connect kinetically with emotional realities.
Narration and storytelling helps with processing non-judgmentally.
Cultivating curiosity and open-mindedness
“So be curious, welcome the dust, welcome the muck, hold it, consider what it means and what it's pointing you towards.”
“Avenues for growth. Avenues for loving yourself.”
Uncover the values that fuel our life.
Understanding anger, sadness, disappointment, joy, delight—all as emotional signposts to meaning and purpose
Emotions that direct us to what matters.
Practical Example: Anger
Practical Example: Sorrow or Sadness
“Linger, but don’t loiter.”
“You’re not in this alone.”
About the Thrive Center
Learn more at thethrivecenter.org.
Follow us on Instagram @thrivecenter
Follow us on X @thrivecenter
Follow us on LinkedIn @thethrivecenter
About Dr. Pam King
Dr. Pam King is Executive Director the Thrive Center and is Peter L. Benson Professor of Applied Developmental Science at Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy. Follow her @drpamking.

About With & For
Host: Pam King
Senior Director and Producer: Jill Westbrook
Operations Manager: Lauren Kim
Social Media Graphic Designer: Wren Juergensen
Special thanks to the team at Fuller Studio and the Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy.
12 min
September 30, 2024Attunement: Paying Attention to Our Feelings, Thoughts, and Sensations with Dr. Pam King
What’s happening right now? What do you feel? What physical sensations are present from head to toe?
The first step in practicing the 5 A’s of Spiritual Health is Attunement—a simple, direct process of connecting to reality, perceiving your experience of the present moment, and paying attention to our physical sensations. It’s as simple as a clear-eyed consciousness: listening, feeling, acknowledging, being aware of basic sensations.
In this episode, Dr. Pam King explains attunement and the foundation it lays for cultivating greater agility and adaptivity. She oconsiders theological and psychological grounding for the benefits of attunement, and offers practical techniques, including a body scan and breath exercises.
Show Notes
Jill Westbrook introduces the episode
What is attunement? And how does it support personal agility and adaptivity?

Connecting to reality, the present moment, and our physical experience and sensations

Clear-eyed consciousness

Listening, feeling, acknowledging, noticing sensations

Embodiment and rooting in the body

Our bodies are part of the created order.

God has given us bodies to know and serve God.

Pain and stress, joy or pleasure

How do we attune?

How to perform a body scan

Breath exercises

Walking as a spiritual practice of attunement

Breathing

Andrew Huberman’s breath exercises: “the physiological sigh” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSZKIupBUuc

About the Thrive Center
Learn more at thethrivecenter.org.

Follow us on Instagram @thrivecenter

Follow us on X @thrivecenter

Follow us on LinkedIn @thethrivecenter

About Dr. Pam King
Dr. Pam King is Executive Director the Thrive Center and is Peter L. Benson Professor of Applied Developmental Science at Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy. Follow her @drpamking.

About With & For
Host: Pam King

Senior Director and Producer: Jill Westbrook

Operations Manager: Lauren Kim

Social Media Graphic Designer: Wren Juergensen
Special thanks to the team at Fuller Studio and the Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy.
9 min
September 23, 2024Agility and Adaptation through the 5 A's of Spiritual Health with Dr. Pam King
How can we cultivate agility and adaptivity in our chaotic, shifting times? Dr. Pam King offers a research-backed cycle of practices to incorporate into the rhythms of your daily life—helping you navigate change and work through life’s obstacles. She calls them the 5 A’s of Spiritual Health: Attunement, Awareness, Alignment, Activation, and Assessment.
In this episode, she introduces the 5 A’s, explaining the context, process, and benefits. She comments on the contemplative practices and psychological science that support this cycle of habits and offers reflections on why these simple movements can be so transformative.
ANNOUNCEMENT: With & For Season 2 launches on January 6, 2025!
Show Notes
With & For Producer Jill Westbrook introduces the episode
“Why do we need to develop agility as a practice?”
Developing agility and adaptivity
What the 5 A’s are: “a cycle of practices synthesizing, research on different contemplative practices from different spiritual traditions …. and psychological research around the efficacy or the impact of different types of spiritual practices on human well being and health.”
Attuning to our bodies and physiology
What sensations might mean
Engaging emotions, thoughts, values, actions, and behaviors that lead to a thriving life
Dealing with complexity and unpredictability
Tuning into our sources of meaning and purpose
How to cultivate more spiritual vitality and sense of purpose
“At the center of thriving is adaptive growth.”
“We want to be able to grow in a purposeful direction.”
“Thriving is living life on purpose.”
Agility allows us to balance goals, relationships, and values.
Attunement
Awareness
Alignment
Activation
Assessment
About the Thrive Center
Learn more at thethrivecenter.org.
Follow us on Instagram @thrivecenter
Follow us on X @thrivecenter
Follow us on LinkedIn @thethrivecenter
About Dr. Pam King
Dr. Pam King is Executive Director the Thrive Center and is Peter L. Benson Professor of Applied Developmental Science at Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy. Follow her @drpamking.

About With & For
Host: Pam King
Senior Director and Producer: Jill Westbrook
Operations Manager: Lauren Kim
Social Media Graphic Designer: Wren Juergensen
Special thanks to the team at Fuller Studio and the Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy.
11 min
September 16, 2024A Psychology-Backed Framework for Healthy Spirituality with Dr. Pam King
In this episode, Dr. Pam King discusses why spirituality is so essential to the human experience, and how it operates as the antidote to the culture of anxiety and despair around us.
She works through the Thrive Center’s 6 Facets of Spiritual Health (T.H.R.I.V.E).
1. Transcendence & Spirituality
2. Habits & Rhythms
3. Relationships & Community
4. Identity & Narrative
5. Vocation & Purpose
6. Ethics & Virtues

About the Thrive Center
Learn more at thethrivecenter.org.

Follow us on Instagram @thrivecenter

Follow us on X @thrivecenter

Follow us on LinkedIn @thethrivecenter

About Dr. Pam King
Dr. Pam King is Executive Director the Thrive Center and is Peter L. Benson Professor of Applied Developmental Science at Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy. Follow her @drpamking.

About With & For
Host: Pam King

Senior Director and Producer: Jill Westbrook

Operations Manager: Lauren Kim

Social Media Graphic Designer: Wren Juergensen
Special thanks to the team at Fuller Studio and the Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy.
40 min