Marni welcomes a former Bachelor winner and Dating with Dignity client into the Den. In 2016, Estella Renee was chosen by Bachelor Bob only to find out he was dating someone else. Today, she is happily engaged and runs a successful health and wellness business. She shares what she needed to shift before finding the man she has always wanted.

 

Key takeaways from this episode: 

• Healing from past heartbreak
• Learning to unlock your heart
• Why your online dating profile should reflect your non-negotiables
• When you do the work, the right guy will find you

 

When Everyone Knows You Have Been Hurt [3:15]

Shortly before the Bachelor, Estella suffered a two-fold heartbreak. Her father passed away, then the man she was dating broke up with her. Then to top things off, after Bachelor Bob chose her, it was revealed that he was dating someone else when they were supposed to be working toward a relationship. The rejection was televised and she felt embarrassed by it.  

Estella bottled up her vulnerability and put up her love shield.

But, she was determined to find her man. She searched dating coaches and found Marni. She believes divine intervention was at play. She was 40, she had not yet met her partner, and she wanted a family. She asked God for guidance and she made the call that changed her life.

      

Doing the Work [20:36]

After working with Marni for just a short time she had her first breakthrough. It had become clear to her that she was attracting emotionally unavailable men because she was emotionally unavailable. She felt she wanted to commit, but she was not prepared to fully open her heart, and men could sense it.

We are all humans and while men like the pursuit, everyone wants to feel safe when dating. 

Her biggest hurdle, she says, was signing up for an online dating site. She felt the chance of her meeting someone there was impossible. Marni told her to choose her five non-negotiables and she could not negotiate her non-negotiables. 

If you break a promise to yourself early on it will be the thing that breaks the relationship down the road.

During COVID, Estella scheduled three to four facetime dates in one day. 

Trusting in the Process [34:26]

Estella was only on Match.com for two weeks. Her fiance was one of the first people to contact her after reading her lengthy, but clear profile. He was intrigued by her ability to relay what she wanted from a relationship.

Soon to be married, she and her fiance are also opening a new studio focused on recovery and repair in addition to sculpting the body.

Estella says the difference she feels after doing the work is that she is the best version of herself in this relationship.

 

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Estella Renee