Holiday weeks always make me feel nostalgic, and that feeling tends to make me reflect on people who used to be in my life but no longer are… That’s why, this week, we’re re-releasing our most popular episode of all time—on family estrangement.

Clearly, this topic resonates. So many of us live in the tension between missing someone we’ve cut off, and fearing that reconciliation would just reopen the same wounds that caused the break in the first place. If that’s you, I hope this episode gives you some clarity—and a little bit of peace.

The threads that bind us to our families have begun to feel optional in recent years. 

And in our culture of social media — where anyone with a phone can proclaim themselves to be an expert on subjects that they have no training or qualifications in — influencers are everywhere, some of them encouraging followers to end what they deem to be toxic relationships, or to break unhealthy cycles, or to rethink the obligation of being in our closest relationships. 

I am a fan of healthy relationships. And when they become exploitive, manipulative or harmful, I am OK with someone making the decision to exit the relationship — even when it’s with a family member. 

I am truly torn when it comes to family estrangement. I know first hand the wounds that come from being in a painful relationship. I understand why someone would make the decision to step away. And as a therapist and a human being, I’ve seen the cost people pay when they lose their tribe. 

Joining me in this discussion is Dr. Joshua Coleman, author of the book Rules of Estrangement. Dr. Coleman is a psychologist in private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area, and he has carved out a specialty in family estrangement. 

In this episode you’ll learn:

• The #1 cause of family estrangement.  
• How well-meaning friends and family tend to exacerbate estrangement. 
• The biggest mistakes people make when they’re trying to reconcile. 

AND… Dr. Coleman gives us his greatest tool for those who want to bridge the gap between themself and a loved one they’re cut off from. 

REFERENCES

www.alterntivescounseling.com

Is Cutting Off Your Family Good Therapy?

Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties & How to Heal the Conflict

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani. 

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Watch this episode here on YouTube.