What if the biggest challenge in your relationships isn't finding the right person, but understanding the person doing the choosing? This week on QUESTION EVERYTHING, relationship therapist and bestselling author Vienna Pharaon joins Danielle to unpack the hidden wounds that shape our dating lives, relationships, and marriages. From the five core origin wounds we all carry to the surprising reason we keep repeating the same patterns, Vienna explains how childhood experiences quietly influence who we're attracted to, what we tolerate, and why some relationships feel impossible to leave. Together, they explore the difference between chemistry and compatibility, why awareness alone isn't enough to create change, how emotional maturity transforms relationships, and the questions healthy couples ask that most people avoid. Plus, Vienna shares her thoughts on modern dating, reality TV relationships, betrayal, healing, and the one question everyone should ask themselves about their childhood. In this episode, you’ll also learn: 

• Why Vienna believes most relationship problems start long before we meet our partners
• The five core wounds shaping your dating patterns, relationships, and marriage
• How childhood experiences influence who you're attracted to and why you stay
• The surprising reason we often choose familiarity over healthy love
• Why awareness alone isn't enough to break unhealthy relationship patterns
• How to identify whether you're choosing someone from love or from a wound
• The hidden connection between shame, emotional immaturity, and defensiveness
• Why people-pleasing and shape-shifting can sabotage your relationships
• How childhood attachment wounds show up in dating and long-term partnerships
• Why emotionally mature couples handle conflict differently
• The relationship questions healthy couples ask that most people avoid
• Vienna's take on Love Island, Love Is Blind, and what reality dating shows reveal about modern relationships
• Why "if they wanted to, they would" isn't always true
• Vienna weighs in on Kylie Jenner and Timothée Chalamet's romance and why she thinks they’ll last 
• The one childhood question that could completely change how you understand yourself and your relationships

 

Make sure to check out Vienna’s book The Origins of You, and follow her on Instagram @mindfulmft 

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