For The Love With Jen Hatmaker Podcast

Your Kid Isn’t the Problem (And Neither Are You) with Mandy Grass


Listen Later

Description:If parenting has you oscillating between “I’ve got this” and “I need to lie down immediately,” press play.

Today, we’re stepping into one of the most humbling arenas for compassion and grace: your own living room. Because fierce compassion isn’t just for coworkers and complicated relatives—it’s also for the tiny humans melting down over the wrong color cup or the soccer uniform that didn’t get washed in time for game day. And it’s for YOU, standing there, wondering how you got so activated over this nonsense.

Jen and Amy are talking to Mandy Grass—nationally recognized Board-Certified Behavior Analyst, founder of The Family Behaviorist, former teacher, and mom in a blended family of seven kids (ages four to sixteen). Yes, seven. Her house is less “quiet retreat” and more “ongoing behavioral case study.” The data is… robust.

For nearly two decades, Mandy has been translating behavior science into practical, no-guilt tools for families. Her central message feels radical in a culture obsessed with control: kids’ behavior is communication—not a moral failure. And neither is your exhaustion.

In this conversation, we talk about:

  • What Mandy actually hears when parents say, “We’ve tried everything”

    • How shame and blame sneak into parenting—and how to gently escort them out

      • Why so much of parenting work begins with the parent, not the kid (I know. We had feelings about this too.)

      • And one tiny shift you can make tonight that will cool the temperature at home (no sticker charts required)

        Here’s the truth: we cannot regulate our kids if we are operating at DEFCON 1 ourselves. Fierce compassion means holding boundaries without losing your humanity. It means seeing your child clearly—and offering yourself the same grace when you inevitably lose it over bedtime negotiations.

        Mandy also shares about her new podcast, The Behavior Blueprint, a grounded, step-by-step guide for parents who are tired of quick fixes and ready for something that actually works in real life—not just on Instagram. It’s equal parts instruction, compassion, and “oh thank God, it’s not just me.”

        Take a breath. Your child isn’t the problem. You aren’t either. And that might be the fiercest compassion of all.

        Thought-provoking Quotes:

        • "In behavior analysis, every behavior has a function –attention, escape, access to something tangible, and an automatic or a sensory function."– Mandy Grass

        • “Do I have ADHD, anxiety, or am I just a mom?” – Mandy Grass

        • “Our default is take away, take away, take away. And really what we want to do is reinforce the behavior we want to see more of.” – Mandy Grass

        • “You’re not gonna get it right every time, but at least it doesn't feel like you have no idea what to do.”– Mandy Grass

          Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

          • The Behavior Blueprint podcast with Mandy Grass - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-behavior-blueprint-with-mandy-grass/id1872526999

          • Too Much Junk on Your Social Media Feeds? I'll Show You How to Clean It Up - https://www.pcmag.com/how-to/too-much-junk-on-your-social-media-feeds-ill-show-you-how-to-clean-it-up?test_uuid=04IpBmWGZleS0I0J3epvMrC&test_variant=A

            Guest’s Links:

            Website - https://www.thefamilybehaviorist.com/

            Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/thefamilybehaviorist

            Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61560942080087

            Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@thefamilybehaviorist

            TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@thefamilybehaviorist

            Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-behavior-blueprint-with-mandy-grass/id1872526999

            Connect with Jen!Jen’s Website - https://jenhatmaker.com/

            Jen’s Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmakerJen’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/

            Jen’s Facebook - https://facebook.com/jenhatmakerJen’s YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmaker


            The For the Love Podcast is presented by Audacy. 


            To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy

            Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

            ...more
            View all episodesView all episodes
            Download on the App Store

            For The Love With Jen Hatmaker PodcastBy Jen Hatmaker

            • 4.6
            • 4.6
            • 4.6
            • 4.6
            • 4.6

            4.6

            6,334 ratings


            More shows like For The Love With Jen Hatmaker Podcast

            View all
            Happier with Gretchen Rubin by Gretchen Rubin / The Onward Project

            Happier with Gretchen Rubin

            12,933 Listeners

            The Terri Cole Show by Terri Cole

            The Terri Cole Show

            1,409 Listeners

            The RobCast by Rob Bell

            The RobCast

            4,183 Listeners

            Pantsuit Politics by Sarah & Beth

            Pantsuit Politics

            4,932 Listeners

            The Lazy Genius Podcast by Kendra, The Lazy Genius

            The Lazy Genius Podcast

            6,703 Listeners

            Typology by Ian Morgan Cron

            Typology

            3,204 Listeners

            The Next Right Thing by with Emily P. Freeman

            The Next Right Thing

            5,454 Listeners

            Everything Happens with Kate Bowler by Everything Happens Studios

            Everything Happens with Kate Bowler

            5,140 Listeners

            Laugh Lines with Kim & Penn Holderness by Kim & Penn Holderness

            Laugh Lines with Kim & Penn Holderness

            3,408 Listeners

            Kelly Corrigan Wonders by Kelly Corrigan

            Kelly Corrigan Wonders

            3,375 Listeners

            We Can Do Hard Things by Treat Media and Glennon Doyle

            We Can Do Hard Things

            41,573 Listeners

            Everything Belongs: Living the Teachings of Richard Rohr Forward by Center for Action and Contemplation

            Everything Belongs: Living the Teachings of Richard Rohr Forward

            660 Listeners

            The Jamie Kern Lima Show by Jamie Kern Lima

            The Jamie Kern Lima Show

            2,636 Listeners

            The Oprah Podcast by Harpo

            The Oprah Podcast

            1,677 Listeners

            Welcome to the Party by Treat Media

            Welcome to the Party

            1,038 Listeners