There are moments of great joy in the practice of law.
There’s joy when we win. There’s joy when we lose, as long as we gave it our best shot.
There’s also joy when we know we made a difference in the life of someone who needed help. Being a lawyer can be pretty awesome sometimes.
Many lawyers experience these moments of joy without running their own law practice. Running a practice can be challenging and painful. It’s not for everyone.
When times are good, they’re often really good. They are high-five-slapping, fist-bumping good. The adrenaline highs are intense, especially if you work for a litigation or transactional firm, or a firm navigating a course through bureaucracy.
Sometimes, practicing law is even better than what they show on TV. The people aren’t usually as attractive, but the taste of victory can be very sweet.
But don’t get me wrong: Running a law practice is not all rainbows and sunshine. Sometimes it’s dark clouds and disappointment. Sometimes it’s depressing and demoralizing.
When you feel down, defeated, and unsure if you should continue, remember that you aren’t alone.
Running a practice is hard for all of us from time to time. We’re good at hiding it, though, aren’t we? We’re good at keeping it all under wraps. We’re good at keeping our emotions private, but that doesn't mean we don't feel the distress, the unhappiness, and the tension percolating under the surface.
Lawyers are good at looking good while feeling bad. We're good at appearing detached, objective and neutral. We're trained to deconstruct, disconnect and analyze. We smile pleasantly as the world around us unravels. "Thank you, Your Honor," we say, with a smile, as our objection is overruled.
We tend to assume it’s just us. We see other lawyers who look good and smile big, and assume they feel great. We worry that we’re the only ones who feel stressed or depressed.
But we aren’t alone.
No matter how charmed the life of the lawyer down the hall may appear, that's not always reality.
Our unwillingness and inability to show pain to others, to be open and vulnerable, doesn't mean we don't feel it. The lawyer down the hall, and the one down the block, and the one sixty stories above all feel that pain sometimes.
Often that pain isn’t fleeting, either. It can linger. Sometimes it just won't relent. Many of us don't feel as positive about our work as we would like.
The Most Painful Moments of Running a Practice
As you run your practice and serve your clients, you’ll endure plenty of moments that trigger unhappiness.
Some moments are small. Some are big. All are painful to a greater or lesser degree. Some allow for quick recoveries. Some take a while to banish. Some pain will linger long after its trigger has passed.
I’ve been lucky to skip a few, but I’ve also experienced many of them.
Today I want to run through the list of the most painful moments of running a law practice.
1. You're not in charge
We start our own practices, in part, to take control over our lives. Owning a business is supposed to create freedom, right? We want to set our own schedules, take time away whenever we please, and make our own decisions with regard to how much we work.
But then the moment comes when we cancel the family trip, skip the special meal, or disappoint the loved one on that special day. Our schedules aren’t in our control. Reality strikes the moment we realize that we aren’t in charge.
It’s painful, but we accept it. We accept that other parties (clients, judges, other attorneys, etc.) have a great deal of control over our time. We want to believe that we’re calling the shots, but that first awareness of our lack of control can be shocking.
2. The client hired another lawyer
The initial consultation went well. You really clicked with that client. She seemed ready …